


let me be your mess

by my90four



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hypersensitivity, M/M, OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-04-25 22:19:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 48,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14388279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my90four/pseuds/my90four
Summary: Oh Sehun is an OCD patient and his life is a mess.





	1. Mismatch

The car was moving smoothly over the road, The two brothers sat comfortably in the silence, only the sound of engine roaring could be heard.

It was a chilly morning, Sehun clenches his fist while placing them on his knees sitting straight and once in a while his brother would glance towards him to check if he was okay.

Sehun's mind was filled with bunch of unnecessary thoughts making him anxious and frustrated, He tried to keep his breathing calm by counting inside his head but that does him no good.

Seeing the discomfort on his brother's face, Kyungsoo tried to speak up.

"You don't have to worry about the day, Sehunnie, It'll end before you know it and you know Yixing is always with you, So relax" Sehun nodded slowly not really getting what his brother told him.

"It is one of the many things I don't like" Sehun repeated this exact sentence about two times and stopped once he felt satisfied the way it sounded.

"Yixing can find a better friend than me, Actually he can't have another friend because of me" He whispered still looking ahead avoiding eye contact.

"Why would you think that? Has he ever said something regarding this?" Kyungsoo gripped the steering wheel tightly in sudden anger that Yixing might have said those words to Sehun.

"No" Sehun smiled bitterly, "But any sane person can guess that" His voice broke a little and he grabbed the jeans fabric tightly in his hands.

"See? I can't even talk properly, Hyung" He swallowed while shutting his eyes.

"Sehun, Calm down" Kyungsoo frowned debating whether to look over his brother or the road.

"I-l am ca-alm" He stuttered and it ticked him, "I-l.." He groaned breathing heavily.

"I am calm" He said every word carefully and slowly but the frown on his face tells he wasn't satisfied.

"You are talking alright, I can understand your every single word and yes, you are calm" Kyungsoo comforted him glancing at his brother with wide worried eyes.

"Okay" Sehun whispered licking his lips.

"But I do think I'm a freak, Aren't I?" He whispered under his breath.

It became silent again and Kyungsoo cursed the jerks who have no life and bullies his brother for his vulnerability.

"Take care of yourself and don't let it get to you, Just call me and I'll deal with them" Sehun nodded and smiled at Kyungsoo.

"Goodbye, Drive safely" His eyes widened a little when he said the entire thing fast without any hesitation or stammer, The grin on his brother's face made Sehun feel a little proud of himself.

The walk to the class was like usual, Sehun counting his each step till he reached his locker and took out the needed books.

"Finally" Yixing leaned against the locker besides Sehun and pouted.

"I was waiting for you, You're late" Sehun suddenly grew anxious and checked his watch in panic, Seeing his sudden move, Yixing shook his head.

"No, I was just really early today, You always arrive on time, I'm not as punctual as you, mate" He sighed scratching the back of his neck.

"Ah, I'm sorry" Sehun shakily whispered, Yixing face palmed and gave his best friend a genuine smile, a dimple appearing over his right cheek.

"No, I'm so sorry Sehunnie, I'm messing up today" He laughed nervously.

Sehun chuckled waving it off, Rubbing his hands together again.

"I'm so cold" Yixing gasped dramatically, making Sehun smile, "Come here, I wanna hug you" He opened his arms and Sehun stepped back.

Yixing noticed and was about to apologize when he realized what he said, but Sehun cut him off by reaching out for his arm.

It was one of the few times Sehun made an attempt at physical contact and to say that Yixing was shocked was an underestimate.

He gave him a one sided hug and Sehun felt his entire body shaking internally, Yixing immediately embraced him in a warm hug and let him go.

"You're really warm" He commented and Sehun was too engulfed in his thoughts to hear what his best friend said.

He made it, He hugged Yixing and he even talked some sentences properly throughout the day so far, The little feeling of accomplishment made him happy, very happy.

"Class" He reminded his best friend and they made their way to the class.

Just like his brother Kyungsoo said, the day was almost at the end, It was a free class the teacher being absent, Sehun decided to go to library for book reading.

He held his favorite book in his hand 'Harry Potter and the goblet of Fire', He has read every book in the series so many times that now he knows any dialogue and spell.

Oh Sehun is a 23 year old guy, He's a university student 3rd year, Majoring in English literature.

He has a sharp mind and insanely good looks, One of the many reason people reach out to him until they feel the wall built around him.

Something which he hasn't placed, It was Naturally.

It was when he turned 7, His mother started noticing the symptoms of him being way too focused on making everything correct repeatedly.

Waving it off at first that her son is just a perfectionist, She doesn't discovered it unless Sehun's older brother Kyungsoo told her what he encountered when he went to check up on his brother.

Sehun was mindlessly scrubbing the doors of the cupboard, Cleaning the nonexistent dirt, A frustrated expression on his face, His hands were all scratched.

Kyungsoo called him and was about to enter his room when he yelled, "NO! Th-here is dirt o-on your shoes, S-sorry but please get out, I have to c-clean this"

He was on the verge of tears when his every word came out choked and he was stammering, again.

"Hyung, Go away" He whispered examining the scratches on his palm, the blood dried on them.

A pained sob escaped his lips as he looked up scanning the whole room then his hands, It was all messy for him when in real, The most clean room Kyungsoo has walked in on.

"It isn't working" He hiccupped staring at his brother, Kyungsoo's feet were frozen on the spot, not really knowing how to sort it out.

"Come on, Let's get you cleaned, The room is completely neat" He assured him reaching out for his brother's hands when Sehun drew his hand back.

"I can do it" His tone determined and before his brother could utter a word, He ran off to the bathroom.

The Oh family found out that the youngest was a OCD patient, Obsessive - Compulsive Disorder.

From that day on, He was taken care of by everyone especially his older brother Kyungsoo, From time it has grown better than before, But it's still worse.

Sehun found Yixing in the middle of the corridor, He wanted to ask Yixing to accompany to the Library, They both like to read books and not once Sehun has asked him to come along.

Sehun wants to improve, He wants to come over the vulnerability he feels every time he's surrounded with people.

"Sehun ah, You're going to the library right?" He nodded his head in approval and Yixing smiled.

"I'm going to a party this Friday, I'm just gonna meet the guys who are hosting it, You know it's just a small house one"

Seeing Sehun's confused gaze, Yixing continued, "I met them during my 2nd year of dancing classes, They're very cool and nice guys"

Checking his watch, Yixing waved "Have fun reading" Giving his best friend a small smile Sehun walked to the library.

A bunch of unnecessary thoughts and the feeling of disappointment creeping inside, He thought Yixing has only one friend and it was him.

It was mixed emotions, Relief with jealousy and disappointment.

He swallowed placing the book on the table rubbing his temples, sighing he leaned on the chair.

A party? He has always wondered what it would be like, And Yixing mentioned it's a small one.

The thought vanished just as it appeared, He realized what being there would be like and that's a nightmare.

He read the book with a heavy heart which doesn't happen very often, He knows he should be happy for his best friend but the possibility of his only friend drifting apart and forgetting about him, scares him half to death.

Yixing is one of the reasons why he's still surviving in this hell of a university, It isn't a high school but mentality of some students remains the same no matter how far they've come.

Sehun is a victim of bullying, Knowing his situation enough they prepare the very things Sehun escapes from, it's messed up.

There sick minds have set up on seeing him miserable, Sehun didn't tell anyone about it, Somehow believing whatever the bullies spat at him.

The one question he always ponder over, Is he really a freak? 

He thinks he's a normal human being but isn't at the same time.

When Sehun almost had a panic attack in front of Yixing, did he get to know about it, After this Kyungsoo has grown even more protective over his baby brother.

He at last closed the book when he can't concentrate on it, Decided to wander around the building, Sehun found himself in the music and dance department, He has the music class as a minor so he's familiar with the surroundings.

Yet he has never seen any in the dance region, It was a glass door but he can't see through it, That means the ones who are inside can spot him staring.

Dance was another thing he was quiet fond of but the many specific things comes along with it irked him making it not in his reach to grasp either.

He opened the door to his music class, The room was neat and clean with white walls, pictures of several instruments which were placed in the huge hall in real too.

It was cold, The first thing Sehun observed as he steps in the room.

It was his favorite class, One of the reasons being, it's always well polished in favor of Sehun.

"There is no one here, Dear, Are you here to practice alone?" The incharge coordinator asked him politely, She was a petite lady with short hair, looking up waiting for Sehun's answer.

He nodded as it was pretty obvious, not trusting his voice more likely not wanting to embarrass himself by repeating a single sentence multiple times.

The lady left giving him the permission to practice before the hall closes, He set his bag down on a chair, sitting down in front of a piano.

He was pretty good at playing piano, Literally everyone praises him for it yet his mind doesn't allow it to feel enough satisfactory.

He licked his lips nervously and started playing the tune he himself made.

It is a sad tune and every song that Sehun chooses to play on this instrument tends to be sorrowful.

He places every key carefully and made sure that it sounds exactly the way he wanted it to be, Throughout he wasn't fully happy but he did it and that was a big relief.

Every press was like a slight tick to his heart, Making it beat faster, This were the moments Sehun pities himself alone, For being a burden to almost everybody mostly to his brother.

He slowly grabbed his bag when the bell rang and finally steps out of the room.

It seemed like no one was really in this side of the building seeing Sehun found no one at the corridor just as he was getting comfortable walking on his own, He heard a door opening.

He sensed the person's presence closer, And seconds later he walking side by side with Sehun.

Sehun glanced to his side, It was a guy just around his age, almost as tall as him, lean and very gorgeous.

He wanted to talk, maybe even just ask his name or something but it felt like his throat was closed, He couldn't get a word out.

The guy passed him a small smile but sadly Sehun couldn't even return it back, His mind was overwhelmed with hundred thoughts.

Sehun started walking at a faster pace cause he felt difficulty in breathing, shaking his head multiple times like he was telling himself not to make a scene right here and went out of the department's door.

He looked at his feet noticing the way he was walking, Counting his each step as he made his way towards the parking lot.

 

\------

 

"When are you gonna finish this?" Chen whined, sprawled across the floor.

"I am finished actually, I'm just arranging the song lists cause I need to practice this right away after class tomorrow" Jongin sighed placing the CDs on the table beside the music player.

"Just pack your crap then, I'm bored" Chen glared at him standing up, whining again about the pain in knees.

"Remind me next time to never stay behind with you for practice" Jongin chuckled at Chen's childishness.

"Fine Mate, now chill" He ruffled his damp hair with a towel before shoving it in the bag.

"Just how long do you take to shower? You know it isn't gonna change anything, You're suddenly not gonna become handsome ya know, get over it, Stop trying so hard, Good heavens" Chen complained again after few minutes making Jongin roll his eyes.

"Remind me next time to never make you stay with me for practice" Repeating Chen's word, Jongin dashed out of the dance practice room finding another person already walking on the corridor so he shut himself up.

The guy ahead of him wasn't walking fast actually he was in a slow pace, occasionally looking down at his feet, licking his lips now and then, Jongin is a very observant person, So he catches on every single detail he can.

In no time he was walking along with the said person and Jongin has seen him once or twice in this department so he wasn't a complete stranger, It was a familiar face cause he remember him.

Yixing is in Jongin's dance class, a good friend and of course he has mentioned Sehun.

Sehun seemed like in a panic mode cause he rushed out of the hall the moment Jongin smiled at him.

"For Goodness sake, Jongin, Keep your smile to yourself, You scared that poor child" Chen's voice boomed across the corridor, Jongin rolled his eyes for the millionth time.

"Before commenting on me, Just show yourself a mirror" Their friendship was full of insults and embarrassment, Never once they actually praised each other but that's just their way, They know they'll be there for each other when the other person needs them.

"But Dude" Chen sighed catching up to Jongin looking at him with serious expression, "He was hot" He smirked creepily before sighing.

"But you had to scare him away, I was sure Baekhyun would've hit on him"

"He seemed like a very serious and decent guy, plus he's Yixing's best friend, so watch out before you do anything" Chen giggled slapping Jongin's arm, "Aww, JongJong already called dibs on him, huh?" 

Jongin groaned shoving Chen away, "Don't be jealous, my love, Calm down" His tone as if he was talking to a child except the child being Jongin.

"I'm already tired, I can't deal with your bullshit, Stop it" Jongin whined running away from Chen, They found themselves at the parking lot running after each other, Baekhyun waved at them with cans of cokes in his hand.

"That's what you call a best friend, Bumblebee" Chen made a face at Jongin making him frown again.

"What the heck did you just call me? Is that from transformers?" Without answering Jongin, He ran towards Baekhyun's car.

Jongin mindlessly made his way towards the car too but just his luck, He bumped into someone, hard.

He grabbed his arms rubbing them slightly about to apologize when he found two big eyes glaring at him, If it was possible Jongin would've been buried 10 feet under ground.

When his mind allowed him Jongin finally understood the situation, He had bumped into Sehun, who was lightly shivering beside the short guy, the other about to murder him with his eyes.

Jongin stared at Sehun his eyes meeting his glossy ones.

Sehun was biting on his lower lip hard enough that it may drew blood.

"Don't you got eyes to see? Do you always wander around bumping into people" He walked across opening the door for sehun who was mumbling something under his breath.

"Move" Jongin nodded moving away finally walking to where his friends were.

Chen slapped his own forehead before shaking his head, "Nothing's gonna help you, You're hopeless"

"Try to stay awake  when you're in public, you know" Chanyeol joined in and Baekhyun gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Can we just move on, I'm definitely about to fall asleep"

"Hi Guys, Sorry for being late, The line was long" Yixing showed the paper bag in his hands smiling softly.

"Watch out before you do anything" Chen mimicked Jongin, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Are you okay, Sehun ah?" Kyungsoo asked his brother while on the way to their house.

Sehun finally release his bottom lip, humming as an answer, "Y-you" He cleared his throat rubbing his palms, "You didn't have to snap at him like that, Hyung"

"And he didn't have to wander around without thinking" Kyungsoo murmured, "You saw yourself, right? You can't handle a single touch and he literally enveloped you in a hug, For a second I thought he did it on purpose, Sehun ah was he one of them?" 

Sehun knows Kyungsoo was referring to the bullies and Sehun don't even wanna think about them.

"No, he wasn't" Swallowing the lump in his throat, He can't erase the thoughts he was having.

He started rubbing his hand harshly facing the window, It's like he can feel the linger of his touch on his arm and hands.

He leaned his head on the seat taking deep breaths but his mind wasn't letting him.

A sudden jerk on his hand made him scream, The car came to a abrupt stop.

Eyes wide, Sehun turned to his brother, Loud sobs were heard, Sehun didn't know who was it until he realized it was himself fighting off to breath.

"No, please no, Hyung, Make it stop" Sehun cried out.

"Take a deep breath" Kyungsoo was yelling at him now, "Breathe" He felt his own eyes getting wet.

But Sehun wasn't listening to him, His eyes rolled back.

 

"SEHUN"


	2. Breaking The Ice

"I can't do it right" Jongin muttered under his breath, His eyes glaring at his own reflection in the wall sized mirror.

"Of course you can, You're gonna nail it, babeh" Chen yelled from somewhere in the room making Jongin roll his eyes at another nickname given to him.

"When? When is it gonna happen?" Chen hummed playing with the keychain around his finger, "In your dreams, maybe?" 

The look on Jongin's face tells that he wasn't having any of it today which shut Chen up, "You're already doing good, What else do you want?"

"I'm not satisfied, Did you saw the way Yixing dances to this? He's on the point from the start to the end, I don't match that" Jongin confessed leaning against the mirror.

"If you weren't the match, Then none of the teachers would've given you the front spot" Chen said as a matter of fact cause he is a really good best friend anyway.

Jongin huffed shaking his head, "I was better at it" He murmured making Chen roll his eyes, hard.

"You're insecure, Don't know what for" Chen stood up from his spot, wandering around the room, "Have faith in yourself, Bumblebee"

"Stop calling me that" Jongin whined laying down on the dance floor, a pout on his face.

The clicking of door echoed indicating that someone just entered, "Hello, Guys"

"Hola Yixing" Chen greeted him but Jongin didn't moved an inch from his position, neither said a word.

"Yixing?" Jongin called him and when he had the attention of the said person, He continued "Can we practice together, Tommorow? I just can't make it seem right" He finally looked at him waiting for the response.

The polite smile on Yixing's face sealed the deal, "Of course"

"You've been calling someone for about half an hour now without them answering, Who's it?" Chen teased, a cheeky smile plastered on the face.

Yixing laughed shaking his head, "It's my best friend" Chen raised his eyebrows, "Isn't your best friend an attention seeker?"

"No, He isn't" He paused, "Actually...he's the exact opposite" The seriousness in Yixing's voice all of sudden increased the tension in the room.

"I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow, Jongin" After bidding his farewell, Yixing walked out of the room.

"He was mad" Chen pointed out and sighed, "What did I said wrong?" He pouted making Jongin cringe.

"He's just protective over his best friend, We all know this very well" Jongin murmured his mind wandering over the yesterday encounters with Sehun.

"He was out of place" It wasn't a question but a statement, Jongin raised his eyebrows at Chen.

"Why do you say?" Chen just shrugged, "He just felt like it" that was his confession and Jongin was left bewildered.

× - × - × 

 

Yixing rushed to Sehun's house cause even Kyungsoo wasn't answering his phone calls and that set him in full on panic mode.

Knocking on the door several times, Yixing finally noticed the lock on the door, "The hell?" He cried in frustration.

No way to contact them, He knocked on the neighbor's door but it was of no use as they had no idea either.

"Did something happened? What exactly, He was fine yesterday, wasn't he?" He started thinking over any strange thing about Sehun but found none.

He bit his lip wondering that he might be overreacting and when they'll see his calls and texts, Surely they would contact him back.

Finally calming down, He heads over to his own house still checking his phone now and then in the bus.

People might find it weird of him being so overprotective of his best friend but Yixing can't help it, The different encounters he had with Sehun urged him to protect his vulnerable childhood mate.

Remembering the day he found Sehun in the empty classroom still is dreadful to him, Sehun was sobbing and clutching onto his heart, He looked like a little helpless child on the verge of fainting.

Yixing wants to know who's behind all this, Wants to get it out of Sehun but he knows that forcing him on this won't help anyone.

His phone rings just as he clicked his house's door open, "Kyungsoo" He answered, he heard shuffling on the other side.

"Yes, Yixing, Hi" Kyungsoo finally answered and Yixing sighed plopping down on his couch.

"I dropped by your house it was locked, I called you multiples time, Even Sehun, Where are you guys?" He said everything in one breath now waiting for the other to explain.

Yet he just explained in a few words.

"Sehun fainted" Those mere two words sets Yixing off the couch and over to his door in seconds.

"What happened?" He panted running out of the building of his apartment cause the younger was important to every single person.

"Has he gain consciousness now?" Yixing asked finally catching his breath stopping at a bus stop.

"Not yet" Yixing rubbed his face in frustration, "When did that happen?"

"Yesterday afternoon when I picked him up from university" Yixing's eyes widened in realization.

"An entire day? He hasn't woke up yet! Is it bad than before?" Kyungsoo sighed and Yixing heard someone else talking to him assuming a nurse.

"I think so" Kyungsoo whispered and Anyone can guess that the guy was too worried for his younger brother's health.

"I'll be there"

 

Kyungsoo entered the room watching his mother sitting on the stool beside his youngest's son bed, running her fingers through Sehun's hair.

"They've grown longer, right?" Kyungsoo murmured commenting over his brother's hair, His mother nodded a fond smile on her face.

"It suits him" She said moving away the bangs from Sehun's eyes, Kyungsoo passed his mother a small smile walking over to the couch and laid there.

The door opened and Yixing stepped in looking worried as hell, He greeted their mother by silently bowing and joining Kyungsoo on the couch.

"Can he open his eyes now? I'm going crazy" Yixing mumbled watching his best friend laying peacefully on the bed.

"He's very tired, Let him rest" Kyungsoo answered back even though he himself was going crazy.

"He initiated touch yesterday" Yixing finally said something after minutes gaining Kyungsoo's full attention.

"What?" Yixing nodded, "Yes, We hugged but he was literally shaking throughout" Kyungsoo glared at him and he passed him a sheepish smile.

"What? He's like a brother to me too"

After debating for a while, Kyungsoo ended up telling Yixing.

"He had a panic attack, He was almost blue because he couldn't breath, I asked him about a weirdo who bumped into him yesterday maybe he could be the bully, After that this happened" His eyes went back to Sehun and he somehow blamed himself for even bringing it up.

"Who was the weirdo?" Kyungsoo shrugged rolling his eyes thinking about that dumb idiot as he called him, He didn't like the guy at all, It was certain.

"I have to attend my shift now" his mother stood up, briefly taking a moment to adjust the bag on the stand, She kissed Sehun on the forehead which she can't usually.

"Take care of him, Dear" She told Kyungsoo and bid farewell.

It was in the evening when Sehun finally gained consciousness and he knows by the surroundings he was yet again in the hospital.

He found Kyungsoo filling a glass of water, with Yixing knocked out on the couch.

He didn't make a sound just continued watching them until Kyungsoo glanced towards him that made the brother aware that he was awake.

The smile passed his way was full of relief, "Thank God" Kyungsoo helped him drink the water and moved the bed up for Sehun to sit.

"How are you feeling?" He mumbled, also taking the seat beside the bed.

"Fantastic" Sehun replied sarcastically, sighing he dropped his head on the mattress again due to heaviness.

 

× - × - ×

 

"Where's Chanyeol nowadays?" Baekhyun asked out of nowhere gaining Jongin's attention.

"He rarely hang out with us now" He ignored opening the laptop and chooses a movie on Netflix.

"He's kind of a crazy person if you ask me" Baekhyun turned towards Jongin making him chuckle, "Why do you say?" 

"He just gives that kind of vibes" laughing at his friend's comments, seconds later he completely got lost in the movie playing on the device.

Chen entered Jongin's room like it was his own and plopped down on the bean bag in the way.

"I have something to tell you guys" He said seriously that the other boys stopped their movie instantly.

"What is it?" Baekhyun sat up curiously giving Chen his entire attention.

"Remember the guy you bumped into yesterday?" He asked Jongin quickly, At the nod he continued again, "He and Chanyeol are a thing" a smirk playing on Chen's lips.

"Woah, This is sudden" Baekhyun whispered letting out an empty laugh, "That moron didn't even told us anything and here we are" Despite complaining coolly, He was frowning throughout as if he was having a conflict inside.

"Who told you that?" Jongin asked monotone, His face showing no expression whatsoever.

"Chanyeol Duh" Knotting his eyebrows in a thinking manner, The movie was abandoned as the three friends got engaged on the newly found news.

"Never did I thought he would be the first to get someone" Baekhyun complained again pouting, "By the way, Sehun is hot" He smirked then huffed again realizing he's ogling over his friend's said to be partner.

Jongin was quite taking out his tomorrow's outfit then put it back roughly, the sound of closet door closing was loud.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Baekhyun yelled still sprawled out on the bed glaring at his friend, "Say, are you mad?" He frowned yet narrowed his eyes, "JongJong" He called him in a singsong voice.

"Tell me, Do you have a crush on Chan?" Baekhyun looked at him eyebrows raised and Jongin scoffed.

"Really, You're unbelievable" He rolled his eyes running his hands through his hair, "I'm just worried about my dance piece?" It sounded more like a question than a statement but Baekhyun decided to just let it go cause it didn't occur to both of them that the outburst might've been because of an unknown feeling for an almost unknown person.

 

× - × - ×

 

"Hey Chan" Baekhyun called him from the bleachers, waving his hand to indicate his presence to Chanyeol.

"Hi Baek" He smirked noticing the way Baekhyun eye's widened at his lip piercing, It was like a ring type attached to the left side of his bottom lip.

"When did you get that done?" He asked raising his eyebrows playing it cool but Chanyeol knew he was more than curious.

"Like a week ago? It is as a memory of remembering something" He tapped on his lips a smirk already lingering, Baekhyun whistled laughing along with him.

"Jongin, What do you think?" The said person was quiet throughout the whole conversation and Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

"He's such a bore, You definitely think it's weird and eerie right? just like my tattoos" He showed off his bare arms easily Wearing a tank top in the chilly weather, "Let him be, Baek" He teased him in a child-like voice.

"You're weird, So of course everything you do, should be expected right?" Jongin shrugged copying his actions.

"Aww, Someone's a little hurt" Chanyeol cooed ruffling Jongin's hair knowing obviously that he hated it, Jongin clenched his jaw getting up and ready to leave.

"Just kidding, Don't take it serious, Grumpypa" Chanyeol waved, chewing on a gum in his mouth as he blow out a little balloon.

"How come We've never seen you and Sehun together before, You guys are somewhat together right? As chanyeol told us" He glanced at Baekhyun to join him and he nodded.

"Sehun is a very private person, He likes to keep everything at his own, that's why" Chanyeol said smoothly turning back towards Jongin, eyes dark and he was almost glaring, Almost.

"That's him, right?" Baekhyun shouted suddenly pointing to someone, It was Sehun.

With someone by his side, Jongin realized it was the same person who snapped at him.

Sehun had a cannula in his hand his head was hung low, Chanyeol turned around at the speed of light with wide eyes.

"Why aren't you going to him?" Jongin asked, "He's with his brother" The other muttered, "And he doesn't like me" He continued his eyes not leaving Sehun's figure until he was out of their sight.

"Wow, Cliche much" Baekhyun cooed at Chanyeol making him chuckle, He put an arm around Baekhyun, walking over to Jongin.

"I know you don't like me, either" Chanyeol whispered, eyes cold but Jongin's weren't any warmer.

"About time, For once" Jongin muttered not backing down from the intense staring round, "I hate your guts" He confessed calmly, "And I'm certain, I made it pretty obvious" 

Baekhyun gasped, Chanyeol was quiet for a moment, "Didn't know it was that bad" He pouted at Jongin letting out a mocking laugh, "Don't worry brother, I'm not in love with you either" He winked and took his leave dragging a shocked Baekyun.

Jongin was clenching and unclenching his fist controlling his anger, "Bastard" He muttered under his breath and dashed over to the parking lot planning to skip the rest of the day.

Several days passed, and the very observant Jongin noticed that he hasn't seen Chanyeol with Sehun, not even once, Sehun's brother didn't liked him right? He was alone now, What's the deal?

If anything, He has seen Sehun avoid Chanyeol at all costs, It was in Cafeteria that when Chanyeol showed up, Sehun was out of the room instantly giving Chanyeol a disgusting look

So they being a thing? Only a fool would believe that and Jongin wasn't one of them.

 

× - × - ×

 

"Sehun ah, Wake up it's time for lunch, Sweetheart" His mother called softly placing the bowl of soup on the night side table before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sehunnie..." She whispered, her voice small staring at the pile of blankets on top of his son, She pulled it off of Sehun in hurry.

He was already awake.

"Bucket, I can't get up and I'm about to throw up too" Sehun murmured weakly turning away again laying on his side.

She stood up in a hurry grabbing a small tub and placing it on the floor at the side of bed, He gagged covering his mouth, eyes still closed.

He groaned rubbing his injected hand, the cannula still present on his left hand.

At these situations, His mother can't help but feel useless cause no matter how much they want, she can't give hugs and kisses to the younger like any normal mother would do.

No child flinch back at the touch of their mother but Sehun does and It wasn't the boy's fault but his fate's.

He emptied his stomach falling back on the bed, Tears filled eyes he stared at his mother in sorrow, "Are you feeling better?" Her bottom lip quiver but she held it in.

He shook his head in reply but stood up with the furniture's support.

"I want to take a bath, P-probably I will feel better" He closed the door without saying anything else.

"What's all these dishes for?" Kyungsoo asked shrugging off his coat settling the packed bubble tea on the counter.

"I've invited my boss for dinner, She was kinda interested on getting to know her employees, She just transfered you know" His mother explained but he wasn't looking pleased by the information.

"What about Sehun, Mom? You know he isn't slightly relaxed around people, You could've just done it outside" He sighed, rubbing his face, "He just discharged from hospital"

"I know, I'm his mother! Don't make me feel like I don't even care about my son!" She raised her voice, Kyungsoo bit his lip pondering over how Sehun is gonna deal with it.

"But this is my boss, Honey, I have to do it even I'm not willing cause it would be so rude and it's the first time their whole family is coming over, So please understand" 

"Of course Mom, I understand" Kyungsoo leaned forward against the kitchen counter staring at all the dinner preparations.

"I'm just worried for Sehun, I am probably overreacting but he isn't feeling too well, Where's he anyway?"

"In his room, I have talked to him about it, He said he's fine with it and he doesn't need to stay out for long just dinner time, Ma'am would understand" Kyungsoo nodded taking the bubble tea to Sehun's room.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, You're finally awake" Kyungsoo bowed slightly as mocking making Sehun smile weakly.

"Mom is having some people over, I'm already tired" He plopped down next to Sehun but kept a safe distance.

"I heard she has an actual son and 3 step sons" Sehun let out a soft laugh at Kyungsoo's family description of his mother's boss.

Kyungsoo smiled telling him about various things about his employees and day at the bank.

"Yixing is coming too, He's your secondhand brother" Kyungsoo rolled his eyes before informing Sehun, "I swear, He's trying to steal you from me" Sehun ruffles his wet hair with the towel laughing at his brother's possessive comment.

"It's nothing like that, Hyung" Sehun muttered, his voice still coming out raspy and low.

"What should I wear?" He pointed to his closet and Kyungsoo stood up immediately to help him.

The older picked out a all black outfit for the younger too, saying they should give the 'brother vibes'.

 

It was evening, Yixing was sprawled across the couch but in the blink of eye he was sitting in a perfect posture at the door bell.

Turns out it was only a neighbor, Asking for yoghurt.

"Why? Get comfortable, no?" Kyungsoo teased Yixing, smirking while Yixing rolled his eyes, again going back to the position he was in minutes ago.

"See" Yixing raised his eyebrows as Sehun smirked watching his brother and best friend bicker knowingly.

"Lovers Quarrel" Sehun mumbled loud enough for them to hear, He opened the fridge to take out his Bubble tea.

The room went silent, Sehun bit his lip suppressing from laughing out loud.

Their mother made her way down the stairs, finally ready, Sehun stared at her with a fond smile.

"Sweetheart, You'd be alright? I am very sorry, You can go into your room anytime if you aren't feeling well, yeah" She apologized looking guilty and the pang he felt in his chest was kinda strong enough for him to talk.

"Why are you apologizing? I'd be okay, Don't worry about me" She smiled but the look of concern wasn't fading.

"I'm here, Mrs Oh" Yixing waved grinning showing his set of teeth, "So don't be worried" He said in a matter of fact tone.

"Of course, Sehunnie's with me, What are you even worrying for?" Kyungsoo scoffed as Yixing mouthed copy cat at him.

"They'll be here anytime" Their mother announced and disappeared in the kitchen to check the dishes.

"4 males, Means no female" Yixing sighed pouting, "There's one, Ma's boss" Kyungsoo replied coolly.

Sehun rolled his eyes but a smile on his face, Are they gonna start again?

The bell rang just in time and His mother dashed out of Kitchen in hurry to get the door startling Yixing on the way that he almost fell from the couch.

The three boys burst out in laughter at the scene not caring that the guest just arrived.

Sehun finally got his breath but Kyungsoo was still laughing, Yixing threatening to strangle him, the weak threat made Kyungsoo laugh even more.

Sehun was confused at, what his brother had found so funny when the Yixing scene was not that hilarious.

Yixing joined him moments later, And they both sat on the couch laughing together at nothing in particular, Sehun raised his eyebrows at the pair who were looking retarded.

"This way, Ma'am" Sehun's eyes widened when he heard his mother's voice, Footsteps coming closer.

"Get yourself together you two, Stop laughing like maniacs" Sehun whisper yelled but Yixing said something and they held their stomachs letting out a mute laugh, their bodies shaking.

Sehun threw a pillow at them which hit Yixing in the face, it seems to add fuel to the fire as they couldn't stop laughing.

Forget about the guests, Sehun was more worried about his brother and best friend's well being, When the footsteps sounds even closer, Kyungsoo ran to the kitchen, getting hit by the couch on the way but he eventually disappeared in the other room.

"What are you on today?" Sehun asked, a frown on his face, Yixing shook his head passing him a sheepish smile, clearing his throat he sat down like nothing happened.

Kyungsoo came out with a water bottle in his hand, grinning at his brother innocently.

"Here" Their mother voice echoed, indicating that they would make themselves present in just seconds and Sehun felt his heart race again.

Sehun doesn't get along with anyone besides his family and Yixing and he's about to have dinner with people who are nothing but strangers to him.

Might be normal for everyone but not Sehun, He over thinks every little matter, Sometimes probably see things the way they even aren't.

They don't get many guests cause his family is enough considerate of him and neither does he gets out much rather than university.

His social interaction somehow doesn't even exist, He's a secret book to the others around him.

He breathed deeply, looking up at the ceiling to calm his nerves down, It helped a little but not enough to make him completely relaxed.

On second thoughts, Sehun isn't a relaxed person, Not even when he's alone, all by himself.

Sehun doesn't know what he has done to deserve this, Some say OCD can get under control from time if you focus and get yourself together but after years of trying, Sehun doesn't think it's for him.

He thinks he's stuck with this forever.

"Sehun" Kyungsoo called his younger brother but the lack of response made him frown.

"Sehun" The younger finally snapped out of his train of thoughts and look around his surrounding.

A lady just around his mother's age was sitting on the couch, staring at him with a curious gaze.

Sehun wants to run to his room and cover himself with the blanket but he can't do that.

He licked his lips, he glanced towards his brother then bowed greeting her formally.

She greeted back with a soft smile and Sehun turned around and then it hit him that she was supposed to come with his family, The three boys sat on the other couch.

Sehun's eyes widened a little when he caught the sight of certain someone, The gorgeous male he saw in the hallway, The one who bumped into him at the parking lot.

He shuddered at the memory cause the after scenes weren't very appealing or satisfying.

He blinked before bowing slightly in a greeting, They mimicked him, all boys looking decent and moral.

Jongin, He's Kim Jongin, Sehun get to know.

He's one of Yixing's friends, They knew each other because of Dance classes.

"Doesn't she had 4 sons? Ma told me so" Kyungsoo whispered taking out soft drinks cans from the fridge.

"She's named Park Eun, They are Kims, So these boys are her step sons" Kyungsoo chuckled placing everything on the counter, "Wow she didn't bring her real son"

"Why? Are you dying to meet him?" Yixing asked suddenly appearing at the doorway, Sehun rubbed his hands together grabbing onto his jacket tightly as it wrapped around him.

"Yes, I am, How did you know?" Kyungsoo replied sarcastically, passing the drinks to Yixing without even asking or warning.

"Sehunnie, Your mother says to bring you to the dinner table, Come on" Yixing waited as Sehun reluctantly followed him.

"Jongin is a very nice guy" Yixing spoke and Sehun raised his eyebrows at the statement.

"I'm sure he is, But what a-about it?" he sighed deeply, I was going fine but had to mess up in the end, he thought

"Talk to him" Yixing looked at him expectantly, "I'm sure you'll get along very well, Remember how we started, I thought you were very cute and didn't left you alone until you became my friend" He shrugged when Sehun smirked, Yixing has told him multiples times how he finds him way too endearing.

Yixing moved from China to Korea when he was just 9 years old, They went to same school and coincidentally they lived nearby.

They met at the football ground for the first time when Sehun was cleaning the bleacher seat he was supposed to sit on.

He followed him around which was creepy but he still accompanied him everywhere cause Sehun was always alone and so was Yixing.

"He seems interested in getting to know you, That's why I'm saying" Yixing whispered as they finally reached in front of everyone's eyes.

"Eun, What about your other son? I was looking forward to meet him" Sehun heard his mother asking, "Oh, He was quite busy so he couldn't make it but he really wanted to come meet you guys" She responded and Sehun saw Jongin rolling his eyes at the statement.

Their eyes met and they continued staring at each other for a while, none surrendering to break the eye contact first yet Sehun eventually did to slide his chair slightly to give Kyungsoo space to join them as well.

"Hey, Jongin" Kyungsoo called him grinning a little too brightly, Sehun frowned at his brother, acting very eerie rather than his usual reserved behavior.

Sehun wondered if his brother was actually high on something and he doesn't know.

Before he even realized Sehun was digging his nails into his palms harshly cause he was nervous, There were people around in his house whom he didn't knew, He just passed smiles to the guests yet not Jongin.

Their last interaction was the brief eye contact they had and just like that the dinner ended and it was time for dessert.

"It's cold but ice cream in winter is even more thrilling" Yixing smiled at Kyungsoo directly and Sehun licked his lips observing his brother and best friend, He bit onto his bottom lip to suppress a smile, Things were kinda interesting.

Kyungsoo laughed mockingly, "Thrilling huh?" Yixing put a hand over his mouth before the other could even utter a word.

"I know you're gonna insult me, So just keep it to yourself, I had enough for today"

The group of boys laughed at the bickering pair and they all engaged in conversations, laughing at the funny stories thrown at each other's faces mostly Kyungsoo and Yixing.

Sehun was completely drained by the time their guests bid farewell, His eyes were on the verge of closing.

"I wish we would've talked more" Jongin smiled and waved, "I'll see you around at uni" He took a last look at Sehun and he was gone.

Sehun stared at the ceiling with a small smile playing on his lips, he was tired yet he was feeling relaxed.

Sehun fell asleep when his mind shut down and he had no will to fight against the exhausted state.

 

"Sehun! Don't forget to take your medicines honey" His mother reminded him from the kitchen and he sighed at how could he forget about it.

He swallowed them with water and started eating his bowl of cereals.

Yixing entered the kitchen with a grin as he took a seat across from Sehun.

"Good Morning, Sehun" Sehun looked up finally noticing Yixing's presence, "Morning" He murmured with a raspy voice, "Are you sick?" Yixing asked with a frown.

"Kinda" Sehun responds with a shrug, he passed his best friend a reassuring smile before continuing finishing his breakfast.

"Sehun, you ready?" Kyungsoo asked while struggling to wear a jacket.

"Yeah, Bye Mom, take care" Sehun cleared his throat, rubbing his throat now and then to ease the dryness.

Kyungsoo grabbed a toast on the way, back hugging his mother and kissed her side of the head as goodbye.

Sehun watched and wished he could do the same and not runaway from any creature who got even a foot closer to him.

Yet there are times where he initiate it, trying to overcome with the sensitivity of skin ship, He hasn't succeeded yet.

"Sehun" Yixing called out, waving a hand in front of his face to gain the attention of the said person.

"Yeah, let's go" Sehun whispered absentmindedly and dashed out of the house in hurry, "I'm really worried about him now, He freaking fainted last time mother! I'm not willing to leave him alone" Kyungsoo started his protective brother speech, shaking his head like he was totally against it.

"In case you're forgetting, I'm there too and never once do we separate to even talk about this, There are classes where we're not together but they're way too close that we can even see each other through windows, So stop this nonsense, It's for his future and he needs to overcome it" Yixing argued back, panting as he lectured the shorter about this in one go.

"He has to fight it, For his sake, For our sake" Yixing mumbled convincing himself that Sehun can do it cause none can see him the way he is right now, He wants to be better and Sehun will be better.

"Time's running out, We should go before we're late" Yixing reminded Kyungsoo, patting the boy's shoulder on the way making him come back to reality.

"Tell me if something goes wrong, You always solve on your own" Kyungsoo heard his mother ask him but he just nodded and walked out.

Sehun stared at his brother who was standing still with a hand on the door but not opening it, He chuckled softly before doing it himself.

"What are you waiting for, Hyung?" Sehun asked retreating back to his seat properly.

"Your neighbour, he likes her a lot" Yixing said out loud pointing to the house across from them.

Sehun rolled his eyes scoffing, "Really? I know Wh-ho hy-" He shut his eyes tightly lips pressed together, counting to 1 to 10 before starting again.

"I know Who hyung likes by the way" He finished then looked towards his brother then back at friend through the mirror.

The car became silent only the sound of engine roaring and they hit the road towards their destination.

Sehun glanced out the window as Kyungsoo made eye contact with Yixing through the mirror in panic.

They were talking through eyes when Sehun laughed and they stopped again pretending as it never happened.

"What's the point in hiding it?" Sehun asked leaning his head against the seat before turning it towards Kyungsoo.

"I know" he repeated again, "You guys aren't as good as you think at hiding things from me"

He shrugged before continuing, "Yixing I knew you wanted to become friends with me because you liked Kyungsoo hyung but I'm not doubting you now cause I know better and you wouldn't have been my best friend all this time, We sincerely became close through time" Sehun doesn't know where does this all courage to talk about this stuff came from but he was glad nonetheless.

Yixing opened his mouth then closed it again like he was lost of words, Kyungsoo didn't burst out cause he knew already.

"Why are you being like that now, I just said It doesn't matter anymore" Sehun murmured, his voice raspier and he just sighed again.

"I'm happy for you both" Sehun smiled which they both returned immediately, "So Why don't you just give it a go?" He asked, looking at them searching for an answer but they were quiet as they have been the whole ride.

His eyes widened when it hit him, the reason for the reluctance in their actions.

"Hyung, You can talk to mother, I'm sure she'll understand, that was a long time ago" Sehun encouraged, Yixing staring at Kyungsoo with hopeful eyes but the other was focused at only driving.

Minutes passed and then Sehun spoke which took Kyungsoo off guard and the car came to an abrupt stop.

"I'll talk to mom then" He croaked out staring at his brother whose eyes were wide in panic.

"No you won't, Sehun ah this isn't going to work out, I'm telling you, The last it happened I was done with that issue and considering mom, She would blame me again for making you take my side" He finished, breathe coming out in pants.

Sehun turned over to glance at Yixing but the boy was looking out the window glass at nothing in particular, He was angry and upset which were obvious.

So Sehun made up his mind, He isn't going to let them go through the two person who has loved and supported him no matter what and now it's his turn to pay back.

Sehun thinks, It's not even close to what they've done for him all this time but they deserve to live happily and go on.

"I don't care what the outcome will be but I'm going to do it, And that is it" Sehun voiced his thoughts, Yixing shook his head opening his mouth but Sehun beats him to it, "I have made my mind up and I won't turn back"

"Only 5 minutes left till classes start, Library opens even before that, We should hurry, Hyung" He changed the subject adjusting back into his seat, moving his head towards the window so they can say nothing.

"You're stubborn" Kyungsoo muttered and Sehun huffed out a laugh, wetting his lips in process to speak "You're telling me" he hiccups before rubbing his throat frowning.

Yixing at last giggled giving his best friend a genuinely wide smile, "You are so cute" He said.

"Hey, Just make up your mind, Me or Sehunnie?" The three boys broke out in laughter, the once tense atmosphere light and frank again.

 

"Sehun ah, have you noticed that from a year your speech problem has gone better?" Yixing distracted Sehun from digging his nails into his palms from anxiety cause they were heading to their first class now.

"The Doctor cleared that," Sehun started, holding his bag strap tightly, watching his steps carefully, walking at a distance from everybody not risking making contact whatsoever "if I'm nervous or scared, I get trouble while talking and when I'm relaxed and comfortable, I talk normal like you all" The 'like you all' hits Yixing more than it should.

He doesn't want Sehun thinking that he's anyway different, Like he's not normal but he knows now isn't the time to throw it away in the air.

"Can you like come over to the dance practice room? We will head home together then, Mother said she'll coming back tomorrow night so I'll go back to my apartment in the morning"

Yixing stayed with them for two days because his mother was visiting back home in China, he can take care of himself but it was an excuse to spend more time with Kyungsoo.

"Sure, I can" They stopped at Yixing's class, Sehun not moving an inch.

"Sehun ah, Your class is right across" Yixing reminded him watching his best friend with a confused look.

"Yeah, I believe so" Sehun answered standing still, he shrugged moments later stepping back, "I'll just go?" It came out more like a question than a statement.

"Sehun, what's wrong?" Yixing followed Sehun's steps but was stopped once the teacher came by.

"I'm Okay, you attend your class, I'm going too" Sehun entered the room but Yixing can't see him anymore, Damn the glass door which showed only his reflection back and not the people inside.

Jongin ran into Yixing, both landing on the floor together, "Dude, What the hell?" Yixing exclaimed rubbing his thigh, "Woah, Seriously what the hell?" He watched Jongin with a concerned look but the other was already standing up, picking up his belongings.

"I got in a fight" He mumbled pointing to his busted lip and a scratched cheek with dried blood on it, "Did someone cut you?" Yixing asked horrified.

Jongin shrugs, "Kinda" he was avoiding talking about it Yixing can tell but it seems very serious.

"The class already started?" Jongin frowned, the voice of the teacher delivering the lecture echoing as they were just by the door.

"It was Mr Lee's class, There's no way he could let us in now" Yixing groaned rubbing his face in stress, "So we're just skipping it?" He asked when Jongin turned around ready to walk away.

"We got another choice?" Jongin asked back with a raised eyebrow, "Not really" Yixing walked along beside Jongin, trying to catch a glimpse of Sehun from the door of the next room and he did.

Sehun was looking out of the window at the very last bench and something irked inside Yixing, Sehun is always attentive during lectures.

"What is it?" Jongin followed Yixing's gaze and he spotted Sehun, Red suits him, Jongin wondered.

"We should head to the cafeteria" He got Yixing's attention and dragged him away, more like himself cause at last he stole a glance at Sehun again.

"What's wrong with Sehun?" Jongin blurted out, he shook his head immediately, arranging the suitable words inside his mind, he tried again, "I mean, is there any problem with Sehun?" This doesn't sound any better but Jongin still said it.

"Not really" Yixing tapped the coffee cup in his hand, Jongin gave him a non convinced look but didn't pressed further.

"Okay fine" Yixing sighed, taking off his beanie then started, "Sehun is an OCD patient and it isn't that light of a situation cause it's serious enough that you can't touch him without him flinching back or sitting further away" He looked at Jongin who was staring at him with an unreadable expression because it was somehow blank.

"He has set everything in order, How to manage the clothes, books, Checking his phone, They're all set to a order and how to do them properly and if it doesn't go well, He gets frustrated and annoyed, Even panic attacks when it gets out of hand" Yixing explained and the once slightly doubted statement became right.

Chanyeol was lying all along.

"I've kinda knew about these kind of things, I've um psychology as a minor" Jongin paused, everything flashes in his mind pinpointing the certain behavior of Oh Sehun,

"Don't mind it but he always seemed out of place and I kinda got the slightest idea that he might be a victim of this particular disorder"

Yixing silently nodded, He knows Sehun seems very normal but he doesn't dissolve within the outside world, he can't walk along with a crowd, He would distant himself as much as he could.

"Is he that obvious?" Yixing pondered over the thought that Jongin only have met Sehun once and he had noticed several things which Yixing only gathered when Sehun confessed about his situation.

"No, he isn't, I'm just very observant" Jongin answered, messing up his hair and slouched in the chair.

"Did you observed all that just the other day?" Even though Jongin is good enough at observation, he can't sum up this thought just in one meeting and neither did Yixing noticed Jongin and Sehun talking other than exchanging few formal words.

Jongin paused, pressing his lips together, choosing his next words carefully.

"I've been watching him lately" Jongin cursed under his breath, closing his eyes in frustration at what he blurted out, "It's not like that, I'm not a stalker or something" Jongin clearer watching Yixing's reaction closely who was just politely smiling all along.

"I understand, Don't sweat it" Jongin smiled but inside he just wanted to bang his head against the table, "Do you like want to get close to Sehun?"

Yixing's question caught Jongin off guard which was pretty obvious considering Jongin's reaction.

"What? Why are you so surprised? I'm not that observant like you but I guess I can pretty much get the idea ya know" Yixing pointed to Jongin, "And don't take it the wrong way" his tone changed to somewhat serious and Jongin really had the urge to smirk but he held it in.

"I didn't" He replied in the same tone as Yixing, "His brother doesn't like me" Jongin whispered shrugging.

"He doesn't like anyone" Yixing scoffed rolling his eyes at the mention of his very own Kyungsoo.

"Not even you?" Jongin asked in fake shock, he huffed out a laugh as Yixing stared at him wide eyed.

"What? Why are you so surprised? I told you I'm heedful enough" Jongin murmured, "Don't take it the wrong way though" He sat back with a self satisfied smirk on his face.

"It's not like that, He's a confused little jerk" Yixing gritted his teeth and Jongin only listened sipping his coke with a straw.

"Whom you're in love with" Jongin finalised and Yixing rolled his eyes again.

"You can put it that way I guess" Yixing spoke in a hushed tone, all of a sudden his mood down and Jongin sighed.

"Does he like lead you on and then pretends to be innocent?" Jongin moved forward, resting his arms on the table waiting for his friend's answer with a titled head.

"Not really, It's just a complicated case, Half of the time even I myself don't know where it is heading or where it will land" Yixing replied, a depressed look overcoming his neutral expression.

"I can just hope it goes well or you get what's best for you" Jongin passed him a genuine smile and Yixing shrugged returning it back.

"I don't know"

 

The teacher finished the lecture, everyone packing their stuff to head to the cafeteria, Sehun slowly put his belongings in his bag before slinging it onto his shoulder.

Sehun stopped midway when he spotted the very person he most want to ignore and runaway from, Chanyeol.

Sehun has never walked so fast in his entire life, He just want to made it to the cafeteria as soon as he can, his heart beating so fast that he was afraid it might breakout from the ribcage.

"Yixing..." He whispered under his breath when his eyes landed on his said best friend but he wasn't alone, Jongin was with him, They were talking about something intently.

Sehun reluctantly approached their table and for some reason he had the urge to runaway again but it was too late, Jongin already caught him coming their way, He smiled softly and Sehun stopped midway before walking again trying not to make a fool of himself.

"Sehun ah" Yixing called him but his tone was worrying, Sehun took his seat at the side, facing Jongin and Yixing, left and right.

"What's wrong?" Sehun asked, his voice wavering but he had no mind to pay attention to it, he was worried for Yixing.

When he got no answer, he turned to Jongin who was surprisingly already staring at him, when he realized he was caught, Jongin laughed without any reason.

Sehun huffed out a laugh as well finding Jongin's laughter quite endearing, Yixing raised an eyebrow at both of them.

"Wow, Now you're laughing at me too, Well guess what? Your brother is such a jerk that he had made me lose my freaking brain" Yixing complained to Sehun who seriously listened to him.

"Did you even had a brain in the first place?" Jongin murmured but loud enough that the two gentleman present at the table heard him clearly.

Sehun bit his lower lip suppressing the smile as Yixing scoffed standing up, "Hey, Sit down, Don't get so grumpy, Show this attitude to that jerk of yours" Jongin adviced and Sehun narrowed his eyes at both of them.

"Watch your mouth, both of you, This is my brother you're talking about" He sighed watching Yixing, "I understand your situation, I really do but this isn't hyung's fault either, Mother has a issue with this kind of stuff" He motioned his hand towards Jongin and Yixing.

They gave Sehun a perplexed gaze and he swallowed nervously, "She's not supportive over same gender relations" He finally freed the cat out of the bag.

Yixing groaned holding his head while resting his elbows on the table, "Shit" he cursed, mumbling some other under his breath.

"You should've said it sooner or he should have told me" Yixing spat but it was like he was talking to himself, "All this while I was putting the entire blame on him when he was just..." He took a deep breath burying his face in his arms.

"I'm sorry" Sehun gasped out, watching his best friend in the depressing state, he averted his gaze to Jongin but he was staring at him with a sad gaze.

Sehun licked his lips, opening his mouth but only let out a breath, "I'm so sorry, I didn't wanted to hide it, I would've told you sooner" He apologized to Yixing then looked back at Jongin.

"I really would have, I swear, It's not like I kept it on purpose, We just discussed it this morning and how would I have" He blabblered, lips quivering but he bit his lip to prevent it.

"Sehun!" Yixing called him firmly, "I'm not blaming it on you, I didn't meant it that way, God! It isn't even your fault to begin with, You had nothing to do with this, It was our stupidity"

Sehun tucked on his hair lightly panting a little, "It isn't stupidity, You can't call it that and you wouldn't end this" He warned Yixing cause he just had the feeling that his best friend might does this to his brother to prevent from any kind of trouble, that's just how Yixing was.

"What's going on?" Jongin mumbled, "I have no clue" Yixing answered Jongin resting his cheek on his palm, staring at them with a tilted head.

"Let's just stop talking about this, I'm sure we can sort it out later" Looking at him, His best friend knew he wasn't alright but Sehun decides to let it slide for now.

 

× - × - ×

 

"Will you shut up? Both of you?" Jongin snapped, glaring at the road but mostly at his friends who were singing at the top of their lungs in the backseat.

"One day, I'm gonna be said deaf because of you guys, You are the main cause of noise pollution" Jongin rolled his eyes clearly annoyed by both Baekhyun and Chen.

"Okay, okay, Calm down drama queen" Chen said in a whiny tone making Baekhyun snicker while Jongin paid attention to the road.

"So, Is Chanyeol gonna hang out with us today?" Baekhyun asked Jongin who didn't respond and Chen shrugged bobbing his head along to the beat playing in the background.

"What does it mean?" Jongin grit his teeth and glanced at Baekhyun from the rear view mirror, "That means, We're fortunate enough to not be able to encounter his face once again" Jongin spat, unintentionally speeding the car, They took a sudden jump at the speed breaker and Chen screamed.

"I treasure my life, Stop getting me killed every single time, You ungrateful piece of Bumblebee" Chen blabbered trying to calm his hammering heart, Jongin let out a loud laugh before starting the engine again.

"Somebody's got a crush on Chan?" Chen nudged Baekhyun in a singsong voice, He gets a slap right across the face in return.

"I'll push you out of the car, Your treasured life will be taken away, So keep your mouth close" Baekhyun whispered in an angry tone, throwing daggers at Chen who just whistled, wiggling his eyebrows,

"You got some anger issues" He commented and Baekhyun saw Jongin giving him a brief stare before he looks away from the mirror.

"I swear, If any of you are grumpy at this gathering, Just say so now and end it, I don't want to deal with anyone's depressing bull" Chen gave Baekhyun and Jongin a glare before starting to dance to the song again.

Jongin and Baekhyun stared at their friend and Jongin had a conflict in his mind at the choices of his companions.

"He might show up, I don't know" Jongin at last muttered, mostly telling Baekhyun who just nodded.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Baekhyun asked and Jongin ignored him, Chen stopped his own little party at the tense atmosphere and just listened quietly.

"Why can't you answer that!?" Baekhyun pressed further and Jongin chuckled bitterly, "I believe, It's none of your business, Baek" He stopped the car at their destination and got out faster than the other two.

"You're acting like a total douche" Baekhyun shot back closing the car's door harshly, "What is your problem with Chanyeol?"

"What's with you, huh? I hate him, my choice, Okay? Stop wasting your time on the real douche, I hope you end up crushing those feelings before it's too late, I'm warning you, Baek but I know you won't listen" Jongin snapped, Baekhyun stood there in the middle of the entrance with a distressed look, Chen was behind him, watching the situation getting enfold.

"I don't want to talk about it, I hope you understand, It's not like I'm holding you back from hanging around him, You can do as you please but do not expect me to be nice towards your one-sided crush" Jongin realized, his words being too harsh but he had to say it one way or another.

"What the heck?" Chen exclaimed, overwhelmed by the newly shared information.

"Nothing" Jongin whispered, turning back to enter the house, It was quiet but then he heard his friend's voice.

Yixing was already there with his brothers, Chen followed behind him giving Jongin a pat on the back before joining the others.

 

They end up playing games on the Xbox, Some just too busy to take care of their empty stomach, They were having fun nonetheless, if you ask Jongin.

Baekhyun let that talk go and understood that Jongin wants to keep it to himself, he was back to his self again.

Until Chanyeol appeared, they could tell that he was furious and he had new bruises on his face.

"You got into a fight, again?" Jongin heard his brother, Minseok ask Chanyeol in a concerned voice, Jongin scoffed giving his attention back to the game.

"That bastard" Chanyeol whispered in a low voice, "Him? Which bastard?" Chen asked munching on his snacks placed on his lap.

Chanyeol ignored Chen and dashed out towards his room, closing the door with a loud bang.

"What's he doing?" Baekhyun whispered, asking Minseok who was just staring into space.

"What's happening now, Jongin?" Minseok grit his teeth watching his brother raise his eyebrows in question.

"How the hell would I know?"

Junmyeon sighed rubbing his temples, "He just glared at you on the way, Like he wants to punch you, You still don't know?" He can tell that his brother was really annoyed.

Jongin huffed out a bitter laugh, "Fantastic, Go blame it all on me, It's his freaking problem, Whatever the hell he does I don't care! Yeah we fought at school today? So what! It's not like I was the one starting trouble" He raised his voice, eyes narrowed watching his brothers.

"Let me clear this to you, Step or what, He's not even a brother to me, He isn't my family, I could care less over what he does" Jongin spat throwing the remote control on the couch, silence enveloped the room.

"Are you even in the right state of your mind? He's our brother, stop being a baby and move on, Everyone makes mistakes, You don't just cling onto them and hold grudges" Junmyeon said, trying to make Jongin understand but that probably just end up adding fuel to the fire.

"Hold grudges? Do you even know the whole thing? You just believed whatever that douche fed you, You know what? Go comfort your freaking brother, I'm out" Jongin choked out, holding back his tears, He glared at Junmyeon before dashing out of the house, He can hear footsteps following him, He turned to find Yixing.

What hurt him the most that none of his best friends came after him, He smiled bitterly at Yixing, He knew it would happen once Chanyeol was introduced to his friends.

"What are you doing here?" Jongin asked.

"You need to calm down, I thought I could help, You definitely need someone right now" Jongin really wants to disagree, Straight up tell Yixing he's talking rubbish but he knew he was right.

"It's okay, Let's walk" Yixing showed his dimpled smile, standing next to Jongin who reluctantly took steps forward.

"That was one hell of a family conflict" Yixing commented trying to get the mood lighter.

"Yeah, I know, I'm not really a loved one in my family, More like a black sheep" Jongin shrugged like he didn't care yet the look on his face shows anything but that.

"I don't have any clue about what's going on with you guys but I'm really sorry" Jongin know people can only feel sorry for him and it irks him a lot.

"Don't be, I'm used to this"

They walked around for a while, talking about everything which eases the tension, Jongin turned to Yixing giving him a sincere smile, "Thank you" Yixing shook his head grabbing Jongin's hand, pulling him in for a hug.

"You're not alone" Yixing whispered, Jongin's eyes widened as the other held him tightly, "I haven't seen Sehun getting relaxed around anyone else before but yesterday at the cafeteria, He was good and he wasn't even stammering that much like he usually does around others"

He pulled away holding Jongin's shoulders, "It's a good sign, Jongin ah, I'm not sure about this but I have the slightest idea about it, Go for it" Yixing winked at him making Jongin freeze.

"But we don't even know each other that much...it hasn't even been a lot of time either..." Yixing raised his eyebrows, a frown evident on his face, "Conclusion is that I'm right" 

"Does time matters? It's all about your feelings towards that one person, It takes time to figure out and whatever, it's just mere waste, Your feelings would still be the same a week earlier than after, You just have to be sure, right?"

Yixing advised shrugging, "the first time I saw Kyungsoo, I was like scared to talk to him, he was intimidating but once Sehun introduced him to me as his friend, He was so welcoming and it was so endearing to me" Yixing told Jongin smiling in his thoughts.

Jongin watched him with an amused look too, "That moment I knew I was attracted to him, The time is only wanted to know the person, get closer to them"

"Who knows the two weeks love will be more strong and deeper yet last longer than the love of two years..." Yixing trailed off tilting his head, "I just want Sehun ah to be happy and you too, You both fit" Yixing laughed clicking his toungue, "Or so I think" he said in a hushed tone, a smirk playing on his lips.

Jongin let out a breathy chuckle nodding his head, "You're right" He bit his lip, "I really like him" He smiled, It feels good revealing it.

"I like Sehun"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the late update, I promise to post the rest chapters sooner, Please show your support if you like it, Would mean a lot, I hope you enjoy reading it, Thank you.
> 
> The next one will be the revelation of problem with Sehun considering Chanyeol.
> 
> All the love, Amy


	3. Stay

His fingertips lingered on Sehun's arm, The boy flinching at the touch with a whimper, hiding himself further into the corner.

"Please" He pleaded eyes shut tightly, "Let me go" He gasped, he felt like someone was choking him, he panted parting his lips to inhale but the contraction in his lungs made it harder, Sehun felt his eyes watering.

"Shh shh Deep breaths, my love, In and out" His voice sickenly sweet and Sehun just wanted to escape.

"What do you want?" Sehun loathes himself for letting his voice come out so vulnerable but he couldn't help it, In real that's as he was, so fragile and frail.

"How can you be so ignorant, sweetheart? haven't I been making it so crystalline obvious about my interest in you?" Chanyeol raised his eyebrows in an amused manner observing as Sehun's face color went even paler.

"You're interested in me?" Sehun shuddered, Chanyeol's hands moved further down from Sehun's side to his waist, He nodded with a smirk playing on his lips.

"So innocent" He whispered under his breath, The tone making his voice sound even deeper, "Your face, your hands," He grabbed Sehun's hands before he could withdraw, interlacing their fingers together watching their joined hands with a soft smile.

Sehun felt dazed, surviving from all the skin contact and he would give himself the credit on not passing out yet, With half lidded eyes he leaned his head against the wall panting, "You look so beautiful" Chanyeol titled his head staring at Sehun with a mesmerized gaze.

"Aren't I so lucky, Sehun ah?" Chanyeol squeezed his hand with a gentle smile, At the lack of response Sehun felt him pressuring on his hand, squeezing it much harder to force out a cry from him.

"There, It's better, Let me hear your soothing voice and sounds, You aren't mute, right my love? So do it for me" Putting Sehun's fingertips on his lips, he gave it a light kiss before pressing his lips on Sehun's palm.

Tears streamed down Sehun's face like a waterfall, He felt weak his knees about to give up yet Chanyeol snaked an arm around his middle to steady him but that just made the situation worse.

"I'm begging you," Sehun sobbed, "Please, Let me go" He pleaded, lips quivering as he looked at Chanyeol with tear filled yet expectant eyes.

"I swear I won't tell anybody about this" Sehun nodded reassuring Chanyeol but the said boy only watched the other, suppressing a smile biting the inside of his cheeks, "Wait, I'll forget about this, We can even be friends" Sehun let out breathless.

Chanyeol lost it and broke into laughter, "Aw, Such a innocent cutie you are," He pouted mocking Sehun's quivering lips, "Sehun, Sehun, Sehun" He chanted with closed eyes, "God, I even love your name so much"

"I reject the offer, Oh Sehun, I don't want to be your friend, Little one" He leaned in and hushed like it was a top secret "The friends shit won't do me any good" He winked flashing a playful smile.

It all seemed like a game to him but such an addicting one at that.

"And about telling someone, That's if I'll let you huh" Twirling a strand of hair on his finger, He placed it behind Sehun's ear leaning in even closer.

Without any warning, He placed his lips onto Sehun, The younger finally fought back but the rough hand pushed him back further onto the wall, Sehun wasn't breathing, He was in shock.

When Chanyeol let their lips part, Sehun took a choked breath dropping to his knees, Eyes still wide and tears running without any resistance.

Chanyeol gulped kneeling down himself, "Sehun.." He called in panic but the said boy remained frozen, He let out a pained sob hand clutching onto his heart.

He pressed his lips together whimpering, Leaning against the wall thrashing his legs, Sehun couldn't breath.

The sound of choked breathes coming out from his throat became loud, Chanyeol stood up taking his leave watching Sehun with worry but he eventually dashed out not wanting to get in trouble.

Sehun started hitting his chest with fists, mostly the side of his heart, He constantly shook his head, Lips parted for air.

He felt as if getting swallowed, slowly and slowly the darkness engulfing him, Dark shadows appearing in front of his eyes.

The view of the classroom eventually disappeared and Sehun gasped.

 

He panted watching his surroundings, His room and he was on the bed, Sehun looked down seeing the duvet covered his lower part and he was in night clothes.

A nightmare of that horrible day.

He watched Kyungsoo and Yixing with a blank look, Still overwhelmed by the events he once again saw and felt.

Sehun flinched when he sensed a hand on his arm but turned out it was only his own.

"Are you okay, Sehun ah?" Yixing asked cause Kyungsoo looked like he was in the same condition as his baby brother, Shocked.

He reached out for the jug filling himself a glass of water, Eyes going back to his Hyung who was already staring at him.

He drank two glasses in one go and cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair.

"I guess, I am okay now" He replied but to Kyungsoo mostly.

"You should rest, Go back to sl-.." Before Yixing could finish his sentence, "No" Sehun begged, shaking his head numerous times.

Both Kyungsoo and Yixing seemed equally shocked by the joined hands he was showing, Sehun dropped himself against the bed curling into a ball, fisting his hair in his hands.

"Can you guys leave for a minute? I don't want to be seen this pathetic" Kyungsoo swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding slightly.

He wanted to tell the younger that he's not pathetic at all but left it at that cause it won't make any difference.

Yixing was about to argue when Kyungsoo grabbed his arm and dragged him out of Sehun's room, He closed the door but stay pressed to it.

Soon enough, They heard it, Sehun's cries, Kyungsoo pressed his lips together from making any sound but the tears brimming in his eyes failed it.

Yixing pulled Kyungsoo towards him rubbing his back up and down to relax him.

But the mere thought that His younger brother is inside crying his heart out alone over something he doesn't know and none can hold him, lacerate him.

So, Both brothers end up sobbing, lightning their heaving hearts.

 

Jongin knew that it's the first ever he's so eager to go to university and see certain someone.

He even dressed quite nicely, Sehun always appear very clean and Jongin took an extra 10 minutes in shower than usual.

He put on a plain black T-shirt with a dark blue sweater which was slightly loose with black skinny jeans, He ruffled his hair and whistled staring at himself in the mirror.

He knows, he looks hot but this is for Sehun, He doesn't know when that tiny crush turned into something so big that all he can think about is that feeling these days but he's quite a master at hiding his emotions.

Yet he doesn't think there's a reason to now, If anything It's time to show.

He slung his bag around the shoulder walking out of his apartment carefully checking the locker twice then made his way to the parking lot, He jumped on his bike wearing the helmet and took off.

Kim Jongin is a simple yet an interesting guy, He does what he likes not giving a second thought over what other's opinion on him are, He lives for himself not for the society.

He doesn't have a great relationship with his family, He's a black sheep more likely but he loves his brothers without asking for anything in return, Not even attention.

One thing he's quite fond of, love.

He's a romantic guy, Almost all of his friends have seek for his ideas on their dates but Jongin himself hasn't gone to any lately.

He was a mama's boy from birth and even still he would call himself that proudly in front of his Mother's picture.

She died when Jongin was only thirteen, The mere thought cause him sorrow, She became mentally disturbed and a patient of depression when she got to know about her husband's affair with his now stepmother, Park Eun.

That comes along, Park Chanyeol, His so called Stepbrother.

It's not like Jongin hated him from the start, He admits Chanyeol wasn't in his good books when his father got married again but slowly he got along.

Until One day, He got to know the real Park Chanyeol, The guy Jongin loathes.

Jongin took a turn and hit the brakes, The building of the university standing ahead, He got out running his hand through his hair, He saw Chanyeol at the other side leaning against his car.

Jongin clicked his tongue, "Show off" He muttered under his breath, he kept walking until he sensed someone walking along with him.

He glanced over his side and found Sehun, It was a surprise, Jongin breathed out a chuckle licking his lips before turning to Sehun again.

Sehun had his bag slung over his shoulder loosely, His grey hoodie's hood pulled over his head, Long hair covering his eyes and his gaze was fixated on the floor.

Jongin watched Chanyeol making his way over as he frowned and Jongin noticed Sehun flinch a little before stepping even closer to Jongin, If it was any other situation he would've been grinning from ear to ear but this was something worrisome.

"Hi Jongin" Sehun whispered when he found Jongin staring at him, "Hey Sehun" They both continued their eye contact and he sensed the fear emitting from his eyes.

"Are you oka-.." Sehun gasped before Jongin could finish and right now, he was behind him all the way like he was seeking protection.

He glanced towards Chanyeol who was couple of steps closer now and Jongin gritted his teeth before standing behind Sehun, "I'll be at the back, It's okay" Jongin said softly, flashing a sweet smile which got Sehun bashfully looking away.

He kept track of Chanyeol from the corner of his eye and Jongin's curiosity grew even more.

Just what exactly is the deal?

Jongin dropped Sehun at his locker with him constantly apologizing and requesting to even hold Jongin's bag because he wanted to repay the favor.

"Thank you so much, Jongin" Sehun said once again and Jongin turned around with a smirk.

"For what, Sehun?" He finally asked and Sehun was tongue twisted.

He licked his lips, tightening the grip on his bag's strap, "For dropping me here, Yixing is absent and I only saw you, whom I knew, Kinda," He added making Jongin smile, "I get anxious around a bunch of people, Thank you for willingly accompanying me" Sehun finished with a few stutters but a genuine smile.

"That's not necessary at all" A thought eventually came on his mind, "Can we have lunch together today, I mean like we had the last week excluding Yixing now?" He waited, he knew that was pretty straightforward and the thumping of his heart didn't help him relax one bit.

Sehun was still thinking and Jongin took matter in his own hands getting that probably Sehun doesn't want to sound rude rejecting the offer.

"Okay" Sehun replied quietly with a soft voice, "Huh?" Jongin involuntarily let out and bit his lip, Mentally rolling his eyes at himself at how dumb he must've looked.

"I said, Okay...Lunch together" Sehun cleared his throat, A faint pink shade on his cheeks making him look even more innocent, Jongin thought he is screwed.

 

Jongin set his tray on the seat, They were on the bleachers away from the crowd or noise, He watched Sehun unwrap his sandwich taking a bite before looking up at Jongin, Already finding his eyes on him.

"Do you want this?" Sehun asked pointing to his sandwich and Jongin chuckled shaking his head, "No, I got mine, I was just surprised that you agreed to have lunch with me, You're quiet distant all the time"

Sehun knew he wasn't really accusing him of being an outcast, Even he himself was kind of taken aback to agree to the offer but he wasn't regretting the decision whatsoever.

"I'm sorry for being a bore, though"

"Nah, We just really are having lunch" Jongin shrugged, sipping his juice making Sehun smile.

"I don't like this flavor" Sehun pointed to the juice box in Jongin's hand, "Seems like you're trying it for the first time too" He assumed tilting his head as he watched Jongin scrunch his nose at the taste.

"God, Why do I always make mistakes at choosing stuff?" He fake gagged, Sehun laughed pushing his banana shake towards Jongin, "Here, try this, Kyungsoo hyung made it and It's my favorite"

Saying that Jongin was on cloud nine would be an understatement.

"Are you sure?" Jongin asked, Sehun nodded, "All yours"

 

"Sehun?" Jongin called.

"Hm?" Sehun hummed turning around.

You're so beautiful, Jongin intend on saying.

"Be my friend" The words seem more like a demand yet Jongin's soft voice makes it sound like almost a plea.

"Aren't we already?" Sehun smiled, showing pearly white teeth seeing Jongin's speechless expression, "I shared my banana shake with you, I don't do that often"

"So, We are friends now, Completely sure?" He asked Sehun pointing his index finger towards him.

"Completely sure" Sehun mimicked his actions, Jongin tried to suppress his smile drawing his finger back and he sighed happily.

"Thank you" Sehun murmured, A happy yet sad look on his face, He was so easy to read that it made Jongin worry.

"What for?" Jongin whispered back.

"I just felt like saying it to you" Sehun shrugged, licking his lips in nervousness before turning back to enter the classroom.

 

"Do you like reading?" They were sitting across from each other in the cafeteria, Only few students present there while the others already busy with the sudden event's preparation which neither of the said boys cared about.

"I do, I'm not a big fan but I enjoy it from time to time" Jongin answered, Sehun hummed, His fingernails burying onto his palm without him knowing, Jongin worriedly tap the table to gain Sehun's attention who was spacing out by now.

Sehun diverted his entire attention to Jongin and on the cue his gaze fell onto his hands, Sehun swallowed closing his eyes, He opened them seeing Jongin's concerned ones.

Sehun breathed out a laugh, "I..." He trailed off at loss of words, a huge lump formed in his throat, In result to keep him talking.

"It's okay, Relax" Jongin murmured cause right about now, It occurred to him that Sehun couldn't be taken care of like others, Not held like them, Not comforted like them.

Just how would he be able to calm Sehun if something happens, God forbid but that is a possibility.

It's crystal that Jongin does not know Sehun like he would want to.

"I'm really happy, Jongin" Sehun eventually broke the silence between them, Jongin didn't even realized they both just sat there spacing out.

"I finally have a friend apart from Yixing, Honestly he just counts as my brother" Sehun started, Jongin sensed the shiver in his voice but listened attentively.

"I'm actually a talkative person" Jongin's eyes widened, Sehun titled his head taking in Jongin's reaction, A faint smile playing on his lips, "Shocking?" He questioned, Jongin nodded.

"If I end up talking a lot, Telling you about every single thing or describing a certain visit or stuff, Get the idea that we're close" Jongin nodded excitedly, "I really hope it happens sooner then"

"Same goes here" Sehun murmured nodding along, His hands were joined, Fingers pressing together, Closing his eyes now and then, He even blinks a lot.

"Don't be nervous, Sehun" Jongin started, "Act like you do with Yixing"

Sehun chuckled covering his face, "Do you want to be a part of my brothers squad?" Jongin sent him a questioning gaze to which Sehun explained further, "Like Kyungsoo Hyung, Yixing is like my another brother, If I act like how I do with them, Are you willing to join them being a brotherly figure to me?" Sehun smiled.

Jongin felt like his soul almost left his body, Oh God Forbid.

"No way" Jongin exclaimed shaking his head repeatedly, "As a best friend, Just like that, I want us to grow close and do stuff which we both are fond of, You can't do that with a brother cause they would be very cautious but I would want you to cope with it" He paused glancing at Sehun who was watching him with a admiring look, "with me, Using my help"

Jongin smiled genuinely, He didn't wanted to mess that up, Didn't wanna seem like a fool jumping up and yelling at Sehun to never look at him as a brother, He thinks he pulled that off decently.

"Woah" The words left Sehun's mouth before he could stop them, "You are a very nice person, Jongin"

Jongin doesn't think he is.

 

"Yixing and Kyungsoo hyung, They both are very protective over me" Sehun told Jongin which was crystal clear to him, "And honestly I don't mind it, I'm used to it and I actually kinda like the attention" Sehun admitted with a shy smile, eyes downcast.

Jongin continued staring at him, too shameless to even divert his gaze once in a while, No, His eyes were only fixated on Sehun.

"Well then, Count me in too" Jongin said with a smirk.

"Okay, 3 people babying me, Thank you very much" Sehun hold out 3 fingers to show Jongin who just shrugged, smirk widening.

"Don't grow so protective over me, I'm asking you" Sehun said softly turning towards Jongin, stopping on his tracks in the middle of the parking lot, "I want to enjoy being a little, only a little reckless with you" Sehun finished, Jongin thought again that he was screwed, he is falling deeper for Oh Sehun at the speed of light.

"Don't worry, My recklessness would be your daily life things, Might even routine" Jongin promised himself that he would never ever be the reason for Sehun to look this vulnerable and sad, He wants to be the reason to make Sehun smile and even laugh cause Oh God just how much Jongin longs to hear that sound.

"But still protect me" Sehun bit his lip playfulness showing in his eyes but Jongin had made the oath already.

"And I'll protect you..." Sehun licked his lips, eyes on someone behind Jongin, "From Kyungsoo hyung" He giggled lightly, observing Jongin who still had to process the words in his mind.

"Shit, I forgot about him" Jongin cursed turning around to find Sehun's brother staring at him with hard eyes, Yixing standing at the other side of the car watching Sehun and Jongin with amusement.

Jongin phone dinged, he swiped to see the text.

Yixing :  
You're fast.

Looking up, he saw the other hiding his smirk.

"Why does he hate me?" Jongin asked Sehun who was making his way towards the car and offered him to come along.

"He doesn't hate you" Sehun murmured, "He just doesn't like you"

"That's a relief, Thank you Sehun" Jongin sarcastically bowed, "No need, You're welcome" Sehun bowed his head mimicking.

"Actually, Your first impression on him wasn't so good and he would take time to get over it, But don't worry he'll eventually come around" Sehun stammered in between but managed to finish what he wanted to say.

Jongin realized that he doesn't know Oh Sehun at all and He's more than glad to know him sincerely and not the outcast Sehun with a blank and distant aura.

 

Sehun couldn't describe the feeling of having somebody with a desire to be his friend and that somebody being the one and only Kim Jongin, The gorgeous guy Sehun met at the hallway.

But Sehun was sure that he's happy.

They made their way to the car and his brother was giving him a questioning glance, Sehun just flashed him an innocent smile.

"You already know them, But this is my brother, Kyungsoo" He told Jongin, who bowed his head in greeting to which Kyungsoo responded a few seconds later.

"And my friend, Jongin" Sehun introduced him newly and Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows but kept quiet.

"Uh..I'll just go, I've to get home too, Take care, Sehun" He glared at Yixing who was stifling a laugh and jogged back to his bike.

Jongin had this thought to just leave Kyungsoo be, He doesn't care if the brother doesn't like him but Kyungsoo seems to play quite a big role in Sehun's life,

That wouldn't be a wise choice, Jongin concluded.

 

"That guy is suspicious" Kyungsoo declared before even the car hit the road, Sehun turned towards him in his seat.

"No he's not, He's such a nice guy and the first one who was patient with me getting used to with someone new, Almost all the others left before I could even adjust declaring me as a freak just like you did now, with Jongin"

Sehun opened the water bottle, gulping the liquid to ease his drying throat, He said a lot in one sentence.

"See? he's got you, You're even fighting with me now" Kyungsoo huffed, eyes going back and forth between Sehun and the road.

"When did I, Hyung?" Sehun softly asked eyes wide.

"How can you resist this look?" Yixing asked from behind winking at Sehun who flashed him a small smirk.

"Shut up, both of you" Kyungsoo ended the talk, closing the deal.

Sehun sighed adjusting back into his seat, "Hyung" Sehun called to which Kyungsoo hummed as an answer, "He really isn't that bad" He whispered glancing at his brother from the corner of his eye.

Kyungsoo smiled nodding, "We'll see about that but right now, I trust you" Sehun smiled instantly, leaning back relaxed.

"You're such a drama queen, Kyungsoo" Yixing muttered, Sehun laughed nodding, His brother glared at him with no real heat.

 

It's been Three months to Sehun and Jongin's friendship and in the minimal time, They have gotten closer.

The routine Sehun had always laid out for himself has now included Jongin for everything, The pair know the time isn't far when they will address each other as best friends rather than good ones.

Jongin's thought over himself going too fast has now a steady pace considering Sehun, They settled on getting to know each other better then spending time together to taking Sehun out to hang around, The recklessness Sehun described.

The lack of communication in Sehun's behalf was the reason of people Judging him way too early and setting their perspective on him rather quick, Jongin was an exception.

Sehun often found himself thinking about Jongin on certain occasions in result of him spacing out and Kyungsoo worrying even more.

Sehun knows he feel something for Jongin, It's too crystal for him to identify when around his friend but he's terrified to admit it, His whole mind always close around the thought of just giving it a chance.

Sehun's phone buzzed, He washed his hands drying them off the towel, He reached out for his phone to receive a simple good evening text from Jongin.

A smile immediately appeared on his face, He sent the same text back walking out of his room.

His stomach growled in need of food, He skipped breakfast and lunch, a feeling of nausea engulfed him throughout the day, He slept it off with the help of sleeping pills.

He was engrossed in spreading nutella on his bread with a knife to notice Kyungsoo sitting down across from him with a dull expression.

Sehun placed the slice on the plate giving his entire attention to his brother, "What's wrong, Hyung?" Sehun asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I have decided to tell....mother" Kyungsoo sighed heavily, dropping his head onto his hands, "But I'm so scared, Sehun, I don't even know what to say"

"I...I'll be there, I wanted to talk to mom but you held me back saying we will do it together, So that's that, We will tell mother" Sehun let out shakily, pushing the plate aside, he continued "Do not be scared, She will understand, She's your mother, She loves you..." He trailed off, his own nerves getting to him.

Sehun shook his head, "Let's just do it..But what happened? why all of sudden?"

"Yixing and I had a fight, I might've told him that I don't care if he gets out of my life and that'd be a relief cause I don't have to say anything to mother then..." He choked out, gripping his hair before looking at his younger brother.

"But now that I think about it...I really can't imagine my life without Yixing..." Sehun sensed his brother wanted to say something more but he ended up burying his face in his arms, shoulders shaking.

Sehun took a deep breath, He knows he has to stay calm to confirm his older brother, He started counting in his head, fingers drumming on the table.

"I know, Hyung, I know..." Sehun reached out with trembling fingers, He tapped his brother arm, "Please, Look at me" He requested, hand stayed right there.

Kyungsoo looked up teary eyed, Once his eyes landed on Sehun's hand, His lips quivered but he sniffles putting his hand atop on Sehun's.

"I'll always support you, No matter what, You're the most important person in my life, God forbid but if she didn't accept it, Do not held back yourself like you did last time, This is about my best friend too and as much as I don't want mother to lose you, I won't be able to see you both losing one another, So promise me, You won't turn back on Yixing today"

Sehun quickly wiped the tear that dared to fall, He needs to be strong for Kyungsoo and Yixing like they always have, for him.

"Please" He pleaded and Kyungsoo nodded, now crying.

"I won't, I promise you" Kyungsoo shivered and Sehun tightened his grip over Kyungsoo's hand.

"Then, Let's do it" Sehun got up but Kyungsoo still held onto his hand stopping him, "Come on, Hyung, You have to, for Yixing, for yourself" Kyungsoo reluctantly released his brother's hand walking towards the living room.

 

"Sit down" Sehun mouthed to his brother who obliged and sat down across the couch, facing their mother.

She turned off the TV smiling at them but seeing the conflicted gazes and swollen eyes, She got even more attentive.

"How was your day?" Sehun started, Giving time to his brother to ease up, He took his seat beside Kyungsoo.

"It was good, It has become relaxing now that Eun is owning it" Sehun nodded along listening to whatever his mother has to say, keeping check on his brother from the corner of his eye.

"I have something to tell you, Mum" Kyungsoo finally said, at the nod of approval, he continued, "It's been a while, You already know the half of it from back then.."

Kyungsoo took a deep breath before lightly shrugging, "I'm gay" He pressed his lips together nodding, "It's just that" Sehun was afraid, He kept staring at his brother rather than his mother, "And...I'm in a relationship...With Yixing" He heard a gasp, Sehun closed his eyes.

"What are you saying...? Is this a joke...Are you both pranking me?" She repeatedly asked, Sehun finally dared to look up, She was crying but she looked furious.

"Oh God, I thought you got out of that damned phase" She whispered holding her head, "Why have you bring Sehun along, Do you want him to turn like you?" She spat and Kyungsoo shook his head.

"He has nothing to do with this, It's all me, That's just who I am, mother" Kyungsoo shakily muttered, Sehun just wanted to hug his brother.

Sehun heart was beating rapidly, Multiple possibilities running through his head, He doesn't want to think about it, His brother won't leave him, His mother will accept him, That's just his stupid mind.

"I don't even know what to say, That Yixing guy, He was always here cause of you? he used Sehun just to get to you, I can't believe" She stood up and Sehun flinched, hissing.

"It's not how you t-think, mother" Sehun stammered, biting his lip, Kyungsoo glared at him but he stood up no matter.

"They just want to be together, freely, Give him your blessings, That's all Hyung wants" Her eyes widened as she stared at Sehun and Kyungsoo back and forth.

"I think you may want to take your words back, Son" Sehun stood his ground looking at her right in the eye.

"I think not, I support my brother, There's not a single thing wrong about Yixing and Hyung being together-" He was interrupted by his mother hissing shaking her head.

"What have you done to him? What have you taught him, You know he's innocent" She let out with a hand on her head, "I would have expected it from you but not this, Just to get what you want you would put this crap in his mind" She gestured to Sehun who frowned.

"I'm not a child anymore, Mother, I have a mind of my own, I have my own perspectives too, Nobody has lulled me neither would I be"

"Dear, You can't even go along with this society, I don't want to scar your mind further with this nonsense" She gritted her teeth, her eyes landing on Kyungsoo, "We need to talk, Sehun honey, Go to your room"

Kyungsoo sent him a strained smile nodding, "Do as I say" His mother voice boomed, Sehun felt tears brimming in his eyes.

Just say something, You coward.

"No" He stated firmly, "I'm not going, I'm staying here" Sehun fisted his hand, nails digging onto his palm.

"What have you done?" She whispered with teary eyes, "He has done nothing" Sehun exclaimed lips quivering, "Just accept it" He insisted sniffling.

Kyungsoo had his head down, Like he was expecting all of this to happen, He knew his mother won't be able to grasp this information, He wouldn't be accepted, not by his mother.

"Where did I go wrong raising you?" Sehun stared at her in disbelief, Kyungsoo let out a broken sob, head still down like he was ashamed.

"End it" Their mother ordered.

"If not, You know the way to the door" Sehun felt his heart sank.

He shook his head aggressively, "No, no! what are you saying? you aren't thinking, mom, Just give it a thought, You need time, right? You have it, Just think it over" 

"Son, There's nothing to think about, This has happened before, I had my time, You had it too" She glared at Kyungsoo, "I'm still giving you this chance, End the thing with that boy and you" She turned to Sehun, "cut all the ties with him, He's no friend of yours, I've made myself clear"

Kyungsoo finally stood up wiping his tears, "If I turn my back on him now, I'll be breaking some promises, Mother" His voice was shaking but he eventually dared to look his mother in the eye.

"And I'll never be myself again, I don't want to live secretly or in fear, I made my decision" Sehun saw tears streaming down from his mother's eye but she was giving Kyungsoo a gaze of shame.

"You have to accept all of me or none of me" He finished, A heavy weight lifted off his chest but his brother beside was dazed, Sehun was feeling sick, This is worse than he imagined.

She moved forward, Running a hand through Kyungsoo's hair, "You've already made your choice, I see" She drew back her hand stepping away, "That's that then, You can go cause if you've chosen him over us, You can stay with him too"

She walked away slamming the door of her room loudly, Sehun flinched at the sound which bring him back to earth.

"This is not happening" Sehun's voice wavered, tears running down his face like waterfall and he let them flow.

Sehun ran towards his mother's door, "Mom! you can't do this" He sobbed banging on the door, "He's your son, You raised him, You can't just let him go now, Mother please" His palm went red but he was panicking, "I'm begging you"

 

"Sehun" Kyungsoo called from behind him, Sehun didn't dare to turn around.

"Come on now" He said softly, "At least, Give me a hug" Sehun covered his mouth with his hand quieting his sobs.

"You're not leaving, mother didn't mean that Hyung, Why are you being like this?" He turned around just to see his brother's face all red from crying.

"Come on" Kyungsoo opened his arms for Sehun who hesitantly made his way over, He wrapped his arms around his older brother's waist tightly, Burying his face in his hair.

Sehun broke down, He let it all out, He didn't care if his cries were too loud, He just couldn't bear it.

Kyungsoo watched Yixing finally enter but seeing Sehun, he quickly went out hiding his face.

Kyungsoo reluctantly released himself from Sehun's grip, "Take me with you, Please, I can't live here, What would I do without you?" He whispered holding onto his shirt from behind, Sehun was on his knees, Too emotionally overwhelmed.

"I have to, It's not like you'll be seeing the last of me, We're gonna meet everyday" Kyungsoo tried to sound cheerful, flashing his younger brother a bright smile which didn't reach his eyes.

"See you later, Sehun ah" Kyungsoo kissed the top of Sehun's head, staying still for seconds before drawing back almost running out.

Sehun followed after, "Please" He begged shaking his head repeatedly, Sehun saw as Yixing wiped his tears with his shirt's sleeve, "Man up, Sehunnie, Think of it as he just got married" He waved showing his dimpled smile to relax him but Sehun can't breath.

"Go inside, Sehun ah" Kyungsoo said opening Yixing's car door but didn't get in.

Sehun looked up at the sky, He was feeling pain, His brother is his half world, This can't be happening, He closed his eyes, biting his lip.

But probably, That's better for his brother, he can finally live the way he wants.

Not him there to bother Kyungsoo, He wouldn't have to worry 24/7 about him, He would finally think about himself too.

Probably, That's right even if it's not, For Sehun.

"Take care of him" He told Yixing soullessly, Face blank, Kyungsoo and Yixing watched him worriedly, His brother even stepped closer, "Sehun.." He called but Sehun was making his way back, more like dragging himself.

He shut the door looking around, Home has never seemed too lifeless and empty before.

He dragged his feet to his room dropping himself on the bed, Silent tears fell out landing on the mattress, He lost his energy from exhaustion and closed his eyes.

 

Sehun screamed startled awake, Another nightmare.

His skin had goosebumps, He shuddered, the sense of someone holding him.

Sehun panted, Even the sound of his breathing echoed in the room, Darkness outside but it was still early.

He was feeling numb all of sudden, nausea hit him hard as he ran to the washroom in time to empty his stomach.

He turned the shower knob, hot water making contact with his skin, It was fine at least he was feeling something.

The water turned cold moments later, Sehun was shivering but it was fine, At least he was feeling something.

He wants to harm himself, That's wrong he knows but it was fine, At least he would feel something, He stood there under the shower with a hand on the wall.

He heard his phone ringing several times just to turn silent again, He walked out of the shower totally drenched.

It was too quiet, He like silence, Why is it haunting him tonight?

"Mom" He called, No response.

"Mother" He yelled again shivering, He made his way downstairs, A note was attached to the fridge.

I went out, I will be late, Dinner is in the fridge, Rest well.

\- Mom.

He crushed the paper in his hand throwing it in the bin, Droplets of water were dripping from his clothes and hair, He was a mess.

On any other day, This would've panicked him, His nerves would've gotten the best of him but this isn't right today.

He tends to avoid mess yet Sehun is a mess himself.

He doesn't know what to do.

At these moments, His Brother is the pillar, Even just his existence bring Sehun at peace because he was there and now he isn't.

Sehun gulped, staring at his surroundings, Dark and empty, That's all he seems to see.

It was a bit too much, Too many emotions clashing at a time and Sehun isn't decent at managing them.

The risk of having a nervous breakdown is quite high and Sehun is scared.

He is always so scared.

He heard a knock at the main door, Sehun doesn't want to open it, He doesn't want to say anything especially to his mother if that's her.

But he dragged himself to stand in front of it still not opening, The bell rang echoing in the house and he unlocked the door in robotic manner.

"Oh my God, Sehun" He finally dared to look up, Jongin.

"What have you done to yourself?" He was almost yelling and Sehun wanted to close the door on his face.

"Why are you here?" He whispered, voice suddenly soft even though he was feeling otherwise.

"Kyungsoo called, He was worried sick, Now I see why..." Jongin's tone softened as he took in Sehun's state.

All wet from head to toe, Not even his shirt was buttoned properly, His hair dishvelled, nose and eyes slightly crimson, This wasn't Sehun, Nothing about his condition relaxed Jongin like he always is around his pale friend.

"I'm so tired, Jongin" Sehun said, Jongin closed his eyes while taking a deep breath, It was hard, Just seeing him like this, So broken.

Jongin didn't say anything, He wanted to hear.

He closed the door behind him when Sehun walked inside giving him room to enter.

Jongin also turned on the lights, Sehun let out a bitter chuckle, "This won't do any good" He referred to the lights and Jongin still remain quiet.

"Why did he c-call you? J-ust to see me being p-pathetic again?" He stuttered out, turning around to face Jongin, He was shivering and the other noticed.

"Let's get you in dry clothes, You may catch a cold"

"I don't want to" He refused straight forwardly.

"Jongin..." He choked out and Jongin loves when Sehun calls him by his name but not this way, Not this vulnerable.

"I feel numb" Sehun told, nodding, "Yeah, I feel nothing"

"Do you know, Mother kicked him out, Kyungsoo Hyung..." Sehun smiled, an empty one, He didn't know what he was doing at this point.

"I know, Sehun, I know.." Jongin said in a hushed tone moving forward but enough to keep some distance between himself and the pale boy.

"Yixing said he got married" He laughed, "I don't remember sending them off at their marriage to be this depressing"

"I just wanted her to let them be happy" Sehun paused stepping closer, "She would never understand" Jongin knew Sehun was referring to his mother.

Sehun's eyes brimmed with tears as he stared at Jongin, "I want to be happy too"

"I'll make you happy, I promise" Sehun's eyes glistened as a tear rolled down his cheek, "You mean that?"

"Every single word"

"Why?"

"Because...I care about you.."

Because I love you..

Sehun reached out his hand, it was shaking but Jongin kept his gaze straight at Sehun's eyes.

His fingers barely touched Jongin's cheek, hovering over it, "I like your face, It's beautiful" Sehun commented making Jongin smile.

"I like your face too"

Sehun finally cupped Jongin's face, his fingers cold but this is the first time Sehun has initiated skinship, Jongin couldn't be more happy.

They have just hugged once and it was Sehun too engrossed in his thoughts afterwards that Jongin never tried it again.

"I want to be free" He bit his lips suppressing his cry, "I don't want to feel this way, I don't know what is happening to me, I will do anything you say, just make this go away"

 

"I don't want to feel like this, Jongin do something" Sehun pleaded, grabbing Jongin's shirt tightly, "Make it stop, please" He shook Jongin, hiding his face in his chest.

This is not how Jongin imagined or wished to finally hug Sehun again, This is not how he wants it to be.

"Help me" Sehun shook him again but Jongin was frozen, His lips quivered and he wrapped his arms around Sehun who instantly tensed.

"Why is it me?" Jongin held Sehun like he was made of glass, He was as fragile as one in real, "HELP ME" He screamed, finally letting out a sob.

"Of course, How do you want me to help you, Say and I'll do it, Anything" Jongin voice broke but he ran his fingers through Sehun's silky raven hair.

"Help me" Sehun whispered again dropping to his knees, Jongin followed.

They both remained in the same position, Sehun in Jongin's arms as he rubbed his back lulling him to sleep.

 

"Will you stay?" Sehun asked like a child who is lost in a crowd.

"If you want me to" Jongin answered, Sehun cuddled closer, Wrapping his long slim arms around Jongin's waist.

"Stay" Sehun mumbled which sounded more like a plea.

"Always" Jongin whispered.


	4. Adore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sekai day lovelies, Thank you for all your love.

Young Sehun's hand itched to replace the clothe the little girl has placed on her lap carelessly, He wants to put it nice and fine but he can't, That'd be rude on his behalf.

So he called her instead and it worked, She politely accepted it and placed it correctly, Sehun was good, It went okay, It satisfied him, He doesn't feel uncomfortable anymore.

Sehun often got scolded by teachers, Some kids would complain on him and thus he paid the punishment despite not being at fault, Because he wasn't able to talk clearly and his stammering would be just another thing to tease about, A sensitive and fragile one from the start.

His older brother, Kyungsoo, would always ask the teacher to let him leave the class twice a day for a while, Just so he could check up on his younger brother.

Their father died before even Sehun was born, His mother was 6 months pregnant with him and due to trauma, Faced a lot of complications during the time.

Sehun blames himself for multiple incidents, he doesn't want to feel guilty all the time, He's a human and has a life, Why would anyone bring such problems on themselves on their own?

It's no one's fault but Sehun can't teach his mind that, It's not in his control, He is controlled by it.

Sehun asked Jongin to stay but he certainly don't want him to witness such situation yet Sehun hates the mere thought of being alone.

 

Jongin has laid out dry and comfortable clothes for Sehun, he's waiting outside, he promised and Sehun is trusting him.

He changed into the fresh clothes with all the remaining energy, The wet ones lay on the floor, Sehun rested his head on the mattress staring at the door, waiting.

But it didn't open.

"Jongin" Sehun called, just a whisper, Certainly Jongin can't hear him but he's trying.

"Jongin" Sehun sat up with a hand on the mattress, His eyes brimmed with tears.

His hand wobbled but he still sat there, Has Jongin left?

As if on cue, The door to his room opened and the said boy entered looking a little conflicted.

His eyes landed on Sehun, Who finally took mercy on himself and plopped down completely.

Jongin spotted the abandoned clothes by the bed and quickly put them on the basket.

Sehun was so much thankful.

"I thought...you left" Sehun choked out, a tear trailed down his eyes and landed on the bed, "I would never" Jongin immediately defended, "I promised you, How could I've left?"

"Your mother arrived" Sehun listened, "I might've gotten into a kinda not so polite conversation, I swear I wasn't disrespectful, She ordered me to leave but I didn't" He swallowed, Jongin knows just how much of his ego he had to crush just to say no, "Just for you"

"I'm sorry"

"Stop saying that, Nothing, Absolutely nothing's your fault, Stop beating yourself over it" Jongin burst out but Sehun was laying on his side facing him, just taking in all only listening.

"I apologize" Jongin started, "But I don't like your mother, I'm sorry" Jongin always admitted everything and he just had to do this too.

"I kinda already know" Sehun whispered, voice hoarse by the dryness, "Don't apologize, You're not obligated to like her"

"Rest" Jongin said softly, draping the blanket over Sehun, putting a pillow under his head, "I'll be here"

"You can sleep here" Sehun mumbled hesitantly.

"Hm?" Jongin hummed, "Come again?" His voice was so gentle and soft, It was lulling Sehun to sleep.

"Lay down, You can sleep here" Jongin's eyes widened, Mouth opening just to close afterwards, "Sure?" He let out still wondered.

"Sure" Sehun confirmed.

"Can I ask another favor? I'm sorry for being selfish, I just want you t-"

"Order" Jongin cut him off smiling, "Just order" He whispered, biting onto his lip to suppress from grinning, Sehun felt himself smiling too, He wants to bury his face in the pillows but he won't, He wants to watch Jongin.

There was space between them yet they were close, "Sing me a song, I really l-like your voice" He stuttered with nervousness.

Jongin scrunched his nose, pouting, "Eh? My voice, Are you kidding?" He chuckled yet still nodded.

"I have to follow the orders still" He went serious suddenly thinking, "Your favorite" Sehun added and Jongin felt a smile grew on his face.

"Aren't you demanding?" Jongin teased and Sehun licked his lips nodding, "Kinda"

"Alright, Think of it as a lullaby"

Sehun closed his eyes and Jongin propped up on his elbow, palm on his temple supporting him.

Jongin cleared his throat but end up laughing, automatically making Sehun smile.

Jongin watched Sehun up close, smiling gently and he started singing in a soft low voice.

_Wise men say only fools rush in_  
_But I can't help falling in love with you_  
_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you?_

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
_Darling so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand, take my whole life too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_

Jongin swallowed, His heart felt heavy, Eyes stinging with tears but he knows better to let them flow, He smiled sadly seeing Sehun breath even, He was asleep.

"I love you, Sehun" Jongin confessed, voice breaking but he felt somehow proud, He let it out to Sehun finally, He'll cut the part that the other was sleeping.

"God, I love you so much, Sehun ah" Jongin reached out his hand hesitantly, He pushed the fallen strands away from Sehun's face and the latter tried with everything in him not to flinch.

"I know this is never gonna happen but I can't bring myself to turn away from it either" Jongin murmured withdrawing his hand back, eyes droopy, A gentle smile appeared on his face.

"Good night, Sehun"

Sehun opened his eyes few minutes later, Tears freely streamed down but he had a sad smile on his face.

"Good night, Jongin" He whispered softly.

 

Sehun emerged from behind the bathroom door, Towel perched on his head as he closed the door and dried his hair.

He rested the towel back to the basket and stood on the edge of the bed watching Jongin sprawled across the bed with the duvet wrapped around his body.

Sehun didn't want to wake Jongin up cause it's weekend and no rushing to attend class but he heard the clacking of glasses and pots from downstairs, His mother was awake.

"Jongin" Sehun softly called, He rolled his eyes at himself, Nobody could wake up with the volume of his voice.

He opened the blinds and tugged on the duvet, "Jongin" He frowned when Jongin made no move to wake up.

"Jongin" He finally yelled, Jongin's eyelids flutter open and the both boys stared at each other processing the situation.

"Ah, Shit, I'm so sorry, I'm just a deep sleeper" Jongin sat up rubbing his eyes, He sneezed and Sehun's eyes widened.

"Are you okay?" Jongin passed him a gentle smile.

"Always am" The reply Sehun got bring an unsettling feeling in his gut.

Nobody can be always okay, Jongin ah, The words merely on the tip of his tongue.

"Your nose is all red, You've caught a cold"

Jongin frowned, "And so is yours, We both have, Darling" Sehun pouted trying his best not to react on the nickname cause it took him off guard and it felt nice but he knows his limits better than anyone.

After the last night confession, Sehun is feeling all sorts of emotions he shouldn't and the ones he had been blocking out since he met Jongin, This whole situation just made it even worse for Sehun to cope.

"Thank you" Sehun stared at Jongin in the eye at last with a genuine smile, "Thank you for yesterday, Honestly Jongin, You saved me" Sehun let out a shaky breath but didn't break the eye contact.

"I had these incidents often when I was young, I've ended up hurting myself pretty bad because of the brain locks" Sehun lift up his sweater's sleeve showing Jongin a dark red scar which was stitched, It looked old but the angry marks didn't fade.

"It happened when I was 17, I landed on a shattered glass I myself broke, It went right through my arm, It had to be operated" Sehun swallowed before looking back up, "I've always hurt myself suffering it but not this time, You were there"

"Hey, I'll always be there even if you don't want me to, I'm a clingy jerk" Sehun chuckled at Jongin's comment, "Just say and I'll make sure you have it" Jongin whispered then showed his ever so lovely smile making Sehun return it back.

 

A knock on the door startled Sehun, He stood up and opened it revealing his very own mother who was throwing daggers at Jongin.

Something told Sehun that half of the heat in the glares were directed towards him and it didn't matter that the eyes weren't pointing at him but the feeling was still there.

"Good morning, Mrs Oh, I'll be going now" Jongin monotonously greeted, immediately standing up before bowing politely, He didn't give Sehun any chance to argue, "Take care, Sehun, I'll see you later, Bye"

He walked out without even looking back, "Bye" Sehun whispered staring at his back.

"Breakfast is ready" His mother announced in a curt voice, He just nodded.

Sehun wasn't surprised that his mother still hasn't had the change of heart considering his breakdown just occurred last night, It wasn't the time to bawl his eyes out.

She isn't gonna get over the events anytime soon and the once so peaceful place for Sehun, felt suffocating.

Jongin's confession has been repeatedly playing in his mind but the vulnerability in his voice ached Sehun's heart cause the other predicts the possibilities very well either.

 

Sehun laid on the couch in the afternoon halfheartedly watching the TV, His phone buzzed on the table, Sehun stared at it for good time before reaching out.

Sehun sat up immediately looking at the caller ID, "Kyungsoo Hyung?" Sehun called in an insistence voice.

"It's me, Sehun ah" Yixing.

"Ah, Umm how are you, Yixing?" Sehun tried his best at not letting his voice waver, Why wasn't it Kyungsoo?

"I'm alright, How are yo-" Sehun interrupted him before he could finish, "Is he mad at me too? What have I done?" Sehun asked like a lost kid.

"No, no, God no!" Yixing repeatedly refused, "He's feeling a lot guilty...Kyungsoo forced it out of Jongin about how you were and how are you feeling, Sehun?" Yixing finished.

"I'm fine, Jongin was there with me, He made sure I didn't end up doing something stupid or harmful"

"See, I told you" Sehun heard a faint voice in the background, "Is that Jongin, He's with you guys?"

"Sehunnie" It was now Kyungsoo, Seemed like he was on speaker before but the voices became silent as he heard a door being shut on the other line.

"You had breakfast?"

Sehun's lower lip wobbled but he nodded, "I did"

"Your medicines?"

"Took them"

"Missed me?" Sehun sniffled biting onto his lip, "Not really" He choked out making Kyungsoo chuckle.

"Come over?" Kyungsoo asked hesitantly as he was almost afraid he would be rejected, "Alright" Sehun answered.

"Alright?" Kyungsoo confirmed and Sehun smiled through the tears, "Alright"

"Your driver is coming to get you"

Sehun frowned, "Huh? We don't have a..." He trailed off words dying on the way as he heard Kyungsoo calling Jongin.

"Oh" Sehun realized, "Hyung, He's not my driver, Please, Respect him"

"Why? Drivers aren't respected?" Kyungsoo shot back, Sehun rolled his eyes.

"That's not what I meant"

"Yeah yeah" Kyungsoo dismissed him but the lightness in his voice indicated that the older was only joking but Sehun knows making fun of Jongin is his brother's favorite thing to do.

Sehun cut the call to get ready.

 

Kyungsoo crossed his arms giving Jongin a pointed look, He received a lazy gaze definitely not caring.

"Bring Sehun here" He ordered and Jongin raised his eyebrows.

"If I'm going to get him, Not promising you I'll bring him here" He smirked seeing Kyungsoo's enraged face.

"Don't you dare play smarty with me" Yixing huffed, totally not having it, "Will you two just be quiet, I'll go get him"

"That's not what I meant! Like hell I'm going to let this chance go, I'm getting him" Jongin stood up.

"No, I changed my mind, I'm bringing him, You guys rest, Have fun eating snacks" Kyungsoo uttered hurriedly not trusting Jongin with his baby brother after what he heard.

"I'm not changing my mind though, Spend time with your boyfriend, Let me get to mine" Jongin grabbed the car keys before he was pushed back by his jacket.

"What did you just call him? He's my brother, Don't try anything, Kim Jongin" Jongin scoffed removing Kyungsoo's hand from his jacket.

"Listen, I know he's your brother you say it like million times a day, It won't be a surprise if you do it in your sleep too, Back to the topic, I know exactly how he is, I'm not a jerk" Jongin paused raising his eyebrows at himself,

"Well I am but not to him, I don't have to give a romantic speech to you cause I've been saving that for Sehun only, You already knew my feelings for your brother" Jongin emphasized the word brother passing Kyungsoo an innocent smile.

"You guys settle your issues, Sehun must be waiting" Yixing finally interrupted marching towards the door, Jongin blocked him with his body, "I said I am going"

"Nobody said you are" Kyungsoo snarled, "Technically it was really you, Soo" Yixing chuckled before shrugging when Kyungsoo's glare shifted to him.

"Why the heck are we even fighting for this?" Jongin asked loudly, irritation visibly shown on his face.

"It's just the result showing that we're all really whipped for Sehun" Yixing concluded, Silence filled the room as realization dawned on them.

"Perfect but I'm going" Jongin announced turning the door knob, "We all are, Shut up and get in the car, No arguments" Kyungsoo finally ordered, shaking his head while walking down the hallway.

Jongin clicked his tongue, "Why do you even like him?" He whisper yelled to Yixing who just smiled politely.

"I just do" He replied easily walking beside Jongin, "Why do you like Sehunnie?" Yixing turned his question back on him.

"I could write a book" Jongin cheekily smiled making Yixing laugh out loud, "Are you guys talking shit about me?" Kyungsoo's voice echoed making Jongin snicker, "Damn straight, Angry bird"

Kyungsoo turned around at the nickname marching towards Jongin when Yixing wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "Sehun is waiting, Remember? This could happen later"

"I could say the same" Yixing said to Jongin and only he got what the meaning was, a small smile played on his lips as he nodded, "Understood"

 

Sehun was ready for 15 minutes already, He wore an oversized maroon sweater with tight black jeans, It was a gift from his older brother and he made sure to use it this very day.

The doorbell rang and he sighed with a smile.

He locked the door behind him before making his way towards the awaiting car, He opened the back door and was greeted with the bright smile of his brother.

The car hit the road again and all the boys got busy in chatting.

"This was my gift, I knew you would look dashing in it" Kyungsoo spoke in happiness.

"Thank you, Hyung" He blushed looking up at the rearview mirror finding Jongin's eyes on him, Sehun knows for sure he's already red.

"He's treating you well, right?" Sehun cleared his throat asking Kyungsoo then turned to his Best friend, "Are you?"

"Perfectly well, If anything you should ask Yixing's well being cause he deserves it" Jongin dropped the bomb with a smirk playing on his lips, Yixing slapped his palm on his forehead in despair already knowing the consequences.

"I'll fucking choke you" Kyungsoo growled shaking in anger, Sehun watched the scene with an amused smile, He bit the inside of his cheek to refrain from laughing.

"Your boyfriend is kinky, isn't he? Feeling more sorry for you, After all you chose it yourself" Jongin sighed in mock tiredness, "Why aren't you saying anything?" Kyungsoo shook Yixing's shoulder and Sehun thinks Jongin might be right.

"Just let it be, Ignore him" Yixing titled his head watching Kyungsoo, then pouted at Sehun.

"So surprised at myself at how right I was" Jongin gasped before his facade broke and he burst out laughing.

"You think only you can mock me? You challenged the wrong person" Needless to say, Kyungsoo was bursting at Jongin throughout the car ride.

Despite the noise, Sehun hadn't experienced such fun car ride all his life.

"We're going outside?" Sehun asked once he noticed they've already passed by Yixing's apartment, "I don't know, Are we?" Kyungsoo asked back just as confused.

"What's the fun in going from home to home, We're going to the cafe I love" Jongin answered eyes glued to the road, "It's not really crowded always" As if on cue he relaxed the conflict in Sehun's mind.

"Why the place you love? Why not mine?" Kyungsoo started and Sehun finally took matter into his own hands, "Hyung, Calm down, It's okay" His soft voice shut his older brother up who sighed, rolling his eyes at Jongin's smug smile.

 

The evening came to an end quickly just how it started, After too much bickering with Kyungsoo, Jongin was able to have some alone with Sehun, He dropped the couple at their building and proceeded to his destination with the person he loves dearly.

"This is a studio?" Sehun asked Jongin who opened the entrance door with a key, He opened the door and like a gentleman he waited for Sehun to enter first.

"Yes, It's a dance studio" Jongin confirmed Sehun's question, "But it's not in use, My mother owned it but now it's under my name" He sighed looking around, "This place is my stress reliever, I always come by when I'm frustrated, Which is pretty often" Sehun followed Jongin's steps and waited for him to continue talking but he remained silent.

"My brothers know this place too, They have visited it for like thrice, They hardly come by, Wouldn't be surprised if they have forgot about it already" Jongin continued and Sehun listened attentively.

"I'll graduate from university and start it finally, It's my dream, Dance is my life and I want to live it and teach others so they'll know the value too" Jongin smiled genuinely at Sehun who nodded happily.

"I support you all the way, Jongin ah" Those simple words determined the will of Jongin even more, "Thank you, Sehun" He turned around looking up at the ceiling to keep the damn tears away.

"Do you wanna dance?" Jongin's sudden question startled him, Sehun hummed awkwardly moving his hands up and down.

"Yeah" Sehun replied breathless, "I'd like to"

"Perfect" Jongin attached his phone to the speakers and began to search for a good song, In the mean time Sehun composed himself by looking around which somehow calmed his nerves.

"The song will start in few seconds, Let's get you ready then"

Jongin stood before him holding out his hand, Sehun swallowed looking at Jongin's hand briefly before reaching out, Jongin clutched it gentle but tight in his own.

"Closer" And Sehun did, With a crazy beating of his heart.

"Can I?" Jongin asked his permission and Sehun nodded looking down, anywhere but Jongin's eyes.

Jongin snaked his arm around Sehun's waist pulling him closer until his chest touched the other, "Relax" Jongin's soothing voice instructed him in the ear.

"I lead the step and you follow, Just trust me, Where I take my foot and place it, You place yours just close, Clear?" Jongin himself was breathing heavy cause he's giving himself a lot of credit that he seemed composed staring back at his reflection in the mirror and Sehun's back.

Jongin moved taking the lead, "It's a simple couple dance, You've seen it, right?" Sehun nodded and Jongin smiled proudly cause Sehun was taking it a lot better than he thought he would.

The music started just on time and Sehun's mind instantly clicked at the song, All of me by John Legend.

_What would I do without your smart mouth_  
_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_  
_Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down_  
_What’s going on in that beautiful mind_  
_I’m on your magical mystery ride_  
_And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright_

Jongin rested his forehead again Sehun, his breath ghosting over his lips, slowly moving together.

_My head’s under water_  
_But I’m breathing fine_  
_You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind_

_'Cause all of me_  
_Loves all of you_  
_Love your curves and all your edges_  
_All your perfect imperfections_  
_Give your all to me_  
_I’ll give my all to you_

Jongin spinned Sehun around before drawing him back, Jongin's chest pressed against the younger's back.

_You’re my end and my beginning_  
_Even when I lose I’m winning_

Jongin's breath hitting Sehun's neck and the latter involuntarily titled his head to the side giving the older easy access.

_Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too_  
_The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move_  
_You’re my downfall, you’re my muse_  
_My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues_  
_I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you_

Jongin trailed his nose from Sehun's neck to the jaw, "Jongin" Sehun uttered out breathless.

"Ssh" Jongin whispered his ear still moving his body against Sehun's, Where the others feet goes, The latter follows.

Sehun turned around in Jongin's arms, their nose touched but none withdraw.

Jongin leaned in and kissed the younger's cheek, He didn't lean back his lips slightly touching the others jaw.

"Jongin" Sehun called the other again and this time Jongin stared at him in the eye, His eyes matched his own, They were glossy as well.

Jongin titled his back dipping his head, nestling Sehun closer if possible but he didn't touch his lips just paused in the middle, merely inches closer.

Sehun's eyes were wide, It was all happening too fast yet slow, He reluctantly shook his head and pulled away slowly, "Jongin, no" He whispered in a barely audible tone.

The other nodded understanding but he didn't say anything, swallowing the lump in his throat, Jaw clenching in anger at himself, For not being able to control his heart.

"I'm sorry" He rasped out looking down, he shook his head running a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry" He tearfully choked out the apology.

Sehun winced internally, He has never seen Jongin cry and he wasn't ready to, The other looked one step from breaking down.

Sehun knows he wants it, He want to get closer now that he can but the pang in his heart of his mother's disapproval, Disowning him too, It doesn't settle well either.

Sehun stepped forward but Jongin immediately took one back, Sehun looked at him wide eyed, "Don't, I won't be responsible for my actions later, I'm sorry" He instantly apologized shaking his head.

Sehun doesn't think it could hurt more just seeing Jongin pull away from his touch, "I'm sorry" Sehun spoke, grabbing Jongin's arm and put it on his waist.

Sehun's eyes lands on the floor panting before finally looking up and crashing his own lips against Jongin's.

Needless to say, Both present in the room were surprised.

Sehun wrapped his long arms around the older's neck, Jongin titled his head deepening the kiss even more, The younger's hand in his hair soothes his nerves.

They both tightened the hold on each other, Sehun pulled away to catch his breath, Jongin waited and paused on his lips like earlier asking for permission through his eyes.

A small shy nod and Jongin closed the little gap, They poured all their love into the kiss letting each other know, The kiss was passionate almost rough yet gentle.

The door opened to the dance practice's room and Three people appeared in, The shocks visible on their faces as well as the pair already present in the room.

 

Jongin growled inwardly, Apart from his best friends, Park Chanyeol also showed up.

Sehun tensed in his arms and there was no way Jongin wouldn't notice, Sehun buried his face in his neck hiding himself like he was seeking protection.

Jongin hugged him back, "Jongin, What the hell, mate?" Sehun whimpered before pulling away.

Sehun stared at Jongin in disbelief, "Mate?" he softly whispered before looking back at the 3 judgemental eyes on him.

"Jongin, You're sick" Baekhyun spat at him, eyes going back and forth between the pair and Chanyeol.

"Jongin, What's going on?" Sehun asked in a vulnerable voice, clutching onto Jongin's hoodie.

"Nothing much Dearest, Just coming in to meet my brother, Didn't know he had planned a surprise for me" Sehun pulled away from Jongin like he was burnt.

"He's your brother?" Sehun asked, not trusting Chanyeol.

"Sehun" Jongin called him, not minding any person's existence and taunts, He just needs Sehun to trust him.

He cupped Sehun's cheeks forcing him to look in his own eyes, "Trust me, Sehun ah, I didn't know about this, It's only my place, I also don't know how do they even came here"

"He's by relation my step brother but he's not my family, He's no one to me"

Jongin breathed heavily, holding his anger only for Sehun, In other situation he would've already punched the life out of his so called brother.

"Believe me" Jongin's voice broke and Sehun knew the other was telling the truth, Jongin had no reason to lie, He was totally sincere from the start.

"He isn't someone special to talk about for me, So I never mentioned him" Sehun nodded, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Can we go back?" Sehun's lip wobbled as he asked, hopeful eyes pleading, "Of course"

"Wait here" Jongin whispered in his ear before pecking it.

"What are you guys doing here?" Jongin raised his eyebrows at Baekhyun's enraged expression, "Why are you so angry? and at me? Turn to your left and there is your answer"

Realization dawned on him that surely Chanyeol hasn't made any move.

"Why are you standing here like a statue?" Chen scoffed glancing towards Chanyeol.

"Sehun isn't Chanyeol's boyfriend, for your information, So he doesn't got any right to make a move" Jongin answered for Chanyeol sending his step brother a fake sweet smile.

"I'll deal with you all later, Right now I have other priorities" Jongin motioned for Chanyeol to take a step aside before he pulled Sehun in front who ran out like his life depended on it, more likely it was.

"Do not come near him, You heard me and I made myself clear" Jongin gritted out, there was fire in his eyes, "I'll force it out of you that how you knew about this place and magically appeared just in time, You wanted them to think low of me, didn't you?"

He jerked his head towards his best friends, "The brother who hates you, got the revenge by stealing your boyfriend, Tsk pity"

He passed the keys over to Chen who catches them instantly, "Close the studio for me? I can trust you on that right?" He received a slow nod .

Jongin took off, heart clenching in pain.

 

"Jongin" Baekhyun ran after him stopping by the front entrance , The said boy glanced behind, The shorter of the two seemed visibly guilty, worrying his bottom lip and not able to look his best friend in the eyes.

"I'll see you around?" he asked hopefully and Jongin knows he's angry and upset but not that much to be ignorant of one's feelings.

"Sure, Baek" Jongin purposely called his pet name to ease up the other, "You like him?" Baekhyun smiled indicating to Sehun who was sitting in the car with his head down.

"I love him" Jongin replied sincerely, Baekhyun's smile widened, "He's beautiful" Jongin narrowed his eyes playfully, "Back off, mate"

Baekhyun laughed "We'll talk later, Jongin ah"

"Keep an eye on your crush" Jongin reminded him, eyes turning cold just by the mention of a certain tall guy, "Give him a lecture or two as you always preach me about"

The smaller guy's gaze faced the floor and he nodded, "I'll make sure to do that, For you, Jongin ah" The said one's eyes softened and he noticed the other is way too guilty for his good.

So he hugged the smaller, Shaking him aggressively making the both of them laugh, "We'll meet tomorrow" Jongin promised and his eyes met Sehun through the car's window.

 

He jogged towards the car settling in, He saw Sehun's eyes glued to the entrance, Baekhyun hasn't left, He enthusiastically waved his hand, Sehun reluctantly reached out and waved back.

Baekhyun's loud 'Cute' echoed in the empty hallway and Jongin chuckled, "That's my best friend, Baekhyun"

Sehun faced him and licked his lips, "He seems sweet" Jongin pretended to think, "Umm, He is when he wants to be" Sehun softly chuckled at the statement.

"You've been crying" Jongin pointed out to the nose which was a pinkish shade and eyes crimson from the sides.

"I'm sorry" Sehun apologized sniffling "You personally have your own doubts and I want to clear them so you can trust me wholeheartedly, I don't want to hide anything from you" Sehun murmured with a raspy hint in his voice.

"Just knowing that is enough for me but I'll wait whenever you're ready to tell me cause I don't want to rush you into anything" Jongin placed his hand atop Sehun's, swallowing a lump down his throat, he continued.

"You deserve to know everything about me too and I'm willing to do so yet nobody knows, You'll be the first person to know the truth beside that bastard" Jongin kissed his palm, smiling gently, "You have no idea how happy you make me"

Sehun shakily breathed before leaning closer, He pecked Jongin's lips, "I could say the same, Jongin" The latter can't get enough of the kisses.

"Promise me, You'll trust me?" Jongin held Sehun's hand in both of his own.

"I trust you, You're the only person I trust beside Yixing and Kyungsoo Hyung" Jongin groaned playfully, "You ruined the mood, If that brother of yours isn't present to destroy everything, His name does it"

Sehun laughed, "He's not that bad, You just get on his nerves all the time"

"I could the same but I'm not complaining 24/7" Sehun shook his head, a smile present on his lips, "He likes you, He's not the one to show it all the time, Yixing is an exception"

"And you're an exception for everyone"

"Huh?"

"Don't you see, Literally anyone who is close to you acts almost whipped for you, Baekhyun saw you just minutes ago and he was already staring at you with heart eyes" Sehun's eyes widened innocently before he burst out laughing.

"Jongin, are you jealous?" Sehun teased.

"Of course, I am" Sehun didn't expect a blunt answer but the blush creeping up on his neck and cheeks were the proof he was fond of it.

"Your Kyungsoo Hyung" Jongin snorted, "ordered me to bring you home before 10, I got 15 minutes and do you like ice cream?"

Sehun nodded, "Chocolate is my favorite, Buy it for me"

Jongin raised his eyebrows, "Who said I was asking to buy it for you?"

"Then I'll make you buy it for me, I've cold already but it's reckless" Sehun's eyes twinkled innocently, Jongin smiled fondly with a soft gaze.

He was such a fragile and Innocent being, Jongin swears on his mother he'll die himself in order to protect the pale boy.

"You're creeping me out, You've been staring for two minutes straight" Sehun mumbled pulling on his beanie to cover his ears properly, "Time's running out, KJ"

"Ah, Shit" Jongin hurriedly put on his seatbelt and started the engine with Sehun giggling by his side

It feels almost surreal, Too perfect, Jongin wants to live in this moment forever, Call him cheesy but like he would care, He wants to build his own little world with Sehun where his love is safe and sound, Carefree and a real rebel like this.


	5. Merrier

Jongin dropped Sehun at Yixing's apartment like he promised the latter's brother, a smile present on his lips all the way to his own.

However his smile faded once he spotted the person leaning against his home's door, He clenched his fist walking faster.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jongin growled, making his presence known to the other who lift up his head, A smirk playing on his lips.

"Well, Hello to you too, Brother" His eyes turned cold meeting Jongin whose were burning with hatred directed towards him, "You've been a lot rebellious lately, Might knock some sense into you, How does that sound, Jongin?"

"Get the fuck out of here, I don't have the time to listen to your so called badass threats" Jongin retorted back, Suddenly his right cheek burned with harsh pain by the punch, He swallowed angrily calming his nerves.

"I said I don't have time for your nonsense, Get out"

"Why? Is little one scared now? What happened to the one who preached about being fearless and strong, Come on show me some of the skills too, baby brother" Chanyeol provoked grabbing Jongin's collar aggressively, "You didn't knew who you were playing against"

"Neither do I remember when I started playing a game" Jongin muttured raising his eyebrow in mockery, "If I show you my fighting skills, Care to tell me some of your stalking tips?"

Chanyeol scanned his step brother's face with a frown, Jongin pouted, "There, Those are the lips Sehun kissed, Oh right, You can't relate" Jongin clicked his tongue in pity.

"Shut up" Chanyeol snarled throwing another punch directed to Jongin's face yet the latter dodged it just on time hitting Chanyeol in the stomach with the knee.

He coughed stumbling back before marching again pushing Jongin against the wall roughly, He groaned at the pain shooting up his spine, Chanyeol took the advantage and repeatedly threw punches and kicked the younger.

Jongin coughed out blood on the floor, Leaning against the wall weakly for support, He panted head rolling back in mild unconsciousness, He blinked rapidly getting up on wobbly legs, A kick to his stomach sent him back to the floor.

"I'm still going easy on you, Despite whatever you've done to me, You stole him, from me" Chanyeol accused shaking his head, "I'll never let you, Sehun's all mine"

Jongin growled glaring at the taller in protest, "He was never yours to begin with, you bastard, You aren't worthy of someone so pure like Sehun"

Chanyeol snickered, "Are you implying that you are? Oh Jongin, you're one funny dude" He patted the other's shoulder in mock sympathy "But I'm not in the mood for jokes right now, So bad timing" He yanked the younger's hair holding his head up so he could look him in the eye.

"Don't come near him, You heard me and I made myself clear" Chanyeol mimicked Jongin's line back at him with a smirk, "And sorry about all that" He ran his eyes over the other's face in sympathy, "Clean it up"

Just when the taller stood up ready to walk, Jongin grabbed his leg tightly making Chanyeol lose his balance and fall face down.

"Fuck" Chanyeol yelled in pain, Jongin bit his lip refraining from laughing, "Like hell I would ever listen to you" He huffed out a chuckle shaking his head.

"What have you done to him?" Jongin asked with a deadly tone, if looks could kill Chanyeol would've been no more.

"Why is Sehun so scared of you? I want the answers now" The younger stood up finally composed with a bloody nose and busted lip, His face might be bruised up by tomorrow.

"Get ready for a hospital trip otherwise cause unlike you, I won't go easy" Jongin scoffed, "Not at all"

Chanyeol looked up at Jongin and gulped shaking his head, "I've done nothing, He's just scared around people like usual"

"Answers which are true, to be exact" Jongin pressed more, smiling sweetly down at the taller.

"About that" A mischievous smile spread across Chanyeol's face, "I've tasted the pretty lips too, You're not special"

Jongin's face paled with shock, "Fuck you.." He huffed in anger punching Chanyeol with all his might, "You got no shame"

Chanyeol felt his world go round and round before his vision went clear from blurry, Jongin isn't easy to fight with.

"I really don't want to think what Sehun must've went through that time" Jongin spat, a tight hold on Chanyeol's shirt collar, "But I'll make you pay for it"

 

Chanyeol laid motionless on the floor, He groaned in pain making Jongin scoff as he stood tall beside him "You're feeling it right? The pain physically, Let me place it right, A person like you wouldn't be able to bear the pain emotionally"

"Your anger still hasn't subsided, has it?" Chanyeol asked in a tired tone.

"Get the fuck out of here" Jongin turned around opening his apartment's door when Chanyeol's words stopped him.

"Are your feelings stronger for Sehun than it were for him?" Chanyeol questioned getting up by the support of the wall.

"Why the heck do you care?"

"I want an answer" Chanyeol stayed still to the topic making Jongin roll his eyes, "Far stronger, I was just a teen back then but you know the feeling of betrayal always stays the same" He made sure to keep his tone as taunting as possible.

"I never meant to do that" Chanyeol confessed, Jongin sighed mockingly, "Ah yeah, Now this bullshit again? did I asked for an explanation? As long as I'm reaching I didn't, so kindly fuck off"

"That was the problem, You never asked, You should have! You never confronted me even after you found me in bed with him" Jongin stayed leaning against the doorframe with a blank face with hard eyes for the person standing before him.

"I'm taking all the blame cause I know it was my fault but your boyfriend back then wasn't so innocent either, He wasn't sincere, He kept seducing me when you weren't near, I was an idiot too so I just went with it and gave in to him" Chanyeol looked down in guilt but Jongin still remained mum.

"I am a horrible person I know but I never meant to hurt you that way, He wasn't deserving of you considering how loyal you were, I broke your trust in me, We drifted apart and then became almost like enemies and it was all because I stubbornly denied that I was at the wrong" Chanyeol shrugged gulping, He dared to look up just to encounter Jongin in the same position as before.

"Are you done?" He asked monotonously, Chanyeol's eyes widened in regret before he nodded.

"If you're expecting me to forgive you right here and be done with then I'm sorry I can't, I need to think it through but just so you know the anger and disappointment has subsided only a bit from my side"

Jongin can forgive him for whatever trouble Chanyeol has caused for him but not regarding Sehun, It was something the said person had to decide and no matter how much he can assure himself, There's always gonna a part reluctant towards Chanyeol.

"Stay away from Sehun" Just at the mention of the younger, Chanyeol raised his eyebrows, "This was a personal matter I wanted to apologize for, I'm not giving up on Sehun if you got it wrong"

Jongin chuckled bitterly, "Tsk, What the hell was I expecting? Next time I'd make sure that you won't even have the legs to approach him" He said with a determined ring to his tone.

"Sehun isn't interested in you, He has made it very obvious, He isn't seducing you in anyway neither playing hard to get, and I'd really appreciate it if you get the hint this time and give up to it for everyone's good if you actually do think about someone other than yourself" Jongin sent Chanyeol off with a glare banging the door shut from the inside.

Jongin breathed heavily running a hand through his hair, He stood there in the middle of his living room, processing every single thing happened to him this very day.

It was a memorable day, He would give it that.

Chanyeol stared at the closed door for a few brief minutes before laughing, "I can't possibly be thinking that" He hummed to himself before biting onto his lip,

Jongin isn't wrong again, It's me, Chanyeol concluded.

 

Sehun waited by the door for his brother who was listening attentively to whatever his boyfriend was lecturing him for, A faint smile played on his lips as he watched them.

He was proud of his older brother for taking a stand for himself and his own happiness, He was like a parent figure to the younger more than his mother and seeing that someone else was able to take care of his own brother as well might've subsided the guilt in him a bit.

The car stopped right in front of the house, Kyungsoo longingly stared at it before averting his gaze to Sehun who was watching him with the same look in his eyes, "Say hi to mother from me, I don't care if she doesn't even reply and that I miss her"

The older hid his trembling lips by stretching them into a grin, "Take care, Sehun ah"

"I will try my best, Goodbye" Sehun opened the car door before his emotions take over and hold him back.

He turned around waving at his brother who returned the gesture warmly, He rang the doorbell closing his eyes shut in order to his get a grip on the water flow which was threatening to break anytime.

The door opened revealing his mother, He can hear the muffled voices from inside the house, Sehun questioned his mother silently by his eyes, "They're my colleagues, We have something to discuss over so they came by, You can be just in your room, That'd be Alright?"

He nodded after few seconds making his way to his room when she stopped him in the middle of the stairs, "That was your brother, right?" Sehun never thought it could hurt more than it did, Kyungsoo isn't even worth to be mentioned by his name now, is what he recognized.

"Hm, It was Hyung" He replied quietly, "I have to talk to you about something, We can discuss that over dinner after they go" She ordered before retreating back to the living room leaving her son standing alone.

Sehun bit the inside of his cheek briefly staring into space before his head spun and he gripped onto the railing tightly, Heart hammering into his chest by the possibility of falling down the stairs, He licked his lips breath coming out in puffs, He whimpered lowly before dragging his feet to the place he call his own room.

Can a day go by where he doesn't panic, Doesn't care about the littlest of things, Where he doesn't feel worthless or useless, Where he can go anywhere alone without a second thought, Where he doesn't cry all the damn time.

He wondered all the possibilities, At the very least, He could've just been a normal person, Oh how that word sound so wonderful, Normal; Everything ordinary, Nothing seems to be out of place, Even if his book is placed on the right nightstand, it could work.

But the reality is, It isn't, It can't cause he can't.

His heart sank when he end up seeing the height he was standing over, If his hand hadn't clutched onto the railing that tightly, If it was just tiny bit loosened, He could've fell.

Now he's standing in his room, safe and sound with no injury, Then why is the thought still stuck, Why can't he shake it off, Why won't he just break free?

What are these thoughts? I don't want to think, I want to shut it down, Why does it feel like it's talking to me, Like it's a person, A person with just a voice, No existence, Just that oh so familiar voice.

But...isn't that voice mine?

I am not just a burden to anyone but myself too, How do I let go?

I think about ending my life lots of time, Awful lot that I've end up losing the counts, It irked me because I wanted to keep a check but it slipped, Seconds ago, The situation was right in front of me, A chance.

If I would've fallen on my head, There's no way I would've opened my eyes and found myself alive, It's scared me to death, There is it again, Death.

I also don't want to die, Why does it feel like I'm talking to it, I'm talking to that voice, It's controlling me but then again how to break free?

Who am I even talking to? Is it me or someone I'm imagining? Is it Jongin? Is Jongin just a mere imagination of mine?

Sehun stared into space, Just existing, His body was present yet his mind wasn't, In that moment he was a living corpse.

A sudden harsh blow of the wind caused his window to crash against the wall breaking him out of fence, a dungeon of his self eating thoughts.

He sniffles before stumbling his way towards the bed, His mind wandered to the recent conversation with his mother, She wanted to talk to him but he wasn't in the condition to.

"I'll just go to sleep" He informed more likely to himself because Sehun didn't ponder over the thought that he's just been talking to himself all the while.

Sehun was thinking out loud and he didn't even realized he was murmuring them the exact time.

The door to his room opened before he could pull the cover over himself, "Dinner is ready"

"I'm not really hungry, mother" He uttered out before mindlessly wrapping the blanket again, "Why not? I made your favorite, Pasta"

"Mom, I don't like pasta at all, Kyungsoo Hyung does" He muttered clenching his hand in a fist, Just talking makes him irritated.

"I-I can make you something else, What do you want?" His mother apologized, They both were confused on what they were supposed to say or do.

"Yeah honey, I wanted to talk to you about something"

"Yes, you said so" Sehun clenched his jaw, breathing a little slow, "What is it?"

"It's about that boy, Jongin" Sehun's eyes widened, he lowered his head in shame before his mother at the replay of yesterday's events in his mind.

"What about him?" He huffed out, Why was it always so hard for him to breathe?

"What not? have you seen that boy? Such a bratty behavior, Doesn't have manners on how to talk to elders and on top of that" She folded her arms frowning at Sehun, "He helped your brother in that matter of his"

"That? What matter, Mother? and just so you know my b-brother has a name and he's your son too, You had him before me" Sehun tilted his head, eyes darkening, He wanted to rip off his hair, scream and cry, do whatever which would make him feel light, His heart felt like a heavy rock on his chest.

"Jongin just helped him" Sehun whispered, "Which you could've done," He paused letting out a humorless chuckle, "What a sight that'd be to see, Mother, But you didn't, At least someone should've been there for him, no?" He asked genuinely curious.

His mother watched him with concerning eyes, "Honey, What has gott-"

Sehun clicked his tongue in disapproval, "It doesn't sound real, Why does your concern appeal so fake and made up?"

Tears brimmed in his eyes but he couldn't stop the laugh emitting, Seconds later he sniffs as tears rolled down his face.

"Oh my God" His mother gasped as she hurriedly grabbed Sehun's phone and dialed his other son's number.

Kyungsoo answered at the first ring but was cut off by his mother before he could utter a word, "Where are you?" She asked confusing the other.

"Home, Why? What happened?" It stung a little, Her son considered his home someplace other now but there was other situation more important at hand, "Sehun"

"He's undergoing mental shutdown" She sobbed watching her youngest son who was tossing around in bed mindlessly, Sehun pulled his hair roughly letting out a hoarse cry of distress.

"Hurry!" She pleaded before running over to Sehun who pulled off his bed sheet all way along with duvet to the floor.

"It's not placed properly" He reasoned with his mother, "Don't worry, I'll do it right"

"Sehunnie" She called pleadingly, "Calm down, Sweetheart"

He sobbed shaking his head, "Why is it so wrinkly, Why isn't it smooth?" He roared looking at the messy bed sheet perched on the bed, "Why can't I do it right?"

Sehun looked around his room in disgust and huffed out a soft sob, "Where did I go wrong? Why is everything misplaced?" Sehun asked his mother, shocking her with how loud it came.

"You need to go out, I have to clean this" Sehun ordered in his shaky voice before opening his room door and turning around expecting his mother to go out.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he angrily stared at her, "Please" He pleaded while narrowing his dark eyes, She quickly hurried his way out, She couldn't believe her so soft and innocent son could look this scary while the breakdown.

 

She heard many noises from inside the room, Things being thrown, It echoed when it hit any solid material, She flinched praying for her youngest son's safety.

"Oh God, If you're punishing me for any wrong deed I've done, Please bring it upon me, Not my son, Do not make him suffer such pain" She rested her hand over her heart, wiping her tears as the doorbell rang, She ran towards it opening to reveal her eldest child, at this point she wanted nothing more but Sehun to calm down.

A loud scream of pain echoed along with the banging of several books echoing from the room upstairs.

The first person to take action was Kyungsoo who ran upstairs like his life depended on it, "Sehun" He called banging on the door.

His mother's eyes widened when she heard the sound of a glass breaking, "Bring the spare key, Now!" He said, desperately turning around the knob just in case.

 

The moment the door opened, They both were left shocked, The room was a complete mess, Not a single thing was in place, Books scattered on the ground, Clothes out of the closet, The blanket, pillows and sheets were tossed aside at the corner.

Kyungsoo's eyes shifted to Sehun and his breath got stuck in his throat, Sehun was holding a shattered piece of glass.

He was holding it too tight that even blood was dripping from his palm, "Oh my God" Sehun's mother gasped, cupping a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.

"Sehun ah" Kyungsoo called his younger brother softly, moving forward but stopped dead in his tracks when Sehun neared the glass towards his wrist, "Yes, Hyung?" He asked innocently without looking up from the piece in his hand.

"Drop the glass, please" He begged, watching his younger brother look up at him with that same lifeless gaze, Sehun dropped the piece on the ground with a smile, "There" He whispered checking his bloody palm with a disgusted look.

"I wanted to clean it but I lost the order" Sehun explained looking around his room before turning to his brother, "It turned into a mess then"

"Perhaps I'm addicted to mess, You know I always think about it, Afraid of it but then end up making it" Sehun chuckled rubbing his left eye, "But I don't want to feel this way, anymore"

"How do I escape, Hyung?" He choked on his word, eyes pleading and hopeful, Something must be the cure, right?

Kyungsoo bit his lip, tilting his head up to prevent the tears from falling, "It will go away, You said so, Everyone did" Sehun continued, standing up on wobbly legs, he lost balance but ended up leaning against the wall, staring at every person present in his room.

"Do you know, I was gonna die by falling down the stairs? It was terrifying" Sehun mumbled, the words falling out of his mouth without a second thought.

He chuckled grabbing Kyungsoo's hand and placed it on his heart which was beating crazily, "Felt it? Still wild" He commented with a giggle.

 

Jongin swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw Kyungsoo crying as Yixing hugged him tight comforting his boyfriend while he sat before Sehun who was sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed.

Jongin, nonetheless was himself losing his mind.

He forced himself to check whoever entered the room but it only being Sehun's mother who stared at his son before walking over to Kyungsoo who was all red and sniffling.

"Stay strong, For me" She whispered cupping her son's face before running her hand through his hair with a sad smile but it only made Kyungsoo cry again as he clings to his mother.

"I'm sorry" He apologized but she shushed him kissing the top of his head, "I'm the one who's so sorry" She whispered looking over to Jongin before passing him a soft motherly smile.

Jongin was shocked, That was all to it, There was nothing good considering Sehun's condition but it may have knocked some sense into people, Jongin realized.

"Are you okay?" Yixing asked Jongin catching up to him as they made their way to the cafeteria, It was probably just for giving the others family time and talk things out.

"We should be happy that Mrs Oh kinda accepted the fact of us being together with her sons but why aren't I jumping around and hugging my boyfriend to death?" Yixing blabbered, Jongin rolled his eyes before huffing out a laugh putting an arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Because my supposedly boyfriend who's your best friend isn't well, So that good news doesn't count for now"

"Sehun ah will be really happy" Yixing whispered.

 

"Mom said she just wanted us to be happy together, As a family" Kyungsoo paused gaze averting over to the pale boy laying on the bed, "and individually, so she accepted our relationship"

"The only thing I wanna do is tell him this good news" The older murmured in a hushed tone, He briefly stared at Jongin, the said guy had his eyes closed with Sehun's hand in his rubbing his thumb over the latter's hand.

"But in their relation, Mother isn't the obstacle, It's somehow Sehunnie himself" Kyungsoo groused in sorrow, detaching himself from his boyfriend's hold as he walked towards the bed.

"Jongin, You should go home, Rest" He suggested moving away Sehun's fringes of hair from his eyes, "You can always come tomorrow"

Kyungsoo waited for a response but none came, "Jongin ah?" Yixing questioned from behind, The couple exchanged a look of worry before diverting their attention back to the said man.

Jongin hummed without looking up, Eyes still shut tightly but a tear rolling down his cheek gave away the answer, His hold over his lover's hand tightened.

"Has this" He started with a hoarse voice finally maintaining eye contact with the worried pair, "happened often?"

Kyungsoo shook his head, "Not much, Probably twice, When he's really stressed and his mind just shut down and doesn't cooperate" The shorter of them explained eyes briefly taking in his brother's pale sharp features.

"Really stressed huh?" He muttered, eyes stuck on their joined hands, Jongin let out a watery chuckle, "How..?"

"What is the cure? When is he gonna get better, Defeat this fucking..OCD" He breathed out shaking his head, "Sehun needs to do it, He has to" Jongin's voice wavered but his eyes held determination, "This is for real, Just how long are we going to watch him suffer through this, going along with this pain, This is not it, Not any more"

"Sehun's going to get serious treatment now, Not offhandedly prescribed medicines" Jongin ordered, Kyungsoo hummed silently agreeing and Yixing just stayed quiet back on the sofa.

 

"Have you asked Sehun to be your boyfriend, yet?" Baekhyun asked with merge glance of curiosity and teasing, Jongin huffed out a bitter laugh rolling around in a swivel chair.

"Stop doing that, You're scaring me jerk" Baekhyun complained sitting down on Jongin's bed crisscrossed.

"He needs to stay awaken for me to actually receive the answer, ain't it?" Jongin murmured lazily, Baekhyun frowned watching his best friend staring at the ceiling without blinking for minutes straight.

"I'm here to listen, Just spill it, Shoot whatever" Baekhyun encouraged wanting to help Jongin, Just letting him cool off.

"I love him" Jongin started with a smile, "I really do, It's like I'm steady and on track when I'm with him, Something like losing myself and finding it within him"

"I can watch Sehun for hours, Listen to him talk without any care in the world, Just him" Baekhyun can literally feel the warmth of smile his best friend had on his face while talking about the love of his life with much adoration in one's eyes.

"I don't think when I'm with him, It's like it's just going with the way like it's supposed to, I lose the sense of thinking" Jongin turned his friend to glance at the shorter who was listening to his every word like his entire life was dependent on it as if he would miss a word.

Jongin breathed out a soft chuckle, "I see myself in him, There's not a chance of me going away from him or him away from me, When we kissed" Jongin grinned when Baekhyun awed, "He was holding on to me like he wasn't afraid of the outcome, His grip was so tight as though he wouldn't let go even if he's forced to"

"His fear of skin ship just vanished somehow, He was trying to break all the walls within us, I felt it" Jongin whispered, shaking his head.

"I don't want any single thing to stand between us like the thought of being away from each other never occurs, This is that between us, Everything will fall back in place, I believe so cause I believe in my love and my Sehun"

Jongin ended with a smirk, winking at his best friend who was smiling from ear to ear, "I...Wow" Baekhyun breathed out laughing, "I thought just as much as I love Chanyeol, Nobody's love can compare to how I feel towards him but just now, I don't think my feels beat yours"

Jongin stayed silent before he got up getting his jacket, "Tell him then, Don't wait anymore, Chanyeol might have a reason to back away from his obsession over Sehun ah"

"And he finally would have someone who would love him as him" Jongin growled as Baekhyun smiled, "You care" At his best friend's comment, Jongin just shrugged, "I can't hold grudges for the rest of my life, I want peace so...I can bring peace to Sehun ah too"

"And he apologized, Chanyeol realized his mistake, I think it's time to just let it go from my side but I'd always be reluctant over Sehun against him, That's his decision"

"Then I'm off" He sighed wanting to break away from this conversation soon.

"Where are you going?" Baekhyun asked standing up, "Hospital" Jongin answered tying his shoelaces.

"Why? You just got back" Baekhyun protested, Jongin flashed him a gentle smile.

"Sehun is gonna wake up, I have to be there before then"

"How do you know?"

"I just feel like it"

 

Jongin entered the hospital with a hope, eagerness followed along with his steps and once he reached his destination, Jongin grinned opening it revealing his lover drinking juice with a straw, A frown present on his face.

"Nice to see you again, Sleeping beauty"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update, The next one is the end.


	6. Let me be your mess

_Sehun was in a conflict once his nerves took the best of him, He acted out of feelings immediately concurred Jongin's friendly suggestion, Now as he sat alone on his bed while the thoughts occurred one by one making it diffcult to breath._

_Jongin is a really nice guy, Sehun agrees, He seem pretty harmless, Sehun observed._

_"It would be so rude of me not to talk now" He shakily mumbled to himself, Sehun whimpered laying down with his head in his hands._

_"Why do I end up doing stuff without thinking?" But the thought of having a friend bring a little warmth inside, Just how he enjoyed that little time conversing with Jongin, He can't be giving up again because of his irrelevant notions._

_Sehun should at least try, For once he was risking on facing his own self made restrictions._

  
_His bag slung over his shoulder as Sehun gripped onto the strap tightly anxiously, He stared at the building ahead wanting to take steps further but somehow his feet and legs remained frozen and unmoving._

_Sehun licked his lips nervously out of habit, the series of counting reached about 500 already in his head but he wasn't relaxing._

_Breath in, Breath out._

_A humorless chuckle left his lips at the usual practice on breathing even and just like that it didn't work._

_"Sehun" Jongin called making his presence known but the said guy flinched before looking back and watched Jongin heading towards him._

_The once unmoving feet reacted on their own as Sehun stepped further without any other thought and took off leaving behind a bewildered Jongin._

_Jongin frowned, The greeting died in his throat before he could utter them, he huffed out a weak laugh while staring at Sehun's retreating back._

  
_Sehun clenched his eyes shut in shame and regret, What in the world did he do? He thought over and over again, Even in class his mind wandered back to the early morning event._

_He must've looked so stupid, Sehun sighed deeply, "No doubt, people call me a freak" He whispered under his breath before hiding his face in his arms._

_The professor finished the lecture which Sehun already had took notes of, He watched everyone pack their stuff one by one and at last it was only him present in the room._

_The feeling of loneliness struck him at the very moment, Sehun bit his lower lip playing with the sleeves of his sweater._

_What is this feeling? And why can't he overcome it? Sehun had stayed awake late just wondering about the cause of his condition, In a bundled words, It could be called hypersensitivity._

_He was lost in his world unless he heard the clicking of boots echoing in the empty classroom, He forced himself to sit up and he was glad he did._

_Jongin stood there in the middle, with two cups securely held in his hands "I took a nice guess" He chirped in his melodious voice as he sat before a desk from Sehun facing the latter._

_"Here, It was the only milkshake available for now" Jongin handed the strawberry flavored drink over to the anxious boy who gratefully bowed his head._

_"Don't be so formal, It's not a meeting" Jongin murmured before taking a sip of his own drink._

_"What is that?" Sehun asked something finally and Jongin smiled genuinely, "Orange juice, Want to taste?" He held it out and Sehun instantly shook his head._

_"I...I'm sorry for this morning, I wasn't really... I don't know, I'm just really ashamed, I hope you can forgive me" Sehun stammered but he managed to finish his sentence._

_"It's nothing to worry about, Yes I was taken aback and it was a little..rude?" Jongin questioned himself while keeping an eye on Sehun's expression, "but you shouldn't have left me alone in the middle, I felt like a complete fool, Sehun"_

_Sehun felt like he might cry right then and there, "I'm really sorry, Tell me what I can do to make it up, It was a out of anxiety, I sincerely apologize"_

_Jongin smiled softly, "I was kidding, Sehun, I'm not one bit angry, I understand completely and please don't be so sorry, It's all okay, Seriously" Jongin dismissed in an empathetic tone._

_The feeling of relief washed over Sehun and he sat there listening to Jongin talk while answering softly once in a while, Jongin's voice was soothing and Sehun felt himself at ease whenever he heard it._

  
_"Would it be too much to ask..." Jongin trailed off walking along with Sehun towards the parking lot, The latter was quiet but he instantly turned to the older giving him all his attention and now Jongin felt nervous._

_"If we could like hang out? Outside the university of course" Jongin offered with a faint smile, "Only if that's alright with you, You can say no, Don't hesitate I'll completely understand" Jongin quickly added not wanting to put Sehun in a conflicting situation again._

_Sehun flashed the older a small smile before looking down at his shoes as he walked, "I...Can I have some time? I'll let you know?" Sehun requested blinking a few times before finally looking up to acknowledge Jongin's expressions._

_"Definitely, No rush"_

_"Yixing?" Sehun murmured so quietly but his best friend heard him anyway, "Yes, sweetheart?" Sehun breathed out a chuckle at the pet name as Yixing smiled cheekily beside him._

_"How...How did you felt about me when we just started as friends? Because...b-back in time, It was even more worse considering I was just getting use to that" Sehun asked in a detached voice slightly spacing out in the middle of the sentence but Yixing attentively listened before smiling down at the younger with adoration._

_"You were cute" Yixing started making Sehun whine, "You've said it like million times already, After that?" Yixing fanned Sehun with the book in his hand to calm the younger but Sehun frowned and finally his best friend withdrew._

_"I was persistent, The reason being Kyungsoo cause I wanted to be closer to him but then once I noticed the way you were so distant, Always in your own bubble, Nobody, literally not even once did I saw anyone talk to you or you to them, It made me want to be your friend cause I was there alone too"_

_"Not many could communicate with me cause well language barrier, They always left feeling bored cause of course I didn't knew much to entertain them with and then once again, You were just so simple to please, I just showed you my new jacket and you were all smiles, That made me so happy too, I started appreciating everything I got because you were there to make me feel so much better for something so little" Yixing explained with joy, His dimple deepening as he smiled._

_"You were very reluctant to come around but you did anyway because remember when you said that you really enjoyed my company and that you always have fun and appreciate life with me" Sehun nodded to the memory, "That was your reason, Sehun ah, You wanted to live life"_

_"Same goes for now, Jongin makes you want to live life as much freely as you can, Tad bit jealous of that but even more than me, You've been much opened lately, Can I credit Jongin for that?"_

_"No, All the credit goes to only Sehun" Kyungsoo interrupted leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, "Jongin might just be a reason but Sehun is the cause" His older brother shrugged at his boyfriend's frowning face._

_"Why do you always gotta ruin my moment?" Yixing scoffed._

_Kyungsoo smirked, "You're just trying to take my shine, second hand brother"_

_"Please make him shut up" Yixing huffed glaring at his shorter boyfriend who threw an Innocent smile in return._

_"I need to talk to you guys about something" Sehun placed his problem just to stop the quarrel cause he was getting sick of it when Sehun knew that it wasn't about to end anytime soon._

_"I...I want to go out with Jongin" Sehun said licking his lips but the reaction he received in return were not what he must've expected._

_Both his brother and best friend looked shocked, Sehun didn't understood what was so stunning in what he declared, Kyungsoo opened his mouth but nothing came out._

_"What? Did he asked you to?" Yixing finally regained his composure and questioned, At the nod he lost it again._

_"He kinda texted me today and I might've agreed? Is it okay? What do you think?" The younger asked innocently biting his lip, waiting for the others to say something._

_"Isn't that too soon? Like you guys just met a month ago" Kyungsoo breathed out still in wonder._

_"That is actually pretty late for something like this, Hyung, Its normal in just two weeks" The couple gaped at the younger again._

_"Wow" Yixing whispered, "I second that" Kyungsoo replied._

_"What is it? Why are you guys so speechless? This is not something big, I can take care of myself just fine, I c-can take my dec-cision too" Sehun rubbed his eyes wanting to bite off his tongue, "I really want to, You guys know him, He's so nice, I also feel...secure and safe around him, That's why I'm actually considering the offer"_

_The pair listened to the younger before nodding, "Of course Sehunnie, This is all for you to decide"_

_"We were just really shocked at the sudden news" Yixing added._

_"It's alright" Sehun nodded swallowing, "Jongin would be here by 6 today" Kyungsoo clenched his jaw but stayed silent watching his brother who was looking at his hands with a faint smile on his face._

  
_"Jongin's damn smooth" Yixing croaked out once they were alone in the Kitchen._

_"What smooth? This is not something to just get this over with, It's Sehun we're talking about, Not me, Unlike the situation we had in the car when Sehun confessed he knows about us and this one, They are just one month acquainted and Jongin's already going for dating" Kyungsoo took a deep breath leaning against the kitchen counter._

_"I'll talk to him, Make sure Sehun isn't downstairs by that time" Yixing sighed when his boyfriend nodded to the request and sulked, "I'd give Jongin that, He's not someone to give up" The taller of two sighed again._

_"Do I look okay?" Kyungsoo watched Sehun put on the black jacket over his red flannel shirt, The younger couldn't tie his laces with how much his hands were shaking due to panic "You look great" Kyungsoo complimented, crouching down and did the job for his brother._

_"Sehun ah?" He called and the said guy hummed in response, "Are you really sure about this?"_

_Sehun stared at the shorter before nodding, "I thought about this a lot and I don't want to back away now"_

_Kyungsoo nodded back with a solemn expression, "I'll support you then"_

  
_"I couldn't talk to him cause that jerk was kinda late" Yixing whispered to Kyungsoo who just hummed watching Jongin with hawk eyes, Sehun fidgeted in his place, visibly nervous._

_"Shall we go?" Sehun nodded silently looking back at his brother with concerned eyes, "What's wrong?" He mouthed but the latter only flashed him a grin._

_"Take care of him" Kyungsoo ordered Jongin in a curt voice, Jongin raised his eyebrows in challenge, "He'd have fun tonight, I will make sure of that"_

_"I hope it's the fun I'm thinking of, Then" Kyungsoo waved at his younger brother, eyes throwing daggers at the tanned male who was just as confused._

_Sehun waved back innocently before walking out, Jongin threw them a questioned gaze, "What the heck is wrong with you two? You both make such a stupid couple, do you know that?" Jongin huffed out a laugh mockingly before closing the door behind him._

_"Is he showing off that him and Sehunnie are a better couple?" Yixing asked dumbly and Kyungsoo rolled his eyes._

_Kyungsoo growled in anger plopping down on the couch as his boyfriend patted his back in comfort._

_"What happened with your brother and Yixing?" Jongin asked breaking the silence as he noticed Sehun picking on his jacket's button._

_"I know right? Something was off" Sehun agreed with a worried tone, "Is it because I'm out without them? Could they be very concerned?" Jongin smiled side eyeing the pale boy then shook his head, "I suppose not"_

_"Just trust me?" The older requested gently, voice somewhat raspy._

_"I wouldn't be here if I hadn't trusted you" Sehun breathed out a laugh nervously in need to lighten up the mood, Needless to say, The car ride wasn't so awkward as Sehun worried it'd be._

  
_"It's cold" Sehun commented softly, hands rubbing together to bring them warmth but Sehun shivered hugging himself altogether._

_"Do you want my jacket?" Sehun immediately shook his head at Jongin's offer, He just couldn't wear someone else's clothes, No matter it being Jongin, The thoughts surpassing his already overworked mind wouldn't help either._

_"I'm alright, We can just go inside quickly" Sehun mumbled hurrying to the door without even waiting for Jongin, The latter followed behind with a fond smile._

_"I pondered over what place to take you, Then I could just settle for a good dinner like this, I'm sorry it's not much but I wanted you to have fun while being relaxed" Jongin started looking around the dim lighted aesthete of the mini restaurant._

_It was located on a non crowded area and this was the main reason for Jongin to bring Sehun at the very place, It was decorated a lot nicely from the insides too, bringing a atmosphere of romance as Jongin was seeing it, Candles were perched on every corner with dull lighted fancy lamps hanging from the ceiling, The environment was easy and relaxing all along, Jongin patted himself on the back for at last making a good decision._

_"Thank you so much, It means even more that you were considerate of me, You're a very good person, Jongin, Thank you...for giving..me a chance and talking to me, I...I'll try my best to be a good friend too" Sehun was just very grateful of Jongin cause all these years, Yixing became a family and engulfed the personality more closely of a brother._

_Now finally having a person who's different than the ones he has gotten used to, Sehun would admit he's way much curious to know Jongin but hadn't sorted the order on getting to know him properly._

_The dinner went smoothly, It was a small comfortable talk in between until they walked out and Jongin cursed searching through his pockets, "Shit I left my wallet inside, Wait here, I'll be right back" Jongin assured him and Sehun hummed in agreement, He looked around the peaceful area sighing contently._

_He walked over to the empty road breathing into the fresh air but suddenly he was brought back to a flashback with a very similar surroundings._

  
_Before he knew a bright flash blinded his sight, Sehun's heart pounded in his chest as he backed away slightly "Wow, we got a pretty little thing right here" A guy retorted snickering, He wasn't much older than Sehun's older brother, The raven haired guessed._

_"Did I scare you, pretty boy?" He fake gasped walking closer and Sehun stepped back startled, He dashed to the entrance and on cue the door was pulled open and Jongin emerged out._

_He called the pale boy but the latter flinched and cried out in fright, He swallowed the sob stuck in his throat but tears already brimmed in his eyes for his dismay._

_"Tell him to go away" Sehun pleaded stumbling towards Jongin and hid behind his back, The tan male looked around the area and found it empty just like he left before._

_"Sehun...There's no one" Jongin tried to keep his voice as calm and soft as he can, Turning around was a problem cause Sehun held him there by grabbing his arm tightly._

_Jongin stepped aside despite the other's effort and made him see, "It's only the two of us, Sehun ah" He assured with a smile but the uncertain gaze thrown at him possibly resisted on keeping it there._

_Sehun himself looked around and just as his friend said, "There is nobody" He repeated under his breath over and over again._

_Jongin just watched and briefly observed, "Can we go back?" Sehun suggested hesitantly which was more of a plea and Jongin can never say otherwise._

  
_"How was it?" Sehun jumped, finally coming back to reality as he was brought out of his thoughts, "What?" He croaked out._

_"The outing? Was it...satisfying enough?" Jongin murmured, cursing himself on leaving Sehun alone in the out when he should've known better._

_"Oh, that was really good, I had f-fun and it was very refreshing? yes, thank you" Sehun spoke absentmindedly and it wasn't a chance that Jongin would miss it, The other just hummed swallowing a lump and continued driving in silence._

_Sehun bit on his lower lip trying to get a hold on himself, He can't lose this moment, separating his own illusionary incident the night was one of the few he would love to remember and have again._

_He stared at Jongin side eyed, The other's tense posture and frown made him feel utterly guilty._

_He shut his eyes tight focusing on his labored breathing, Sehun couldn't just keep on letting himself be ruined, he shouldn't be talking on why his life is so messed up when he himself haven't taken action on clearing it either for a while, He has just gotten used to it for all he has gathered himself to be, Thoughts after thoughts swam around in his mind._

_"Let's drop by to the....beach?" Sehun offered with a smile, Waiting patiently for the other to answer, Jongin was quiet shocked at the sudden change in plans, "Its very chilly" He sighed, voice amused "Would you be okay? I mean I'm all in if you'd be fine "_

_"I'd try to be" The raven haired honestly answered then shrugged, "I want to go like really, Say so if you're too lazy to turn around the car?" Sehun tilted his head innocently drawing Jongin to smirk in return_

_"Don't blame me if you end up returning with a cold, Sehun ah" The older warned in a sing song voice making the raven haired roll his eyes in response, "I'll be fine" He insisted and Jongin nodded._

_"You'll be fine" He agreed softly._

_"I want to get married on a beach" Jongin suddenly spoke startling the younger out of his thoughts, Sehun raised his eyebrows but the smile broke in the mock judgmental gaze, "Really? Why?" He asked genuinely curious._

_Jongin internally cooed at how Sehun's eyes shone in interest, just like a excited child._

_The tanned male shrugged, "I'm not fond of grand weddings or gathering people and all, If it's my wedding, It should be the day I'd honestly enjoy and look back fondly, no?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Sehun giggled nodding numerous times._

_"You're right" The younger hummed a big smile on his face, "I like the idea of it too" Jongin suppressed his grin by biting the inside of his cheek, "I'm glad you do"_

  
_The pair arrived back at the house they started from, "Thank you" Sehun breathed out biting his lip nervously, "Like tons of thank you"_

_Jongin laughed shaking his head, "I should be the showing my gratitude, You're the one who did me a favor despite not being fond of it, Thank you so much, Should I keep my hopes up for another plan?"_

_Sehun sniffles chuckling, "Very high" He answered eyes twinkling but just in time he sneezed, holding his head from the impact._

_"Sehun, I told you" Jongin said, voice lacing with worry, "It's alright, It was my choice anyway, It's rebellious you know" The older raised his eyebrows in amusement before a smile beats him to it, "You're... too cute" He ends up uttering without a second thought._

_The raven haired ears turned a slight shade of pink but he had the favor of being cold as an excuse._

_The front door opened quietly, at the sight ahead Kyungsoo might want to pull his brother in and slam the door on Jongin because Sehun was visibly blushing with his head down and the tan male was looking love sick staring at the younger._

_"The door is open, You can come in or you'd prefer to chill outside?" The question was definitely directed at Jongin and the boy himself knew but Sehun shook his head anxiously and got in hurriedly, "I'm sorry I didn't know because I was looking down and-"_

_"Do you really think I'd shut the door on you, Sehun ah?" His older brother made it obvious anyway._

  
_Sehun went upstairs to his room as Jongin bid goodbyes but the older of them all needed explanations._

_"Did you kiss him?" Kyungsoo asked solemnly without beating around the bush, Jongin huffed out a laugh in confusion, "What?"_

_"Did you kiss Sehun?" The shorter asked again, voice getting deadly serious._

_"Why would you think I did? He won't let me neither am I that stupid to go for it now" Jongin explained with a frown but the other seemed unfazed._

_Kyungsoo smirked mockingly, "So you've got the plan settled, How to win him over, How to initiate this or that, Cunning you are"_

_"What the hell are you implying at?" Jongin inched forward, eyes double the challenging._

_"Your relation with Sehun, Why the heck are you rushing it for? At the end my brother would be lost cause having many people around, Being acquainted to them, Being considerate of their feelings and concerns, It'd be too much of a deal for Sehun, He'd be overwhelmed, Or you've thought this over too, you dickhead" Kyungsoo muttered eyes narrowing in anger, Jongin scoffed shaking his head._

_"What am I doing? I won't initiate anything unless I have the positive response from Sehun, okay? We're just friends, hanging around and going out like this is normal, you jerk"_

_Suddenly Kyungsoo went quiet and Jongin can see the gears turning in the other's mind, "Connected the dots?" He hissed, tilting his head watching the older with a glare._

_"Going out with you as in like hanging out" Kyungsoo murmured and Jongin groaned ruffling his hair in need to calm down._

_"I pity Sehun for just one thing, For having you as an elder brother"_

_"Get the fuck out of my house, Now"_

  
_"Sehun, you'll complete this in no time, Just relax" Jongin assured the younger who was on the verge of breaking down in tears._

_"An hour" Sehun choked out, the shakiness in his breathing becoming audible "I have just an hour to finish this, How can I fill these whole 8 pages with proper explanations" He helplessly looked around the accessories shaking his head over and over again._

_"Sehun, Calm down" Jongin needed to ease the building nerves of the younger first but in result it serves him with nothing but rage._

_"How can you tell me to calm down when I have this much to do in just a minimum time, I don't even have them sorted out" Sehun snapped, holding the papers carefully with shivering hands._

_"Jongin" Sehun called him in such a vulnerable tone that the other himself was holding back emotionally, "I can't do this, I'll fail" He uttered out in shock biting his lower lip hard._

_"How can.." He trailed off staring at the papers, voice lost in his throat, His hand made it's way to his arm absentmindedly and he scratched it roughly before Jongin strides forward in panic gripping his hand firmly, Too overwhelmed with anxiety the raven haired couldn't care less for he's himself holding onto Jongin for comfort._

_"Look, If I do the first half, It'd take me about 40 minutes cause I have to separate the dialogues from the narration and then summarize it all, About 4 long pages that'd be" Sehun rambled holding Jongin's sleeves tightly, He licked his lips, eyes wandering around the empty office._

_"Only 20 minutes would be left" Tears streamed down his face as Sehun's eyes finally locked onto Jongin's._

_"Everything will be fine, We can talk to the professor who assigned you, They'd understand, Listen Sehun" Jongin shook the younger by holding his biceps, "Nothing is more important than your health, Many can submit after due and you're not even making excuses, You were gone for check ups they'll give you some more time, Trust me please, Breath" Jongin knows he was panicking on the inside too but nothing would help if he paced around beside Sehun too._

_"Just focus on your breathing, Count...if you feel like" Jongin whispered soothingly as he watched Sehun close his eyes and just breath in and out, This was a first he encountered the younger on the verge of having a panic attack and Jongin would admit it was unnerving._

_"Thank you" Sehun started still a shiver in his body and voice, "For being here and not leaving me to the mercy of a nurse, It happens like this in university every time"_

_"Stop saying thank you, I'd do anything..." Jongin backed away, his own self control slightly wavering by being close to the younger, "for you"_

_Needless to say, The journey of those mere six months, the bonding time of a developing pair, romantic or friendly, That was a story in the hands of fate._  
_But it mustn't be as smooth as it might seem to the outside world, The rapidness of heartbeats at slight imperceptible near presence of other, The fond swell of heart and smite only one could experience when the other was blooming like a flower being joyful, The longing feels just gazing at the other from beside, Fantasies of getting closer and closer, the hushed whispers of intimate desire, It'd take a struggle to contain them all jumbled treasuring it from the heart and hid them well enough by the safety of it._

 

"This is all for you" Jongin muttered walking behind Sehun who was speeding his pace further to get away, "Why don't you understand, Sehun?"

The said guy was still silent.

Jongin has shared the thought of Sehun getting proper treatment and the latter straight up refused on the spot,

So now here they are outside the hospital, both the boys on the brink of bursting out loud from frustration.

"Do you prefer this?" Jongin gruffed wanting to turn the younger around but Sehun himself stopped on his tracks at the question.

"Funny of you to actually ask this, Jongin" Sehun gritted out, now face to face with the said guy, "Nobody wants to live like that, Everybody desires to have a decent life, especially me" His lips quivered but he bit on it to prevent himself from keeping quiet.

"I don't want to be an alien too, I don't want to be seen as an outsider who doesn't even know a single thing about this town when I've lived here my entire life, I wish to go out and get fresh air to soothe my mind, To throw away these negative and irrelevant notions of mine, I wish to hug my mother and my brother whenever I want but..."

"But?" Jongin choked out, eyes fixed on Sehun unblinking.

"But OCD wasn't suppose to be this mind controlling, Not making me reluctant of every action I'm about to do, Not forcing me to repeat various things over and over again even when I'm exhausted I can't stop," Jongin can only see one emotion in Sehun's eyes and this occasion even the tears weren't for any sadness or panic, It appear to be rage and anger.

"Situations like this, When I end up dumping in a hospital bed" The younger breathed out a bitter chuckle, "are when I lose any sort energy left in my body and even then I couldn't stop"

"I've turned my room to absolute disasters when I couldn't remember the orders"

Sehun winced examining his fisted hand where the IV drip was attached, "People have called me a freak, Pushed me to the dirty ground knowing how much terrified I get just by the mere thought of it, I got locked up in small janitor's rooms in pitch black, Do you wanna hear how I felt back there?" Sehun question, a taunting smile directed at Jongin.

"I was bullied, Just when I thought university would be better for now they've matured, You can guess the rest, Jongin ah" The raven haired rubbed his palm roughly against his jeans, wiping his tears with his shirt's sleeve,

"Your brother" Sehun muttered and Jongin clenched his jaw eyes moving downcast on the floor, "Look at me in the eyes, Jongin" Sehun ordered and the tanned male alone shocked by the authority in the younger's tone, He couldn't bring himself to anywhere else but him.

"Chanyeol, Do you know I even suffer along nightmares of that one encounter, when he forcedly kissed me and then left me to almost die" Jongin was left with his mouth hanging open, "I was passed out for about two weeks, It was a nervous breakdown Jongin"

"I could listen everything, Any movement of others but I didn't had the strength of even opening my own eyes, the worst I went through, I heard my uncles calling me a living dead body, I couldn't bring myself to protest either because that's exactly what I was" Jongin stared at his beloved who looked to be made of glass, One touch and he'd shatter all across.

"I heard mom cry and Kyungsoo hyung, He always pleaded me to just open my eyes and talk to him, They were afraid I've died but I am an unfortunate destiny of them, Came back for more troubles but they were happy, treated me like a newborn child"

"No, Chanyeol's your step brother" Sehun mumbled softly, nodding his head for confirmation then Jongin nodded back, words lost in his throat as they swim away in the air.

"I've tried but I'm tired" Sehun said, a hesitant smile present on his lips, "I can't...do more"

"You just did" Jongin announced in a much louder voice and Sehun tilted his head in confusion.

"You have done more than you give yourself the credit for, You didn't stutter not even once, You told me all and without being stopped" Jongin stepped forward and held out his hand.

"You've improved much better, You don't have to go through society, I am your pillar for that, You don't have to merge among people, Just do so enough within the ones you're just stuck with, Like me and your family"

"Don't think more, Just take it, When we kissed and even I was too overwhelmed, You were the one who initiated the real deal, my love" Jongin smiled bright shrugging, "I was lost but you grabbed my hand and pulled me towards yourself you didn't thought, you took your control, The thing which belongs to you and only you" Jongin nudged Sehun's hand and Sehun swallowed before holding the tanned male's hand, entwining their fingers.

"You won't get the hang of it right away, It'd take time but I'm here, We'd go through this together," Sehun tightened the grip over their joined hands.

"Share it with me, everything you're feeling or whatever you're bound to perceive, I'd make sure you lend half the burden to me" Jongin brought the back of Sehun's hand up to his lips and gently pressed them upon it.

"You can live in your comfort zone but make it a comfort too, You don't have to be an outsider because you aren't one, Not in your own home and not with me, We don't need anybody else" Sehun felt his lover's arms snaked around his slim waist as he pecked his nose making him bit on the inside of his cheek to suppress his smile.

"You can do more and you can do enough" Jongin buried his face in Sehun's neck inhaling his scent, "You're not resisting and you didn't even flinch, You still say you haven't come far?" The older mumbled bringing his beloved even closer to him.

"When you've survived through worst, This is nothing, You're stronger than this, giving up...would only bring you to regrets, Sehun ah"

  
"Don't, Don't do anything reckless against Chanyeol, Consider this my request and let it go, I don't want you hurt or frustrated in any way, Please I know you can't settle this down"

"You're so tense and distanced just by the touch, I can sense it" Sehun tightened his hold around the other's waist, burying his face in Jongin's chest, he was panting but he wasn't letting go.

"Please" Sehun pleaded, voice choked out as he maintained to resolve his labored breaths.

 

  
Sehun still refuses to get help from a psychiatrist, He's willing to be better but on his own and with the help of his loved ones, He joked as a reminder of hospital being near if anything happens, Nobody laughed but Sehun still held a genuine smile.

  
"You have a grip on your thoughts, Your way of perceptions, Your willingness and none of that, If something is misplaced it could be put to the place later, Littlest things doesn't seem out of place" Jongin whispered in his ear from behind, Chest pressed to the younger's back as Sehun leaned against him relaxed.

 

  
"If anyone's gonna touch you, They aren't harming you, Judge from the actions Sehun ah, They could be moving forward to show you love, Do you ever believe your mother, Your Kyungsoo Hyung and Yixing could hurt you?" The younger instantly shook his head, "Then initiate it, They're too cautious near you, let them know you're completely okay and then you'd see how okay you are"

  
"They're the people to protect you, not hurt, You can let your guard down, I promise you"

 

Jongin sang in his mellifluous voice and the beautiful smile of his lover adorning one's features as he leaned forward, elbows resting atop the railing.

"Gorgeous, The gorgeous male from the hallway" Sehun uttered out before he could stop himself, "Huh?" Jongin raised his eyebrows in confusion before slightly narrowing them.

"Gorgeous male?"

"That was you, I addressed you as that in my mind when I didn't kn-new your na-ame" Sehun confessed in a rush before Jongin could misunderstand yet he knew his cheeks has already enveloped the crimson shade but he turned away a little looking at the moon

"Gorgeous male from the hallway" Jongin breathed out.

Sehun clenched his eyes shut in embarrassment, "Jongin, shut up and look away"

"Why?" Sehun rolled his eyes and his lover gaped at him, "That's the first time you've rolled your eyes at me"

"Considering your behaviour, It might be more from now on" Sehun side eyed Jongin with a smirk playing on his lips.

"I don't like this, I really don't"

 

  
Kyungsoo and Sehun can sense the hesitancy of their mother towards Yixing and Jongin, She wasn't completely open about the matter still.

  
But she have accepted it, For the sake of her sons and family, more especially Sehun's health and the siblings couldn't ask for anything better, She was coming around and they have given her the time she needed, Be it forever.

  
It has been a year since Jongin made his special spot in Sehun's dull life and heart, Their relationship still doesn't have a label yet it was beyond that reach, Action speaks louder and the pair has made certain to aware each other.

  
"Where is Sehun?" Kyungsoo gruffed looking around the house in panic, "What do you mean where is he? Sehun ah texted me to come by" Jongin said but his heart started racing without his control.

"Has he gone out? alone?" Kyungsoo murmured, face pale.

  
"He- He can take care of himself" Jongin knew he was convincing himself more than the other, even his voice wasn't helping him.

"He's trying and had succeeded enough but he hasn't straight up defeated it, Jongin, He still has breakdowns, He cries all night saying he's okay again and again, I've heard it and you too, We both know better" Kyungsoo snapped turning around and grabbed his car keys, groaning when he dropped it on the ground.

  
On cue, The main door's knob turned and the younger rushed in panting, Sehun closed the door behind him swallowing a lump as he took huge deep breaths.

"Oh my God" Sehun breathed out, huffing out a laugh.

Opening his eyes, He came to the sight of his older brother on the ground with eyes wide in shock, on other hand Jongin, who was looking at him like he had gone crazy.

It was tough, So difficult but he made it through, Sehun went to the supermarket alone and came back safe to his home, He won't deny that he still needed to stop between the road.

Sehun absentmindedly bent down and sat down on the floor beside his brother holding out his freezing hand, the other immediately cupped it with his both hands rubbing them together for warmth.

"I got this" Sehun told Jongin who was too silent, pushing a shopper towards his way.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jongin gritted out glaring at him.

"Don't give me this look, I'm sensitive enough already also I still haven't gotten my breath properly" Sehun said, drawing his right hand back from Kyungsoo's hold, "Warm this one now" He offered the other one and the older did as he was told with a faint smile.

"Where did you go?" Jongin asked.

"The market around the corner, I wanted to get you something, The year anniversary was a week before but I was thinking too much for a gift"

"Also I wanted to give you guys this surprise, I went alone, I could do it" Sehun smiled, glancing at his brother who smiled back warmly.

"It really was one hell of a surprise, I'm so proud of you, Sehun ah" His voice indicated he was about to cry.

Sehun then turned to Jongin, eyes hopeful for a praise, "Come on, I worked hard" He whispered.

"Proud is an understatement at what I feel right now, You've come so far" Jongin bent down moving forward to give the younger a kiss but Kyungsoo beat him to it as he helped Sehun stand up.

"The floor is hard to sit on" The older answered as the excuse.

  
"Open up" Sehun ushered him to tear the wrapper apart, "Jongin, Why are you so slow?" He whined and the other pouted, "It just isn't coming off"

At last, Jongin torn the entire shopper and a loose gray turtleneck sweater laid there with a simple silver paper plane locket.

Sehun laughed out loud at Jongin's expression, "I got us matching things" He walked across excitedly but tripped on the carpet, Jongin stood up in concern but the younger was giggly reaching forward to his closet, The tanned male couldn't help but laugh too.

Sehun took out a loose black turtleneck sweater with the same locket.

"See" He held it out for his lover to notice properly, "We'll wear this together for tomorrow, Don't say no, I'll force you in it" Sehun said softly, The younger was so polite spoken and voice always came too soothing yet he says such threatening things with endearing innocence.

"Have I said no? It's cool"

"Don't worry, I'll be beside you, We're being losers together, Take the burden you promised?" Sehun bit his lip expectingly.

"It isn't a burden, Sehun ah, It's... being losers together" Sehun chuckled softly, He stared at Jongin with a fond smile and blew him a kiss from where he stood.

"On next anniversary if I'm lucky to have you then still, I'll give y-you a real kiss" Sehun promised.

  
They've kissed once and for all, Sehun is improving and he'd peck Jongin on the cheek shyly and turn away for 15 minutes in embarrassment making Jongin never try again, It's for Sehun to initiate and the other is willing to wait, Be it forever.

 

  
Jongin opened the door to his apartment and the person standing before him made his blood boil instantly, "What do you want?" He gritted out and Chanyeol shook his head.

"I'm not here to fight, I have to talk to you" He said and Baekhyun peaked from behind the taller's back at his best friend who raised his eyebrow at his begging hands.

"Come in" Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol inside before Jongin even finished his sentence, "Please, I beg you, be polite" Baekhyun whispered to his best friend in a pleading voice, Jongin just closed the door with a bang startling the shorter.

"Asshole" Baekhyun muttered and Jongin nodded.

"That's exactly what he is" He spoke out loud nudging his head in Chanyeol's direction.

 

Jongin stood cross armed before the pair sitting on the couch nervously, "He told me all, About Sehun and what he did and whatever the poor boy had to go through" Baekhyun started, looking back and forth between his best friend and crush.

"And you're fine with it?" Jongin asked in disbelief, "No, oh no, hell no" Baekhyun rushed to defend himself as he shook his head repeatedly.

"But he's guilty" Jongin let out a bitter chuckle tilting his head to look at Chanyeol, "Are you now? I don't have a say in this, That's for Sehun to decide"

 

"That's why we're here, He can't just straight up go to Sehun and apologize, Would that work? Won't the poor boy freak out?" Baekhyun reasoned standing up and making Jongin sit down as he kneeled before him holding his hand.

"I understand, I do" Baekhyun gulped before sighing, "It was so difficult to get through his perspective but I did and he's extremely guilty, Talk to Sehun if you can cause he's the judge of it"

"I know I did wrong, utterly wrong, To you and Sehun" Chanyeol started, rubbing his hands together anxiously, "I even tried to go over to him to talk and repent for my actions but he was just so terrified to even walk across the same hall as me, I heard whatever happened to him, I spend my nights awake in panic and guilt also his face was stuck on my mind, They said he was just like in a coma"

A tear rolled down the taller's cheek as he explained with his head down in shame, "Some even said he can't make it cause I went to the hospital every single day to see and...it was killing me alive, I even decided to end my own life if Sehun...won't come back alive for it was entire my fault he was in the situation to begin with"

"I never wanted that, I'm being honest here, I still have feelings for him, I really do but I'm now thinking rationally and letting go cause this won't work, I'd only end up hurting any person in between" Chanyeol looked up, voice wavering and eyes glassy as he made eye contact with his step brother.

"For you, I don't know anything, It was mere lust I felt at that moment, Him being disloyal was not my fault though yet taking it further was, I'm so fucking sorry for that cause I knew you really liked him but I'm still gonna say he wasn't worthy of you" Chanyeol swallowed shrugging, "That's all I have to say"

"What about Baekhyun?" Jongin asked finally making the pair look at him in shock, "How do you feel about him?"

Baekhyun unconsciously tightened the grip on his best friend's hand and Jongin squeezed back for support.

"I...I'm not gonna lie, I had no feelings for him like that, I just saw him as a friend but when he confessed, I felt like it was a way, a road opened for the right direction cause all in the past I've done is walk on misery and disappointments for others" He paused.

"I'm trying...to have a good life with him cause apart from him nobody would've accepted me, I really like Baekhyun cause I developed feelings for him by time, I promise I won't hurt him in anyway" Chanyeol smiled faintly at Baekhyun who was glancing at his best friend for confirmation like it was his father.

"Yeah cause if you did that'd be my last straw and nobody would see you walking on earth" Jongin sighed angrily, Baekhyun tapped him for attention and he shrugged, "I'll talk to him and it's up to him again"

"I understand, Thank you for even listening to me" It wasn't that Jongin had a lot of patience, He doesn't; It was just Sehun's voice constantly backing him away from hurting Chanyeol in any way.

 

  
Kyungsoo opened the door to their house and sighed mockingly seeing Jongin, "Fuck off" The latter muttered making him smirk.

"Sehun?" He asked and Kyungsoo motioned upstairs, He stopped in his tracks at the door upon watching the scene before him, Yixing was hugging Sehun tightly whispering something to him and he was sniffling?

"What's wrong?" Jongin asked Kyungsoo who smiled fondly at the pair of hugging best friends, "Sehun told him about his visit to the market yesterday, He has been like this since, It's been 15 minutes already"

"I'm so proud of you, Sehun ah, You have no idea" Yixing mumbled aloud withdrawing his arm from the younger as he wipes his tears, Sehun smiled wiping his own glossy eyes, "Thank you"

"Hey, Why do you always make him cry by being too emotional?" Jongin cut in to the touching moment and Yixing scoffed.

"Hey, Great choice Sehun, suits him a lot" Yixing commented dismissing his previous question.

"You look great" Sehun giggled making Jongin smile at him playfully, "Likewise"

 

"I have to talk to you about something" Jongin started solemnly once they were alone and Sehun's smile vanished in a heartbeat, "What is it?"

Jongin knew it was gonna be too hard to explain it to Sehun no matter how many times he practiced to word it correctly.

"Are you...fed up from me?" Sehun assumed tilting his head searching for Jongin's eyes, "Say it"

"What? Fuck no!" Jongin yelled making the younger flinch, "Shit, I'm messing up"

"Listen Sehun ah," Jongin held Sehun by his shoulders as he continued "getting tired of you and leaving you, They are not an option for me and never will be, I love you and I mean it truthfully every time I say it to you, This is....about Chanyeol" Sehun tensed up immediately just by the mention of the said guy.

"What about him?" The raven haired breathed out backing away from the other's touch but then again Sehun held Jongin's hand in his trembling ones, "Did you get into a fight? Please say no" Sehun whispered reaching out a hand to inspect his lover's face.

Jongin grabbed Sehun's hand and kissed his palm before smiling widely, "Don't worry, I won't do anything you wouldn't want, He came to talk"

Sehun let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, "Are you okay with him talking to me?" Jongin asked amused.

"He's your step brother, still your family, Why would I hold you back from doing so" Sehun answered closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Was it about me?" The younger asked eyes still clenched shut and breathing heavily before letting it go.

"Yes" Sehun nodded, "Alri-ight"

"What did he said?"

"Apologized"

"For?"

"For everything"

  
Jongin told Sehun from the start to end all detailed, The blank look he received from the raven haired was making him anxious now.

"He just told me to tell you this, He'd understand and wanted to explain this on behalf of him" Jongin explained, watching the other carefully.

"What do you think? Should I just forget everything he did or made me go through" He sucked in a sharp breath, "And just forgive him?"

"Nobody is saying that but holding on to this won't help anyone especially you, You'd keep dwelling onto the past and hurt yourself over and over again" Jongin said reaching out for the younger's hand but he withdrew instantly.

"You're... You're siding him" Sehun chuckled and shook his head, "It won't help anyone but it certainly would hurt my remaining self respect and pride cause I've built myself up on them, I just can't forgive him"

"Then why did you held me back on confronting him?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt, I have nothing to do with him, I want to live my life not thinking about him and what he did or what I had to suffer from because of him" Sehun snapped standing up and his legs wobbled but Jongin gripped his arm tightly yanking him back to him.

"Do it for yourself, This is what you want and you know it, You want him to repent and Sehun ah, as I saw him he would be willing to beg for it to--"

"The pain is still fresh in my mind and heart, even if I were to forgive him i can never forget neither vanish the memories" Sehun interrupted him harshly, pushing Jongin's chest but the latter grabbed them tightly, eyes boring into the paler's.

  
"You can't do it, Nobody can Sehun ah, The thing which counts is for your heart to actually let it go and not bother anymore whenever you think about it, Looking back at it and realize how strong you've become and how tough you were to get past it not what he did made you turn so weak and the pain shooting through you made it too harder to live, Not that-- definitely not that" Jongin muttered letting go Sehun and backing further away.

"I'm sorry" Jongin sighed, licking his lips as he ran a hand through his hair, "I..I'm sorry" He apologized again stepping backwards until his back hit the door.

Sehun watched him with glossy eyes biting onto his lower lip, "Do you really want me to forgive him that bad?"

Jongin winced, swallowing the lump in his throat to get some words out but nothing.

"It's up to you...." Jongin trailed off staring into space as another series of words died before they came out.

Sehun just watched him briefly, Jongin seemed dazed.

 

"Some time? Can you tell him to give me some time?" Sehun whispered rubbing his palm against his arm but, later he didn't even knew it were his nails scratching the skin roughly.

"I don't want you to feel burdened, God no, I'm just trying to..." Jongin groaned when he felt lost again and couldn't word his thoughts.

"I know I understand, I need time" Sehun mumbled softly, "Sehun what are you doing?"

"Huh?" Jongin was in front of him in a heartbeat and removing his hand from his arm,

looking down at it and he saw blood.

Blood is something he doesn't like, at all.

Sehun's eyes widened and he backed away from Jongin's touch and held out his arm, "I scratched it that badly? It's oozing out this...red thing" Sehun panted, bottom lip quivering.

Sehun felt dizzy as he sat down and stared up at the ceiling chest heaving and he can hear the rapid beating of his heart too.

Jongin kneeled down beside him seconds later with a towel and cleaned the dried blood on his arm. Sehun just watched with tears on the brim.

"They called me a crybaby cause I cry a lot but I don't have control over this Jongin, Do you not like it too? Do you think I'm like a baby? Does that irritate you?" Sehun asked in a hushed tone and Jongin shook his head in reply.

Jongin set the towel aside and kept his gaze down, His lips quivered and eyes brimmed with his own set of tears and would it be just alright if he let go this time?

So he did cause it was Sehun and he would never judge Jongin for anything and Jongin felt as he was home, a real one where he was accepted and warm and loving and so addicting.

Jongin cried dropping his head onto Sehun's knee, The younger was brought out of his hazy state at his lover's breakdown, Sehun was panicking he knows but there was a chant in his mind, Jongin needs him like he always needs the other.

Jongin wrapped his arms around Sehun's waist and buried his face in the latter's flat stomach, and he cried his heart out.

 

  
Jongin laid on the bed with his head comfortably settled on Sehun's lap who was gently running his fingers through the tanned male's soft hair slowly lulling him to sleep.

It would have come as a surprise to anyone encountering the recent situation for it wasn't Sehun who broke down and neither was it Jongin who helped him get control over his nerves, For once it was the other way around.

"Are you okay?" Sehun whispered leaning a little forward to inspect his lover's face, It was quite a shock even to himself how well organized he reserved his self when Jongin set down to his mercy, He felt as if he were normal as if he could take the risk and willed himself to go for more, He didn't panic; the only panic surrounding his clouded mind was the mantra to support the older and give him the hand as he has been doing so to the younger all the while.

Jongin just hummed and Sehun felt his heart sink at the bottom, "What happened? Tell me" He urged tapping the tanned male's head a little before he resumed the movement of his fingers again.

"Overwhelmed....with emotions" Jongin murmured, "Is that how you feel every time?" He questioned absentmindedly and Sehun sighed not answering just kept staring at the tanned male's side profile.

"If I was ever in your shoes, I'd have gone crazy...You're so strong Sehun ah" Jongin mumbled and Sehun couldn't take it anymore.

"This isn't about me Jongin, It's about you, Have you...thought of ever letting me in? cause as far as we both have come I don't know much about you and I've told you my deepest secrets" Jongin moved away to take a better look at the younger's face and he looked distressed.

"Why won't you let me in? Don't you trust me?" Sehun bombarded the other with heavy questions despite him being lost in the mind all along, "Tell me how you feel, You're human too, I could take your burdens too" Sehun cupped Jongin's face in his hands before licking his lips ready to get those words out.

"I can lend you my shoulder for support, I could take it" The younger nodded along as he was convincing the other to share, "It can't be just you, No I can't always take I'm willing to give, I'd do whatever in my hands to make you lean on me, You can trust me for I've walked along with my own burden and be it my existence, I was let down"

"I could show you that I'm capable," Sehun swallowed in between, a lump forming just after weighing his words down but he can't just stop, not now.

"that you could also rely on me, We could cry together cause seeing you break down, I'm sorry but it feels like as my strength has been torn, You..are my strength" Sehun whispered thumbing at Jongin's lips in concentration.

"You can let it out and I'm more than willing to listen, Be it anything useless even, I'm here so don't shut yourself down and not just focus on me It should be us not only one of us, Together" The younger's hands trembled as he leaned in to kiss his lover's forehead.

"Remember being losers together" He tugged at Jongin's shirt and tilted his head smiling sweetly.

"You ruined the moment, Sehun ah" The said guy laughed as he turned and rested his forehead against Jongin's.

"Well then you can teach me how to keep the moment going longer" Sehun pecked Jongin's lips and closed his eyes again.

 

  
"Baekhyun said the first Chanyeol mentioned anything about him talking things out or making amends with me was when he drove them to the studio" Jongin started eyes glued to the stars, They went out to the nearest park, minds overwhelmed and fresh air with the whole night sky above them was what they might be desiring.

They both seated on swings yet not moving.

"Where we danced and you remember the rest" Sehun hummed biting the inside of his cheek and turned his head to stare at Jongin's side.

"Obviously it was to drop me low in their eyes since he preached to all of us that you are his boyfriend" Sehun knows his face was still blank and when Jongin glanced at him, the other mirrored the exact same features.

"It was a lie and you knew it from the start, You doubted it you said so before" Sehun whispered softly and it was Jongin's turn to hum along.

"What can I say? I'm a great observer" Sehun felt his lips stretch into a slight smile but the other continued, "He knew the place and what it meant for me, Chanyeol came by to talk it out but no guts whatsoever thus he did that for attention again"

"But you shrugged it off like always" Sehun interrupted and Jongin laughed weakly, "I did, in front of you"

Sehun frowned, "Please elaborate"

"I couldn't sleep for days thinking about it over and over, What he did or why you're so tense around him, You had problems with people and interactions but reactions for Chanyeol were different"

"You finally told me back then" Jongin murmured, tilting his head to look at Sehun clearly.

"I don't have a close relation with my brothers, They are too busy to even get along like a family anymore" Sehun bit onto his lower lip as he grasp the chain to balance himself.

"After mom's...death" Jongin swallowed before letting out a shaky chuckle, "I'm still very emotional on that matter, I apologize" Sehun shook his head immediately, "What did I say about this, Jongin?"

The said guy didn't respond before a smile stretched on his lips, "You....make me feel like home" Jongin whispered under his breath softly out of blue.

"They forgot about her once they all got settled, Father got married to Chanyeol's mother and my brothers, they got along with her just fine but not me, I was still very devastated over my loss, I felt anger and rage every time I would see them gathered around laughing and spending time like a happy family as if my mother never existed"

Jongin clenched his jaw but his gaze were fixated on the sky above, "I even confronted my brothers for it, Their answers being life doesn't go on sulking over someone who isn't gonna come back, ever" He shook his head pressing his trembling lips together,

"I understood that part but letting them go as that person was never a part of your life, They never talked about her, I don't care if I sound like a whiny child but I was disturbed by that, It wasn't the same anymore"

"All I thought about was running away from that house, It felt strange, too out of place for someone like me" Jongin then finally turned his head to Sehun and his eyes bored into his lover's.

"Everybody too busy with their lives to actually notice their baby brother having crisis with his depressing self, I heard a lot from behind, You gotta move on, we all have to go one day we'll die and nobody would remember us"

"Then my mother was actually special cause I couldn't seem to forget about her" Sehun quickly wiped the tears escaping his eyes as he listened to Jongin carefully.

"At last, I got ahold on that, I remembered her in everything happy cause crying won't do any of us good, I know life doesn't end like this but it really changed to a whole new level, Never did thought that my family which I named an ideal one could turn so apart where nobody has the encouragement or time to bring it back together"

"Losing a loved one, Thousands may have experienced it but we all know how much that affects one's life or change it, You can't hold onto it but once in a while you'd remember how it happened, why and what not" Jongin sighed, eyes tightly shut as he hanged his head down.

"I don't want to lose you, Sehun, never ever" Jongin choked out still not moving an inch, "You won't, never ever" Sehun replied getting up from the swing and tapping Jongin's knee.

"Let's go back" Sehun suggested holding out his hand and Jongin took it in a second.

"Your hand is trembling" Jongin commented as they walked back, The raven haired chuckled nervously, "Probably because we've never..." He gulped, shrugging "I mean held hands that long" Sehun excused looking down at the floor.

"No" Sehun protested when Jongin was about to withdraw his hand, The younger intertwined his fingers around the other's tightly, "It's nice, So don't" He licked his lips before smiling at his lover, "Don't let go"

 

  
"Be my boyfriend" Jongin requested which sounded more like an order but either way, Sehun dropped the cup on the sink loudly and he clenched his eyes shut at the hideous noise it occurred in the process.

"Relax" Jongin murmured in his ear from behind and Sehun wanted to laugh at his words and actions cause it doesn't match and the other knows it pretty well, he breathed out a chuckle against the younger's neck making Sehun stiff on the place.

"Say? be my boyfriend, would you?" Jongin asked trapping sehun against the counter with his front pressing to the latter's back.

"Hm?" he hummed dropping his forehead atop Sehun's shoulder, "Come on, Reject me if you want so I can cry in peace after kicking you out" Jongin laughed as Sehun slapped his arm.

"First, let me breath" Sehun mumbled and waited.

"Okay" Jongin agreed without moving from his spot, "So move?" Sehun tugged on his arm's sleeve, The older huffed and moved away giving him the space he asked for.

They stared at each other for a minute like idiots, no words shared and Jongin raised his eyebrows questioningly, "I'm confident but should I not be? Are you really going to put me down?"

"No" Sehun denied straight away and tilted his head, "I thought...we already were" Jongin's eyes widened as a smirk played on his lips, "Yeah?" he provoked and Sehun groaned.

"Okay"

"If we were already boyfriends cause damn yeah we are" Jongin sighed dramatically, Sehun watched him carefully cause that smirk, that damned smirk was making him anxious.

"Then let's be fiances now, Marry me" Jongin offered going down on his knees, "I can't put pressure on one, It hurts"

Sehun panicked and backed away, "No, get up, Get up from the floor" He waved his hands in the air motioning the other to stand up, "Jongin, I'll get a heart attack at this rate"

"Calm down my love" Jongin said lovingly, "What is it?"

"It's too much at once, It's marriage Jongin ah" Sehun breathed out shaking his head, "Get up"

"Don't we have to get married anyway?" Jongin asked from the floor now sitting cross legged, "Okay okay, Calm down I'm just kidding"

"You don't look like you're joking" Sehun accused and Jongin shrugged.

"Cause I'm not but let's pretend I am and seriously calm down Sehun ah" Jongin got up with a groan, "Damn my back, See I'm getting old and you're not marrying me, What? Would you tie knots with my fossils?"

"Jongin!"

 

  
Baekhyun was sprawled across Jongin's bed and he waited, for the other to say something considering Chanyeol's matter but it went nowhere since Jongin was busy on his laptop.

"Hey" Baekhyun whispered and got up on his elbows, Jongin hummed without looking up, "Look at me" He requested and the latter chuckled before closing the device and setting it aside.

"Don't confess your undying love for me now, It's too late" Baekhyun rolled his eyes and sat up messing with his shirt's sleeve, "Did you talk...to Sehun?"

Jongin let out an ah and leaned back on the swivel chair before nodding, "I did actually and he's kind enough to take it into consideration, Wasn't at first but I think he's definitely thinking about it now"

"Oh, Thank you so much Jongin" Baekhyun grinned as relief spread across his face.

"Shouldn't that be Chanyeol saying that?"

"He's too guilty for that, he's actually...last night" Baekhyun swallowed and shook his head.

"What is it, Baek?" Jongin questioned getting up and kneeling before his best friend, "What did he do?" He growled and Baekhyun shook his head again and again.

"You're crying" Jongin hugged the shorter comforting him "What happened, Baekhyun?"

The serious change of tone in the younger intimidated the shorter and he backed away, "He loved Sehun and probably still does" Jongin clenched his jaw and scoffed, "Sure"

"As he said, he's letting go and...I'm sorry but I'm just envious of Sehun, Chanyeol is trying and at making me happy too but last night he was crying apologising to Sehun again and again, even calling out to him in sleep"

"I really don't know how should I feel, Jongin ah" Baekhyun mumbled and wiped his tears away, "I'm sorry for the rant, I just needed a support and I could rely on you?"

"Of course, you moron" He pulled the other in a hug again.

  
Jongin's phone rang and he let it focusing on his best friend but Baekhyun pulled away and insisted on taking the call saying he was fine and it could be Sehun and of luck, It was his beloved.

"Jongin ah?" Sehun called softly.

Jongin felt himself relax just by hearing the other's voice, "Here, love" He answered.

 

  
Sehun again had the nightmare and the first person he called was Jongin, It might not be taken as normal but he chants his lover's name when he's panicking for just the mere mention of the tanned male bring him to peace.

It was Chanyeol's dream again making his heart thunder in fear and sheer panic.

Would it be fine if he let that go for good?

Could it be that Jongin was right?

That everything would become how he wants it to be.

So he did, Sehun was ready to let go, Be it now or never.

 

  
Jongin had his arms around Sehun's waist as he hesitantly poured the syrup over pancakes he made, "Is this enough?"

"Perfect" Jongin complimented kissing his boyfriend's neck but the other was focused on presenting the plate clean and well organized.

"It looks okay?" He asked again in his low voice,

"This is the most well made breakfast plate I've ever got served in, honestly I don't want to touch it cause it just looks so yummy"

Sehun's cheeks warmed up and he detached himself from his boyfriend's hold shooing him out of the kitchen, "Let's practice, If we lived together how it's gonna be, You'll go out for work and I'll make you breakfast cause I won't do anything which applies random people around me"

Jongin laughed out loud making his way back to the living room as he seated himself on the dining table placed at the corner, "Come on honey, I'm getting late" He played along, a wide grin stretched across his lips.

Sehun giggled face palming himself, "Shut up please" He requested softly making Jongin laugh again, "Sure if you're asking so nicely"

"It's done" He whispered to himself and took the tray balancing everything atop it.

"Damn shit" Jongin cursed as his mouth watered at the sight, "I swear I've never eaten this good breakfast for years"

"I...Kyungsoo hyung taught me cause I asked him so" Sehun answered, cheeks enveloping a soft pink shade, "Taste it"

They ate the breakfast together, Jongin complimenting Sehun's cooking skills with every bite but the latter was lost in his own thoughts.

"What is it, Sehun ah?" Jongin asked mouth full of food, His eyes widened as he chewed quickly, Thanking God that Sehun didn't saw him for the other will be too disturbed, Jongin need to learn how to shut up while eating.

"Is this how it's gonna be?" Sehun mumbled, putting pressure on the inside of his palm as he stared into space.

"Us, like this if....we get married" He let it out making Jongin set his glass of juice down, "I know it's out of blue yet that's the only I've been thinking about since your joke"

"Which wasn't a joke to begin with" Sehun added later huffing out a nervous chuckle, "It must be nice, It...would feel nice"

"Then should I...keep my hopes up?" Jongin questioned, eyes wide as Sehun smiled shrugging.

"Have I ever done something to let your hopes down?" Jongin's breath hitched as his eyes widened more in realization.

"Oh God"

 

 

  
"How are they? in nature?" Sehun fidgeted on his seat as Jongin drove them to his place, "Kyungsoo hyung is already there with Yixing" Sehun informed holding his phone tightly in his hand.

"I'd be fine, right?" He asked shrinking in almost hiding himself in the passenger seat, "You'd be great, There's nothing to worry about" Jongin placed his hand on his Sehun's knee, squeezing it slightly.

"This is just a formality dinner with you as my fiance, Your family meeting mine" Jongin stopped the car and turned to Sehun fully, "Chanyeol would be there too, I know you've forgiven him and we have met once in a while yet it's out in the daylight how you're holding up your breath every time"

 

"So it's okay, We'll all be there. I won't let anybody hurt you and I'd be by your side the entire time, Chanyeol will be there but I know you're coming through it, You'll be alright my love" Jongin finished with a peck on his flustered boyfriend's cheek and drew back to smile at him warmly.

Yes, he forgave Chanyeol, with a heavy heart but he ended up talking to him without having his feelings taking the best of him. Sehun feels proud of himself for he'd have never thought he could talk face to face confidently with the tall male and that too about him begging for his pardon.

Sehun wouldn't say he has gotten over his past and as if seeing Chanyeol once in a while didn't sent him into an on guard mode but as Jongin always praised him, he's getting there.

 

"Let's show them what a power couple we are" That brings a smile to his boyfriend -- now fiance's lips.

 

"I did a favor to your mother, Now before they're boss and manager, They'd be in laws first" Jongin said joyfully eyes only on Kyungsoo as he uttered those words.

Kyungsoo clapped his hands with a straight face, Yixing smiled amusedly at his husband before giving Jongin a pointed look, to say "shut up".

 

They graduated 6 months ago and Jongin proposed to Sehun on their graduation night with a simple band promising to try harder and slip a worthy ring on his committed finger.

The younger brother got engaged but the elder set his wedding date right after, Needless to say that year was pretty hectic from overly hyper emotions.

Their mother, Whether she was happy or still stiff over the bondings, She cried her heart out at both news enveloping her sons in a warming hug and Sehun could say that was a genuine smile he witnessed on her lips.

  
"Jongin ah" A soft voice called over behind them and the said guy closed his eyes before sighing and faced the person with a small smile.

"Good evening, Hyung" Sehun watched his fiance exchange formal greetings to his "hyung" and he froze in his place when Jongin glanced at him with a smile and he turned slowly to see Jongin's older brother.

"Sehun ah, This is Junmyeon Hyung" He stood up immediately in a hurry to bow to his soon-to-be brother in law.

"Okay" Junmyeon tilted his head and smiled softly at the pair, "You might take the title of the power couple in the family from me and jessica, now"

"It was always clear that mere belonged to me and my life partner yet you insisted and I had to lend you for the time being, Hyung, that label was ours from the start"

  
"Yeah, yeah, go off" Junmyeon smiled at Sehun, seeing the raven haired was not very easy with the bickering so he congratulated them again before excusing himself.

"You alright, love?" Jongin whispered to him and he nodded with a strained smile, "You don't seem so"

"I'm just very nervous"

Jongin smiled softly before dropping a kiss to the younger's temple and hummed when he heard his name being called again.

"You're pretty popular in your house" Kyungsoo commented taking a sip of his drink and Jongin shrugged, "You are when you drop by once in a while out of blue and if you're forgetting I might have to remind you again, it's my engagement party"

"That too, with your brother" He added with a smirk and Kyungsoo smiled softly, "Shame" he huffed out with a laugh alongside Jongin.

Sehun glanced behind himself at Yixing and found his best friend - brother in law looking back at him, "We married idiots" He mouthed to him and Sehun giggled out loud making all of them look like a happy newlywed pairs.

 

"It felt like a business meeting more than a family dinner" Jongin started making Sehun hum along "Expect it to be like this if we're ever having a get together at my father's house"

"They were sweet" Sehun said and Jongin cleared his throat.

"They gotta, no?"

"Jongin, You can't turn yourself away from your own family like this every time, We have to-"

"I'd actually feel nothing even if they disown me"

"What are you saying? Do you even know what are you going about?"

"Please, Not about them again, Whenever we have this discussion one of us ends up pissed"

"And that's always you" Sehun retorted.

  
"Sehun, you know me and I've told you everything in detail and did you not notice the way all of us were too stiff and formal, Had it bring you any homey feel? Did it made you feel welcomed? Well it didn't to me, It felt like dad was just getting this done with"

"Minseok Hyung and Junmyeon Hyung's engagement ceremony's were held in that huge company of his, He was proudly bragging about his sons marrying and maturing and whatnot" Jongin snorted rolling his eyes as he recalls their last conversation.

"and he thinks he did me a huge favor by inviting me to that big house of his and saying those sweet nothings offhandedly in the air, Why? because I'm not marrying a girl, that I did what I wanted to do again, that I have no interest in his business and I'd rather die than get help from him" Jongin growled, knuckles almost turning white by his tight grip over the steering wheel.

  
"Dad was looking at you like..., Fuck!" he cursed in anger as the tan male stopped the car in front Sehun's house.

"Like I was a freak, I know" Sehun completed with a gentle voice, "But Jongin, I'm used to it and I don't want-"

"But I do!" Jongin boomed turning towards his fiance in rage, "He has no right to point his judgmental gaze at you like that, He's my father but he got nothing on you, I'd forget who they are when it's anything related to my husband, I don't care whatever their excuse is but nobody gets away if they mean harm to you"

"Hell, you're much much better than his son" Jongin roared dropping his head back onto his seat, eyes shut. "I wanted to hang up on him when he called to confirm if I'm serious about marrying a guy" He laughed humorlessly "He didn't knew he had faggot for a son"

"and my brothers, his puppets" Jongin spat as his bottom lip quivered, "Forget it"

"You are my family, only you" Sehun shifted before Jongin felt a weight over his lap, The younger wrapped his arms around his fiance's neck before he dipped his head and claimed his lips.

Jongin was shocked, that'd be an understatement much to the conclusion.

The younger cupped his cheek with one hand while pressing the other onto his fiance's heart which was thumping rapidly under his palm and Sehun smiled into the kiss.

"What?" Jongin asked breathlessly.

"I love you" Sehun whispered, "I love you, Kim Jongin"

  
Jongin gaped at him cause that's the first ever Sehun has confessed, he knew but having the other to say those words bring such a foreign feeling inside him that the tanned male found himself tearing up.

"Say that again" The older requested.

"I love you" Sehun repeated softly and kissed his cheek, "I love you" a kiss on the other.

Sehun chanted those words while dropping feathery kisses over his fiance's face.

 

 

"Hyung" Sehun called his older brother as he find the older stirring something in a cup.

"Coffee?" Kyungsoo asked and Sehun shook his head a little.

"What is it? you look...stressed" His brother sat down implying for the younger to take a seat too.

"Yixing?" Sehun asked.

"He went home, I stayed because mother asked me too, Preparations for my baby brother's wedding" Sehun blushed despite his tiredness.

"You are happy, right?" Kyungsoo asked solemnly and Sehun nodded.

"Very" He answered with a genuine smile and the other mirrored his action.

"What got you so worked up then?"

"Jongin....he's very disturbed over his family, Hyung"

"So I wasn't wrong, It felt more like a I take the deal, you are accepted, thank you for cooperating with us and all that business bullshit" Kyungsoo snickered, "At first I assumed maybe being a businessman has gotten over his head, it was too robotic for a human"

"Turns out, It's family drama"

"Hyung!" Sehun chided, "It's serious, He even said that if they cut ties with him, he'd be fine"

Kyungsoo sighed, "Listen Sehun ah, not much people have a great bond among their families and as much as I've seen and heard, Jongin's case is the same, They don't share a strong connection"

"When mom kicked me out, days were going through as if my world has crashed, yes I had Yixing but without mother's blessing, It felt like i was committing a sin by being with him" Kyungsoo tapped his brother's hand and stretched his palm out to him.

Sehun immediately grabbed it with his both hands and kept biting his bottom lip, "Jongin...he wants it, I can feel it over how he was so upset"

"I know Sehun ah but there's only much you both are bound to do and it's obvious after your marriage the most prior person to you would be your life partner. You'd both be each other's family, which doesn't imply you'd forget the ones before that yet life ahead becomes much more meaningful and special, trust me"

Sehun nodded lazily before dropping his head in his arms, "Sehun ah?" the said guy hummed in response, "I need my hands to drink the coffee"

He released the grip over his brother's hand and watch him sip his hot drink, "You love Yixing a lot"

"Hell nah, I just married him out of sympathy" Kyungsoo responded sarcastically making his younger brother chuckle softly, "I know I'm not much expressive when it comes to it but I do, I really love him"

"You both look perfect together"

"Jongin would disagree, he has this high image of you two as the world's greatest power couple" The older snickered, "And you never seem to deny that" Sehun just shrugged with a smirk.

"He has corrupted you"

 

  
Jongin has been busy with the initiation of his dance studio he'd always dream of opening under his mother's name, It was doing fine for a studio just started.

"You're hot so half of the attendees would be registering only to ogle over you" Chen intruded in the middle of Jongin's choreography he was practicing alone.

"I'm taken" Jongin only answered and caught the flying bottle just in time glaring at Chen who threw it without warning, "and who cares?"

"Sehun would" Chen smirked resultant to Jongin's heavy sigh as he controlled his temper, "I missed teasing you, I'd never get over this heavenly feeling of seeing you containing yourself from your outbursts"

"Yeah? I'd rather not let him in, I'm pretty sure my husband has the charm on drawing people in like magnets and he'd still be too oblivious which is even more frustrating cause SHIT!" Jongin yelled making Chen cackle at the background sliding down the wall dramatically.

"Fiance, love" Chen corrected as Jongin side eyed him, "If you're that desperate, just get married, I'm getting bored on waiting to embarrass you on your wedding"

"Who even told told you that I'd invite you?"

"Sehun would"

"He hates you too"

"Nah, he let me hug him first even before Baekhyun" Chen reasoned, slow and quiet.

"What would you do?"

"Nothing too serious, I'd tell him to think this over and if Sehun had gotten sense on time, I'll help him run away"

"That's bland"

"yes unless Sehun actually decides to take a step back"

Jongin rolled his eyes drinking from his bottle as the door slid open revealing Sehun.

"I'm sorry if I am interrupting, I just wanted to see you" He spoke soft and gentle as Chen cooed at the side receiving death glares from his best friend.

"Why don't you both just get married then?" He asked again.

 

"Sehun?" Jongin whispered softly, the pair seated on the floor with Sehun between the older's legs, back pressed against his fiance's chest.

He hummed, "You're sleepy" The older stated and Sehun giggled in daze, Jongin leaned against the wall straight.

"I always feel sleepy when I cuddle with you, I'm sorry"

"What are you apologizing for? I'm always draped over you half passed out" Jongin pulled the other even closer "I just wanted to ask something" he pecked his Sehun's neck lightly.

"What would that be?" Sehun asked in a sing song tone, "You're in a good mood" Jongin smiled, breathing out a chuckle close to his exposed neck making Sehun squirm in his hold.

"Don't do that"

"What?"

"Breath on my...neck or stuff" Sehun sighed.

"Stuff?" Jongin provoked, voice low on purpose.

"What was your question again?" Sehun dismissed reminding the older another more important answer at hand.

Clearing his throat, he continued, "Let's get married"

Sehun turned around a little in his arms, he brought up his left hand up to their faces, "Aren't we?" his voice oh so soft and gentle.

"What I mean is, let me replace this with an official wedding band, be mine already" Jongin grabbed his fiance's hand dropping a kiss atop his palm.

"Next week, How does that sound? I can't wait much longer"

Sehun let out a breath he was holding in since Jongin bring the whole marriage topic, "next week?" he asked.

"Isn't that too soon?" he licked his lips out of habit and frowned.

"When do you suggest?" Jongin asked gently, "whenever you're ready, I'll ring your bell with the priest beside me" He pecked the younger's lips as a smile stretched across them.

"Mmhm, It's not that, It's a big day right?" Sehun nodded his head along to his own statements, "that's all I'm worried about"

"If you say, we can even get married tomorrow" The raven haired added resultant to a gaping Jongin, "yeah?" he nodded absentmindedly.

"Then let's get married tomorrow"

Sehun giggled at Jongin's eager request, shrugging with a sweet smile, "Alright"

"Alright?" Jongin still wasn't brought out of the shock, "yes, Jongin ah"

"I think I'm going to start crying" Jongin's voice cracked but Sehun thumbed over his lips, "Don't, I'll always have upper hand on that" The younger let out a watery chuckle lifting his gaze as he pouted, fresh tears brimming in his eyes.

"We might be looking too stupid here, We're acting like lovesick fools with sickening sweet lines passed around" Jongin guffaws at the younger's description, "Wait"

"Weren't you the one who said to be losers together? that's actually what we're on" Jongin played along, Sehun hummed leaning back again with droopy eyes.

"Being losers together, You actually were a loser to end up in love with me"

 

The date of the wedding ended up next week, It was quite a noisy meeting in which Sehun and Jongin, the actual pair to tie knots hadn't enough to say for their best friends took it on themselves to set it up for them.

  
Kyungsoo banned Jongin from seeing Sehun for a whole week till the wedding, Yixing coming to help him reasoning it's a very exciting and incredible feeling to watch him come to you as the one and only, Jongin only snorts helplessly.

 

"Sehun ah, you're getting married" Kyungsoo concluded at quiet night laying beside his younger brother who watched him with amused eyes.

"yeah, shocker right?" Sehun let out a weak laugh, playing along with his fingers.

"3 years back, we'd have never thought that this day would come so soon" Kyungsoo murmured, lost in his thoughts as Sehun quietly listened to his brother.

"I'm so proud of you, Sehun ah, you fought so hard and brave for yourself" The shorter moved forward dropping a gentle kiss over his younger brother's forehead.

"that too with you guys help, you know that all this while I'd have never set my mind straight if not for you" his voice wavered and he still hates this habit of getting emotional pretty easily but Sehun knows he had accepted this one anyway.

"I think I'd cry more than mother on your wedding" Kyungsoo stated, hugging his brother's waist plopping his chin atop his shoulder, the younger chuckled.

"literally everyone said the same thing, the hall would be filled with guests bawling their eyes out, that'd be entertaining to record" Sehun hummed eyes suddenly heavy, he cuddled close to his brother and in the silent room both fell asleep together mimicking their childhood memory.

 

Like their preference, the wedding would be held at the beach, a laid back ceremony where the couple could enjoy it the greatest, especially Sehun.

 

Jongin busies himself further in his studio's management, Yixing invested a lot in help, they've become business partners and Jongin knows he's way grateful for the other seeming the progress was getting much more better.

Junmyeon gifted him a new well furnished apartment, Jongin refused on the spot but his older brother wasn't giving up easy, He insisted it was for his brother in law and didn't let go until his baby brother eventually accepted.

The pair's outfits for the day end up being too comfortable, all of them argued wanting to doll them up to their liking so Jongin had to give up to that too and accepted to wear a tuxedo for the ceremony only.

  
Jongin was losing his sleep due to excitement and disbelief while Sehun on the other hand was anxious all the time, he was sweating days back when Kyungsoo asked him what was the matter, the younger was afraid he might trip and embarrass himself in front of everyone.

  
Eventually their day came and all that was happening around them was a blur, they couldn't end up with one person more than a few seconds before they rushed.

The grooms were no doubt panicking along watching their hyper relatives go back and forth, someone banged the door close while the other opened it with a bang.

 

Sehun dashed to the balcony, chest heaving as he took deep breaths gripping the railing tightly.

He whimpered clutching his shirt, shaking his head continuously.

"don't ruin this, don't ruin this please, if not for you, don't do this for Jongin" The raven haired chanted along but nothing seemed to work.

"Hyung!" He ran inside finding everyone out the door, Sehun was alone.

Perhaps everyone overestimate him, his efforts and he was trying but yet again nothing seems to work.

"Why did they left me alone? someone should be here, right?" He panted walking over to the door and pushed it open.

Jongin, Jongin, Jongin, Jongin, Jongin.

Sehun walked out in his pants and unbuttoned shirt but he couldn't care less, the younger wanted his breath back.

Upon finding Baekhyun walking out a door, Sehun can swear he has never walked so fast ever in his life.

"Sehun ah?" The shorter called worried, "Oh my God, what's wrong? Seh-" he was cut short when the younger suddenly entered the room in hurry.

Sehun finally let go as he let out a choked sob eyes landing on his fiance, soon to be husband in few hours.

Jongin's eyes widened as he stumbled towards Sehun, the younger's nose and cheeks showing off a crimson shade from close, The older didn't utter a word and wrapped his arms around the other pulling him in for a hug.

"I tried..." The younger started weakly, "I really tried but I couldn't breath" He tightly wrapped his arms around his fiance's neck, "Nobody was there, so I panicked more"

"What?" Jongin's eyes moved to Baekhyun and the shorter flee to look for Kyungsoo.

"Kyungsoo was there, Sehun ah, he headed to your room as he left mine" The older said softly in the latter's ear, "This isn't the day to leave you alone, my love"

Sehun just clenched his eyes shut and buried his face in his husband's neck breathing into his scent to calm himself.

Jongin made the younger sit on the couch and knelt down before him, "You're okay, I'm right here" He kissed Sehun's palm before holding them together in his own.

  
The door opened after few minutes, Kyungsoo emerged from behind concern evident on his face.

"What happened?" He whispered to Jongin, "Baekhyun just hurriedly sent me here, I was in the bathroom" Sehun drew back from his fiance's hold.

"You were in the bathroom? I yelled your name but you didn't answer" Sehun uttered bewildered, he resembled a lost kitten.

"I didn't hear anything, the walls were pretty thick, no sound passed through" Kyungsoo reasoned walking forward, holding his brother's arm, "I also told you before but perhaps you were deep in thoughts"

Sehun felt too stupid, he lowered his gaze in shame before he turned to Jongin, "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to ruin this"

"It's none of your fault, please I beg you, stop blaming yourself" Jongin literally pleaded cupping Sehun's face, "and please button your shirt, I'm getting too distracted"

Kyungsoo instantly pulled his brother out of the door, "Hands off pervert"

"Who are you calling pervert for? We've only kissed twice in our 3 year relationship, you pocket size squirrel" Jongin yelled from the hallway.

"I'm sorry about that too" Sehun apologized in guilt, "It's not your fault, my love" Jongin sighed with a smile, fliching a little as the shorter shut the door with a bang.

Jongin just couldn't wait to get married.

 

The part they've reserved for their wedding was decorated beautiful and simple, the altar for their vows ceremony was standing ahead on a wooden stage with same pillar as a white see through clothe fall above like a curtain, Jongin stood there patiently also satisfied with how his best friends managed the work well.

He passed both of them a grateful smile, They both only winked in response, "Good luck, my dear bumblebee" Chen whispered, "God I'm gonna cry" he faked a croaky voice.

Jongin watched his father seated on the front bench formally with his step mother beside who flashed him a soft smile which he was polite enough to return.

The tanned male only saw his sister in laws unable to find his brothers but he admits to be awaiting their arrival for they at least give him a feel of family.

The priest being Sehun's neighbour, Kyungsoo showed him the way and he bowed to the groom waiting ahead.

"Why aren't you with Sehun ah?"

"Yixing is bringing him here, I'm... pretty much weak to do that" Jongin swear he heard the older voice wavering but kept quiet as he watched the latter walked over to his mother.

"Jongin, he's here" Baekhyun whispered and Jongin didn't dare look up, he kept his gaze down, heart thundering inside his chest, he just couldn't believe this was happening.

When he finally looked up, Sehun was halfway to the altar, the older bit the inside of his cheek to suppress himself, emotions all over the place.

Their eyes made contact and before he knew a smile spread across his face, Yixing helped Sehun take the two stairs before turning to Jongin.

"You know what to do from now on, mate" Yixing grinned as Jongin nodded smile all along present.

Sehun's cheeks and nose were still pinkish and that added an even more ethereal touch to the younger's beauty.

 

They exchanged rings and Jongin noticed that Sehun had worn the previous band in his right middle finger.

 

"I have given you my heart a long time ago yet the things you've given me in return are nothing but priceless, you saved me Jongin ah, you caught me and walked along with everything I was to suffer alone, you made me believe that life isn't that bad, it doesn't matter where the journey ahead will take us but I know it'd always end with you beside me, hand in mine, I love you and you're the bestest person i am to meet" Sehun finished teary eyed with a big smile on his face.

Jongin quickly wiped his cheeks, bottom lip digging into his teeth.

"My love, With you beside me I feel powerful, you see me as a hero but in return you've become the exact figure to me, You are home and I'd do anything for it to be my forever, You gave me an important reason to exist and then I was living, You're an incredible person, a soft and pure soul and damn do I feel lucky to be your husband, you already know I love you"

 

"Do you Oh Sehun take Kim Jongin as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

"I do" Sehun let out confidently, Jongin winked mouthing thank you.

"Do you Kim Jongin take Oh Sehun as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?" The priest repeated with a gentle smile.

"I do" Jongin uttered, he was sure the time to faint was near.

  
"Therefore, it is my pleasure to now pronounce them husband and husband, You may now kiss your groom!" The priest finished and Jongin didn't need to be told twice.

He pulled the other close by his waist and crashed their lips together, Sehun pressed his palm against his husband's neck smiling a little as the older deepened the kiss further more.

Sehun was the first to pull apart and he heard Yixing whistle, arms around his weeping husband, the younger smiled at his brother.

The raven haired then glanced at his husband and his heart swell with love as he watched the older wiping his tears while hugging his brother, Minseok.

"Ah, our dearest brother in law" Minseok commented and Sehun bowed in respect, "What about a hug? that okay?" He asked and the younger nodded slowly.

Chen came over to Jongin and wrapped his arms around him, "Bumblebee. you've grown up" He murmured pulling away and for once the taller was too happy to get mad at the ridiculous nickname.

 

The couple changed into comfy clothes, Jongin walked out looking like a model as his brother called him pulling off with a black see through shirt, jeans rolled up from the end.

"Where is my husband?" Jongin asked Chen who was busy sipping on his drink and listening to Yixing explain something to a girl frustratingly, "Baekhyun dragged him somewhere to give you a surprise, I guess that was it, he's gone for good from you"

Jongin didn't pay him any mind and neither was Chen asking to, he was busy debating something along with Yixing, they were literally ganging up on the guy.

He watched Kyungsoo emerged from the back of the resort walking to the open beach with a smile, "Where's Sehun?"

"Give him a break, you koala"

"Your husband is flirting with a guest alongside Chen"

Jongin knows Kyungsoo's possessiveness very well till now so he amusedly watched the shorter fume searching around for his husband.

"Where is the heck is my husband? Can anyone tell me?" Jongin yelled in frustration.

"Easy tiger" Baekhyun yelled back from further away, reaching closer he dropped Sehun's hand atop his, "all yours"

"Holy shit" Sehun was matching him but with a white shirt, Jongin reluctantly removed his eyes from the younger's slightly visible torso.

and the surprised reaction wasn't on that, Sehun was wearing a simple one layer flower crown attached to a veil at the back with a bow.

"Your bridey groom" Baekhyun commented as Sehun just stood in front of him biting his lips.

"Do I look cute?" Sehun asked softly.

"Oh my God" Jongin exclaimed in happiness, "You look so precious, my angel you are"

"stop being so gross" Chen commented from behind and when Jongin turned around he was back to explain something to -- Kyungsoo.

He felt a soft pair of lips press a kiss over his cheek, "You look gorgeous and not just in the hallway" Jongin chuckled pecking his husband's lips.

"Let's dance" The older dragged his husband, at a point walking backwards as he faced Sehun again, a smirk played on his lips while the other's blush increased but none withdrew from the eye contact.

  
"We're married, can you believe?" Jongin asked, walking a little shower.

"I do" Sehun whispered showing his husband the wedding band he slipped onto his beloved finger.

"Smart" Jongin whispered back.

  
The sky turned darker as they all lounged together, Chanyeol joined them later, he passed the newlywed a big smile and they mimicked the action genuinely leaving past all the bad encounters behind and starting new ahead.

The guests little by little walked over to the mic to say their well wishes to the couple and in the middle Sehun got up suddenly and made his way to Chanyeol,

  
Jongin watched carefully as he whispered something to Baekhyun and Chanyeol and they both nodded excitedly wandering off to who knows where.

  
Sehun just stood there watching his husband lovingly, "I have a surprise for you, I wanted to do this"

  
"I wanted to sing you a song" The younger announced and Kyungsoo just smiled and Jongin assumes he knew already.

  
The pair came back with a guitar and Baekhyun sat down in front of the piano and Chanyeol got ready with this guitar.

  
Sehun grabbed his trembling hands around the mic handle together and cleared his throat.

  
"Remember when you sang me a song, This is all dedicated to you, my love" Sehun closed his eyes and Baekhyun started with his piano, It reminded Jongin of a familiar tune, Chanyeol joined the latter seconds after.

 

_Looks like we made it_  
_Look how far we've come my baby_  
_We mighta took the long way_  
_We knew we'd get there someday_

His husband's melodious voice echoed around as he listened carefully and every word touched his heart and this was for him, those words were meant for him, The song was you're still the one and Jongin remembered Sehun playing it once in the studio.

 

_They said "I bet they'll never make it"_  
_But just look at us holding on_  
_We're still together still going strong_

_You're still the one I run to_  
_The on that I belong to_  
_You're still the one I want for life_  
_You're still the one I love_  
_The only one I dream of_  
_You're still the one I kiss good night_

  
Sehun smiled as he paused staring straight at Jongin, the music at the background kept playing.

  
_Ain't nothin' better_  
_We beat the odds together_  
_I'm glad we didn't listen_  
_Look at what we would be missin'_  
_They said "I bet they'll never make it"_  
_But just look at us holdin' on_  
_We're still together still goin' strong_

_You're still the one I run to_  
_The one that I belong to_  
_You're still the one I want for life_

  
_Jongin knew the each word held a deeper meaning behind it than just a mere song to dedicate over, This matched them, It was their life._

  
_I'm so glad we made it_  
_Look how far we've come my baby_

  
Sehun finished with tilt of his head, smiling softly at his husband who just watched him mesmerized, Kyungsoo stood up and clapped hard and just like that everyone applauded the groom for singing in his beautiful voice, Jongin still remained seated.

 

"You know you guys can be the grand couple, Just form a band and start a celebrity life" Chanyeol suggested and Baekhyun nodded.

"If not that, They'd become such powerful duo of models" The shorter played along with his boyfriend's idea.

But nothing beats Chen, "Come on, get up" He ordered everyone.

  
"We're not ending the night at boring gossip, Let's dance, we have whole damn dancers here" Chen exclaimed pulling Jongin and Yixing out of his seats.

"Go for duo, everybody" Chen suggested.

"Shit, no! I don't got anybody, stop" But that was bit too late and they all wandered off into the open beach under the sky, Sehun rubbed his foot sole over the sand, "It's soft"

  
"I think he was right when he promised to embarrass me today"

  
"Come on, start, I got my partner" Chen said emerging from the resort finally dragging a bewildered Minseok.

"Dance off" Baekhyun giggled before hitting the play button over a huge music system.

  
One dance started playing and Sehun started laughing at his husband's expression, "You did that on purpose" He complained while yelling to Chen who was moving to the rhythm slowly, feeling the beat.

"I know, now show off how great you were dancing at it in the studio" Chen yelled back to be audible through the loud music.

The couple saw all the guests dancing around freely, Their eyes landes on Yixing and Kyungsoo, the taller was making his husband follow the moves and they were pretty good, even at sync.

"Let's lose it" Jongin grinned and Sehun chuckled shrugging, "Alright"

  
Jongin dragged his husband to the middle and went on with the beat, They were both in sync since Sehun has seen Jongin dance to it but as they've did before, I take the lead and you follow.

The couple laughed together while dancing, showing off their great match, at the beat drop of only music, They pulled each other close and Sehun threaded his fingers through his husband's hair.

They know everyone was staring but they just swayed along forehead pressed against one another, Sehun pressed his lips together suppressing the laughter but Jongin wasn't subtle enough.

Now they were just crazy dancing, twirling each other before dropping in one's arm that continues back and forth and anyone could tell, they were happy and having fun, A perfect happy newlywed couple.

"This is really their day" Kyungsoo whispered to his husband who smiled and kissed his forehead watching the pair sit down on the sandy surface laughing hysterically.

Sehun's veil and flower crown was at his side now, hair disheveled but Jongin was matching the look exactly well, both panting holding theirs stomachs.

"And they match perfect well" Yixing added, chuckling at the sight.

  
"My energy is drained, mate, I can't freaking move a limb" Jongin whined helping Sehun stand up, holding the waist of his beloved for support.

"What do you mean? you have the whole night left and the best fun belongs there" Yixing replied in utter shock, Kyungsoo froze in his husband's hold eyes wide.

"And certainly you're the top, so man up dude" The couple didn't move an inch, looking at Yixing in horror cause well...that's private.

"Wow" Baekhyun huffed out a laugh, "Is he drunk, Soo?" Chen asked amused.

Kyungsoo stared at his oh so cute and innocent looking beloved, "You're damn wild, Xing" He whispered mostly to himself.

"Now don't we let the couple go and have the best fun of the entire day?" Baekhyun cooed and Jongin let out a nervous chuckle, "I look drunk, Jongin" Sehun murmured pointing to a mirror at the table.

"We both do, yeah" The other agreed.

"Drunk fun is even more cool" Chanyeol added and Jongin watched his husband's cheek turn bright red but they always have the excuse to blame it on the chilly air.

 

 

  
"Happy Birthday, Hyung!" Sehun greeted in a singsong manner, Jongin coming up behind his husband holding several shoppers of toys and beverages as Sehun balanced the cake on his palms fine.

"How does that sound?" Sehun asked staring at the closed door, "Happy and cheerful" Jongin replied, dropping a quick kiss at his husband's neck, the other squirmed.

"Oh my God, it was gonna fall"

"But it didn't" Jongin concluded.

"Who's gonna ring the bell then?" Sehun asked.

"My hands are full, of course you"

"It'll fall" Sehun said softly once again, "My hands are trembling and it's nerve wrecking"

"Let us ask a neighbour" Jongin looked around and found nobody until a kid came around holding a helmet.

"Hey, kiddo" Jongin called and the innocent child made his way towards them, Sehun was just focused balancing the cake on his palms cause it showed the decoration around every side.

"Ring the bell for us" Jongin asked nicely, showing him the shoppers in hand.

"Can't you drop them down before ringing the bell" The kid mumbled, "Just do as you're told, chipmunk" Jongin retorted.

"Jongin!" Sehun chided before looking at the kid as he was to apologize, the door opened revealing his Hyung, "Happy Birthday Hyung!" Sehun repeated, well practiced.

The couple entered the house without even thanking the kid, "Weirdos" He muttered wide eyed at his neighbour's door.

 

  
The raven haired smiled down at the baby holding his tiny hand over his, "He's so small" He sighed softly.

"Pick him up, See he wants you to" Sehun looked up at his brother then again to the baby and surely the tiny arms in the air were the indication.

"What if I drop him?"

"You won't, Just hold him secure, like this" Kyungsoo picked the baby up and wrapped his broad arms around the tiny frame almost hiding him.

"Say hi Alex, Uncle Sehun is here" Kyungsoo waved the baby's hand at his uncle and Sehun chuckled lightly, watching the baby with loving eyes.

"Come on" Kyungsoo held his arms out offering the child and Sehun backed away, "No, I'll drop him"

"You won't, Sehun ah, I know you wanna hold him, here"

Sehun reached out his trembling arms and finally took hold of the baby, he was so small against his chest, Alex's cheek pressed against his uncle's chest and Sehun cooed.

Suddenly Alex squirmed upon hearing his father's voice alongside Jongin, Sehun started panicking.

  
"Hyung, he's moving, what do I do? I can't balance him!" Sehun cried out and at the other's displeased face Alex started crying too.

"He's kicking, help me" Jongin chuckled helping the baby out of his husband's arms and holding it against his chest, rubbing his back up and down slowly.

"he's moving huh?" Jongin asked amused.

"I have bad history with babies" Sehun answered and Kyungsoo laughed setting the cake on the table.

Kyungsoo and Yixing adopted a child of 9 months, the baby already had a name so they didn't bother to change it, Alex Oh Zhang was the new addition to their family.

  
Sehun was too fond of the child and even the baby had great slumbers over his uncle's lap but the raven haired was too scared to hold him in his arms cause back then he has lost balance for they drooled a lot and Sehun had tough time in the past exactly.

"You'll get used to it" Yixing encouraged helping his husband set down the spoons and glasses as the other pair got busy cooing at their child.

"He is biased for you both, you know" Kyungsoo stated, "He doesn't easily gives in even with ma, Chen and the other guys are next deal"

"Perhaps we give off good parental vibes" Jongin replied making Yixing laugh, "Noted"

  
"It's time to cut the cake" The birthday guy announced himself as Jongin gave Alex to his father and gathered around the table.

"The others will be here at nighttime, so I'll just spare their pieces" Yixing reminded them and urged his husband to go on.

Kyungsoo blew out the candles and cut the cake, The elders sang in a rhythm of happy birthdays and for sure the baby had the most attention anyway.

  
Sehun sat down on the couch beside his husband who pulled him closer as his arm rested beside his waist, Alex's cute baby noises echoing through the living room as he was seated on the floor among his new gifted toys.

"He's so cute" Sehun said, watching his nephew fondly.

"Yeah, you have a rival" Jongin hummed kissing Sehun's temple, "What do you think about having our own?"

Sehun grew quiet and so did Jongin, "I'd love that, I know I'll turn better like I did within life, you're here so I know we can raise our child well"

"You know I love you?" Jongin whispered and Sehun narrowed his eyes, "Actually I don't, You forgot this morning"

"I did?"

"hell yeah" Jongin laughed at his husband's sassy expression before pecking his lips.

"Oh shit, no PDA in front of a child, control your hormones" Baekhyun burst in without a greeting.

"and no swearing too" Yixing sighed before putting a pacifier in Alex's mouth.

"Why? you seem tired mr Zhang, the best fun nights have gone missing yeah?" Baekhyun mocked and the taller shrugged.

"Nah, I still manage them pretty well" Sehun groaned, "Kyungsoo gets very tired so I gotta help both ways"

"Yixing shut up, I don't need details about my brother's best fun nights" Sehun let out in horror.

Jongin only laughed beside him hitting his thigh repeatedly.

 

They arrived back at their house, Jongin chuckling lightly cause the best fun wasn't dying down within today's gathering.

"What you say? wanna have the best fun night?" Jobgin whispered lowly against his husband's neck and the younger pushed him aside.

"They're gonna go awe if they found out we still haven't gotten our best fun yet" Jongin trapped his husband against the wall, "Am I allowed to, my love?"

Sehun didn't trust his voice so he just nodded, "Do I have the permission to finally have you?" The older inched forward and nuzzled his husband's neck.

"You don't have to ask" Sehun panted head rolling back against the wall as he was fully pressed against the solid wall and his husband's body.

"Am I privileged enough to make love to you, Mr Oh?" Jongin breathed on his neck and Sehun squirmed before letting out a soft giggle.

"Yes, Jongin ah, just claim me yours like I am"

"With pleasure"

Sehun dropped onto the soft mattress with Jongin on top of him, the younger turned his head aside to give his husband full access to mark his neck.

It was still a disbelieving scenario for Sehun, 4 years back a fed up human from life was grateful to have a life, Sehun never in his dream would have imagined that the guy he ran away from in the hallway would held the most special place in his heart and life.

The gorgeous male from the hallway, his friend, his lover, his boyfriend, his saviour and now his husband and in life onwards certainly the father of his child.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me? I know the update was very late and I'm very sorry, You see that was it? I also apologize if you were expecting much more but I'm a shitty writer jsksb and I suck at it yet I enjoyed writing it and the first ever work for sekai, I'm very embarrassed! Big sorry to Chanyeol, you were just tall and I had to fit you in that role dearest.  
> But if you liked it, make sure to leave kudos and comments, you have my respect and love hksbs, thank you for reading and I hope you weren't disappointed much.


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